Wednesday, June 24, 2026

When La Música Shows up at Your Milonga

No one dares lead her.

She comes to every milonga.

Too often, she gets little notice from dancers. At times she is even shunned by some.


La Música sadly does not come to every milonga. She must be invited by the DJ, and then honored by the dancers.
But this time was different.  Everyone realized who she was. Incarnate Music came to our local milonga. We knew because the speakers seemingly stopped working and La Música's essence came from all directions, and seemingly out of her.  She glowed.

Let you tell me what I remember from that evening.  She looks my way. Every man and woman who leads sees her same laser-sharp power-mirada.  We all see the same mirada and respond, as if hypnotized by her.  Now the question for every one of us is the same: "Will I try to lead Her, the Incarnation of Music?"

Even though I love to follow, I timidly raise my left hand. For me, it is an easy decision not to lead.  I will listen to the music.  It will lead this tandem dance. I dare not "lead," "guide," or "propose" to Music Incarnate.

In her embrace, I sense that Music overcomes me.  I am not the captain and chief navigator as usual. Where we touch, the music is even more intense. Music now fills the room and every bodily cell.  
She seems like benign electricity pulsating in my body.  I have no choice as to what I should do or how to move.  La Música gently but clearly dictates every pause.  Even more, she guides every syncopation and step—every slowing down to arrive just on time.  Every cell vibrates and harmonizes with the music. I am the bandion breathing, and the bass's deep voice.  I am the piano holding the orchestra all together. I am the violins' glissandos and pizzicatos.  African rhythms, hidden for centuries, now change the rhythms of my heart.  I am brought back to my primal being. But I know the Source of the spell.  It's her embrace.

The first tango of the tanda ends. I have tears in my eyes. But I don't let go of her. I am not ashamed, but relish this moment of deep emotion, a catharsis expressed by tears. After the second tango, I back up, and we are both astonished. She is no longer the woman in the glowing robe, La Música Incarnada, but my wife. How did that happen?  My wife, too, apparently thinks that she was dancing with La Música. This, I suppose, is the Holy Trinity of tango when Music, you, and your partner are One. As we continue to dance, it becomes more and more apparent that the Music leads; we listen; the sense of who is in charge defers only to Music, and we mortals honor our Muse. The tanda comes to an end. Time had not raced by. Time stopped.  At the speed of light, astrophysicists tell us, time stops and eternity opens up.  Is this what happens when you dance with a Being of Light?  La Música goes to the center of the dance floor. She disappears slowly, and the music returns to the speakers. Lesson learned: Music speaks and we listen.  Music guides us gently; we follow.  She does not force her lead, and lets us go do our own thing if we insist.  Have you danced with her?

______

The empiricist will not like this Jungian interpretation, this awe of the human psyche that reveals itself even to empiricists in their dreams and nightmares and the miriad fictions they still believe with no basis (as we all do). The ancient Archetypes brought again to life by C.G. Jung, have not diminished from appearing in our dreams, even in the Age of Science. The creative process is still as much a mystery as it was for the Ancient Greeks, who relied on Muses to bring creative and inventive moments to those who were open to such things.  Those scientists studying consiousness and countless metanormal human experiences give up their materialistic views of the universe.  Anyone who dances with La Música, will know what I mean.

Think of a time when you experienced this oneness with the music. Think of a tanda when your partner was in a trance with you.  When your partner did not jar you out of your mystical state, your trance. Surely you have danced with Incarnate Music, but perhaps misunderstood that the person you danced with was not the one who created this spell. It was Music.  I am suggesting that it was not you and not your partner who truly creates this moment.  According to ancient wisdom, humans were not the creative energy behind marvelous moments like these.*

Mortals often lack the vocabulary to describe mystical experiences, but I believe mystical experiences are the very reason you continue to come back to dance. Many even denigrate this experience by calling this attraction to return to dance an "addiction to dopamine." But what if it is more than that? You entered into communion with the Divine, perhaps even at a deeper and more regular experiences than many shamans and mystics!  Just perhaps. 

