Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Milonga Jungle Creatures Part Two: Those who DO dance

In part one, I mentioned the Milonga Jungle Creatures that I avoid (Black Widow, Kitty-on-a-Leash, Gretel Grudge, etc.). Now here are some other creatures, whom I have catalogued while on one of my Milonga Jungle excursions.

The Enigma Creatures: Some women do not dance as much as they like. Alicia my friend and first tango coach does not dance as much as she likes because she can dance every dance and all night. She was born in stilettos. Luckily it was a head-first birth. In part, I am writing this for her. Having the ability to learn from the creatures who dance is important. I think I know about these dancing creatures better than many women because they capture me! So far they let me go after 3 or 4 songs. However, I hope that ladies leave some more ideas in a comment.

Ladies, learn from these creatures:

Miss Aisle B. Dancing: Some women stand in the aisle as men are coming off the floor, with that “dance with me” look in their eyes. That works for them. This is sales, a numbers game. Rejection cannot ruin you in the sales game.

The Romance Novelist: The woman with the aura about her just sitting there may be writing a hot romance novel in her head. She has that look of I-just-love-being-here all over her face. Why is she blushing and fanning herself?

Amy Magnetist: She has some sort of power over men. Did she read this in a book, or is she the Black Widow in disguise? Anyway, get a book on animal magnetism.

Helga Hypnotist: She learned long ago how to hypnotize the best dancers at the refreshment table, and dance all night!

Gretta Moovit-Baybee: She moves to the music while sitting or standing. I dance with this tanguera most when I am an out-of-town dancer. She is almost always fun to dance with, and often a great dancer.

Permit Patty: Before a milonga she asks for me for a “permit to ask for a dance” or I more often give her the permit. Either works. Permit Patty comes all dressed up to the milonga after a class and I don’t even recognizer her until she is asking me. I am so relieved that she found me because I would not have even seen her. It is an honor to be asked by Permit Patty.

Fanessa Vullafun:  Having fun is 100% for her.  Fun is what Fanessa is all about.  She goes to classes to add to her "F2" (fun-factor) not snob factor, and she is my best partner, the one I'll most likely ask to dance a milonga.  We'll most likely dance more than one tanda.

Nancy Knotty: They say that the nice guy comes in last. Maybe the nice girl comes in last too. What is the opposite of nice? According to Santa, the opposite of “nice” is “naughty.” Try that ladies. (Now I am guessing.)

Cammy the Chameleon: All the above all in one woman and maybe even the option below.

LAST and least:

Femme Fatale: Handsome men get dances. Beautiful woman get dances. Beauty fades but the Milonga goes on. Give up the Femme Fatale myth as a part of your human development.

So what if the good looking lady is getting a lot of dances.  Don't forget the other creatures who may be dancing more than you.  Femme Fatale is not stealing all your dances!  Negative self-talk is.  This in cognitive therapy is called “the negative filter”  Let me suggest something that is a typical female negative filter about men, and this negative filter will ruin dancing for you: Believing that men are SO much different than women. (Research is showing this NOT to be true in spite of pop psychology – Venus/Mars stuff.) Men AND women chase after the packaging. A very handsome man from Dallas comes down and dances like a bumper car clown, and you stand in line to dance with him. (So I don't want to hear about "men are so shallow...bla, bla, bla.")

Femme Fatale be damned.  Get over it and start dancing anyway.  Metamorphose into one of the many dancing Milonga Jungle Creatures if the Femme Fatale persona never possesses you or before she leaves you at some point.

If you have read this blog, you have one Permit Patty life-long memembership with me.


  1. When I grow up can be a cross between Gretta Moovit-Baybee and The Romance Novelist? Or maybe I should just try for the chameleon, my attention span being what it is. ;)

  2. lol, okay, I changed my mind. I want to be Fanessa :) I can't help liking The Romance Novelist, though - I bet she's a librarian by day.

  3. Mark,

    I thought I was bad in stating my opinions in a matter of fact way, but you do a bloody good job.

  4. Dieudonne: I am not sure if this is good or bad, but knowing you -- it's good. My intent is to help ladies dance more and be happy with themselves. Being frank was in this case the best method, don't you think?


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