Sunday, June 24, 2018

Tango's Four Tendencies

At a national conference of therapists, the organizers invited Gretchen Rubin, who had written a New York Times Best Seller, The Four Tendencies.  She explained in her talk four categories of people in the way to find the motivation to get things done.  I think you will like her motivational speech for understanding how we respond to external and internal motivation. I went home and read her book right away.  Luckily I found a video of her presenting her ideas, summarized well in her TedTalk video for you.  Please check it out below.

What advantages/disadvantages of your personality tendency affect your tango? So here are the categories, just to let your mind to set this up well:

Motivation Tendency       External      Internal                     Strength
Upholders                         yes                yes                           Take care of team and self
Obligator                           yes                no                             Dies for the team
Questioners                      no                 yes                           Takes care of team/self with answers
Rebels                               no                 no                             Keeps the team from lethal mistakes

What is your tendency?  How does it affect your tango?

In July I will add more reflection on this subject, but first I want to hear from people of what tendency they have and how they think it affects them. 

How does you tendency . . .

1. Help you to increase your skill level?
2. How much do you find that music is really important to motivate you to dance?
3. Does your tendency make you interested in tango etiquette or reject it?
4. Any other observations?

Please make comments on the Facebook page or on this post. You can also send me messages at

I look forward to hearing from you.

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Wednesday, June 13, 2018

We are a fantastic dancer!

She and I are both percussionists. It may be one of the reasons I love dancing with her. Without exception, she reminds me of our drummer bond, our connection through rhythm awareness.

She needn't remind me!  I know.

Yesterday, after a particularly fun tango, we pause between songs in the tanda and she says, "That was so much fun! You are a fantastic dancer."

Pensively I suggest: "We are fantastic dancers when we dance together."

She counters. . .
"We are a fantastic dancer!"

What a great insight into what tango is all about! Although I really do enjoy positive feedback about my dancing, I find it a bit perplexing that I so often hear a dance partner's self-dismissive responses to my praise.  "I just follow what you lead," I often hear. What is Yin without Yang? What are the stars without the backdrop of the stillness of night? What is an embrace without open arms?  It is up to both heads to listen to the music, both pairs of legs, both bodies to respond to the music meaningfully. It takes two hearts to listen to one another. 

"We are a fantastic dancer," says it best.

Thanks, Stephanie!

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Photo credit:
Tango Embrace by Alan Kirkland-Roath