And, just perhaps, if you keep denying your creative Muse her place in your life, she will abandon you and your love for tango will evaporate.  For many it already has.  Acknowlege the wonder, and hold onto your Muse.


✨ *Get to know your Muse: Click here for the mythology, history, and radical definitions behind this post...

Muses: Before they were abstract concepts, the Muses were literal, divine entities. Hesiod writes in his Theogony about meeting the Muses on Mount Helicon. They didn't just inspire him; they gave him a staff and breathed a divine voice into him. In ancient Greece, you didn't have a creative identity—you were visited by one.

Socrates: The founder of Western philosophy stated that our creative process is accompanied by a daimonion—a divine, inner voice or spirit. He considered this spirit to guide him. "Le guide" is the word for the tango "leader" in modern French (le/la guide). The guide does not dictate but navigates toward creativity and wisely avoids a misstep.

Genius: Modern people have relegated the term "genius" to individuals of a certain, measurable IQ. It is funny that Edison, who was considered a genius, had to be homeschooled by his mother because teachers said he was too stupid. In Roman thought, every individual, place, and abstract concept had a Genius (a divine nature present in every person and place). Perhaps your own milonga has its own Genius that materializes when the lights go down?

Boethius: This polymath philosopher, musician, and statesman was my Muse for this post. Awaiting his execution as a prisoner, Boethius was visited by Lady Philosophy incarnate. (Sophia was the Greek goddess of wisdom). He wrote a highly influential book, The Consolation of Philosophy, which great authors not only read but also translated into their own languages. It was not Sophia who visited me, but La Música—our servant-guide awaiting our cabeceo (nod) at every milonga.  And yes, when you recognizer her, you dare not lead her!


Some radical ideas on the notion of leading and following:
The mystic prophet from Nazareth said to his disciples: “The greatest among you should be like the youngest, and the one who leads as the one who serves.” The word in Greek for "the one who leads" means to "guide." The word Luke uses is ὁ ἡγούμενος (ho hēgoumenos) from the verb hēgeomai, which literally means "to lead the way," "to guide," or "to go before." But Jesus is adding a radical redefinition of the word to mean to guide with humility and kindness.  What I mean by "radical" equally applies to tanguer@s and modern Christians.

An hēgoumenos or "leader" in the visionary's sense isn't a military dictator barking orders; he or she is a guide who opens up a path. This child-like guide is someone who walks ahead to show where the footing is safe. Luke’s leader is a guide who serves as a διακονῶν (diakonōn), meaning "one who waits tables," or one who ensures the safety of those following. This is tango navigation at its best. But Music's guiding is mostly about inspiration and Music itself becomes somaticised.  That is, you become Incarnate Music too.  Musicians experience this all the time.  Dansers do too.  That's why I see you coming back over and over to dance.

The oldest Gospel is from Mark. He uses "slave"  rather than "waiter or server" as Luke does. From the above quote, the Nazarene Prophet also suggested that one should be like the youngest. In an earlier quote, he said, "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it." Interestingly, the word "receive" in the Greek original is δέχομαι (dechomai)—as if the kingdom is being offered by a servant. This is how to listen and "follow" Music. [Luke 18:17]


How to allow creative ideas into your dance, as also suggested by others:

  • Einstein (influenced by the philosopher Schopenhauer) said in a private letter in 1952: "People like you and me never grow old. We never cease to stand like curious children before the great mystery into which we were born." I learned this from being a father: Children do not dance to the music. The music forces them to move; it dances them.
  • Picasso said, "Every child is an artist. The problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up." He also famously said: "It took me four years to paint like Raphael, but a lifetime to paint like a child."
  • Warning on the loss of creativity: If a dancer calls the magical experience of improvisational dance a "dopamine high" or assigns the magic to a certain person, these experiences will become more and more rare, and will diminish over time. Tango's conduit to Music Incarnate will wither away.

**For those interested in mythology and gender...
In this post, I often use the feminine pronoun for La Música, as it is in the languages I have studied: French, Spanish, Greek, and German. Music in English is neuter. Music, if incarnate in a living, breathing person, I imagine, would appear to be a woman, a man, or even an undefinable personage. We all see Music as the object of our adoration. Depending on the person and his or her culture, Music is male, female, or neuter.

I am presently reading The Hero with a Thousand Faces by Joseph Campbell. He frequently discusses the "Paradox of the Dual Mother" and the "Androgynous Creator." In deep mythology, the highest divine reality must transcend human polarities (like male and female). If a divinity is everything, they must be both—or neither. In Buddhist mythology this would be the Bodhisattva.  In Hindew mythology Ardhanarishvara.  In Taoism, the same appears as Xi Wangmu and the Primordial Chaos, Hundun.  Primordial Chaos/The Primal Egg contained both Yin and Yang blended together before separation.


Saturday, June 13, 2026

Dos Corazones: Where Traditional Tango Meets the Open-Role Revolution



Dos Corazones is a traditional, milonguero-style encuentro, but with double the magic of your average three-day tango event. Why? Because it is a beautifully designed, open-role event for dancers with the open hearts and dual skill sets to both lead and follow.

Because so many attendees dance both roles at Dos Corazones, the energy stays alive and everyone gets to dance.

For Men
For men who love both roles, finding opportunities to follow at regular milongas can be a challenge. Due to frequent gender imbalances, men often find themselves leading all night. Open-role events shatter that barrier, offering both men and women the freedom to explore the full spectrum of the dance.

For Women
Similarly, dual-role women face unique hurdles at traditional venues. Believe it or not, some leaders still openly state they won't dance with a woman who "dares" to dance with another woman. What absolute nonsense! Dos Corazones 4 is a refuge from these outdated norms.

For my wife and me, this December will mark our third time attending. We can’t wait to dance our primary roles, or seamlessly switch with partners who share the same dual passion. Both options promise pleasant, challenging, and exhilarating tandas—one right after the other.

Redefining "Traditional" Tango
Dos Corazones in Saarbrücken, Germany, distinguishes itself from other open-role events by remaining deeply rooted in the true values of traditional tango. It shouldn't have to be said, but "Traditional Tango" has nothing to do with the gender of your partner.

Barring people from the dance floor based on the rigid coupling norms of 1940s Argentina isn't preserving tradition; it's enforcing an outdated ideology. We simply want to dance while genuinely cherishing the art form.

What do you think? Leave a comment below on what you believe truly represents the values of traditional tango versus the restrictive norms of the last century.

Let's meet in Saarbrücken, Germany 4-6 December
If you are looking for an extraordinary, inclusive tango experience, I highly recommend joining us this winter—and then taking this beautiful concept back to your own local community. Dos Corazones 4 is paving the way for the future of tango, proving that the dance can evolve while retaining its classic beauty and embrace.

"But what if I only dance one role?" Don't worry! If you love traditional tango but haven't learned both roles yet, you are absolutely welcome. The event gladly embraces single-role dancers. To keep things seamless, guests use colored bracelets to easily identify their dancing preferences and skill sets. At Dos Corazones, the only thing that truly matters is how much you value tango's warm embrace.

Spaces fill up quickly for this international, multilingual, and multicultural celebration. Registration is open, and I hope to see you in Saarbrücken this December to experience the joy of tango with two hearts.  


To register for Dos Corazones, click here

Some footnotes about Non-political, non-ideological values of the beauty of Traditional Tango"
  • The value of ethical behavior among dancers through "Los Códigos de Tango," which are an etiquette not just "laws or rules."

  • La Época de Oro tangos, including the vals criollo and the milonga with cortinas.

  • Warm close embraces that, with skill, are not broken unless a developing partner struggles with this ability.

  • Basic dance vocabulary, such as a smooth tango walk, various ochos and turns, the cross system, etc., often in a small space.

  • The ability to dance well even with many on the dance floor with you (floorcraft, navigation and dance skill).

  • Musicality that inspires and satisfies, as each partner knows that each orchestra, each song inspires a different way of dancing.

  • TDJs who have a sense of how to build a great tanda and an overall balanced upward spiraling musical experience.

  • Friendly interactions without shunning. Some may never dance with you, but you are not shunned! (1)

  • Entrance into the line of dance happens only after there is communication between leaders before "merging" into the traffic.

  • People do not stand and talk near dancers, but sit or leave the room. (2)

  • Many welcome you as a stranger and take the risk of dancing with you, as with many encuentros I have attended.


Footnotes:

(1) Not shunning others is not necessarily a traditional tango value, unfortunately. However, it is a human value. Happily, shunning does not show up at many traditional tango events. At least it is less prevalent in my experience than in many non-traditional milongas and events. Tell me if I am wrong about this difference in the comments. :-) (See what shunning does to the brain.)

(2) All tango events and individual milongas need some improvement in this area. People who are standing and talking near the dance floor give the same effect as that of people who talk while dancing. It's unpleasant for those near the chatterboxes standing on the sidelines.


Saturday, June 6, 2026

The Irony of the Tango Therapy Conference


Below is a letter to a tango friend recounting a six-milonga weekend with CEUs (continuing education units) called, the Tango Longevity and Wellness Conference

Hi Frédérique!  Everyone knows about the healing powers of tango, but you will not believe what I learned at the conference. I learned not to go to all the modules! 

Module One:  Thursday evening. The Science of Sleep for Dancers presentation was mind-blowing with new information about what neurologists and sleep scientists are learning with MRI technologies and clinical controls to observe levels of deep sleep and Rapid Eye Movement (REM) sleep.  Unfortunately, the presentation went on until 2 a.m.! We danced after that. The presenters mentioned how the immune system is impaired drastically with less than four hours of sleep.  Ironic.

Module Two:  Friday morning. The title was How to Live to Be 100 by Building a Strong Immune System.  It was enlightening, but due to the talk on sleep deprivation, many slept in and missed Module Two.  Too bad. They would have learned to go to bed early enough to maintain the same sleep schedule.  There was something about the circadian "sleepy" rhythm--I think.  I am not sure. I had brain fog, and now I am fighting a cold now. Ironic.

Module Three:  Friday evening. The Science of Exercise Module had everyone go on a walk with numerous stations to stop and discuss the science of exercise, and especially walking.  Our walk seemed like a half-marathon.  We walked in tango shoes, which you know are not so good for walking.  Bless the poor woman who came in stilettos.  We danced after that anyway, albeit with sore feet and blackened toenails.  Ironic.

Module Four.  Saturday afternoon.  A talk on Optimal Nutrition. I took notes for you from the talks given by famous dietitians and nutrition scientists.  We danced long on Saturday evening.  The dietitians and nutritionists
 served a delightful meal at midnight at the milonga--albeit, contrary to their teaching.  I really indulged. What was I thinking?  I didn't sleep well.  I know, ironic!

Module Five:   We had a good laugh with a stand-up comedian who presented "The power of temperance in all things of pleasure."  I guess that we were all laughing because we tend to overdo our passion for tango: Not sleeping enough, eating and drinking too late, and dancing until we have damaged feet. He was so funny, and he was only a hobby comedian.  His job in real life is that he is a board-certified podiatrist.  It's strange that he was silent about the subject of our bleeding feet.  Ironic, no?

Module Six:  On the last day of the conference on Longevity and Wellness,  an inspiring speaker presented the last speech on the Power of Friendships for Longevity.  Yet with all the modules, I had little time to talk to any of my friends or new acquaintances.  I wanted to dance so much, and I always resist talking on the dancefloor.  Not much talking during the weekend.  Ironic.

What I learned:  One should apply breakthrough research about longevity via tango therapy.  I bought some books to read some books on sleep, nutrition, foot care and moderation as a philosophy.  But I will never go back.  I can overdo myself more than at any conference by just going to encuentros, festivals, and tango marathons!

-----------------------
Moral of the story: 
 Generally people who dance tango are very intelligent, but too often struggle in the area of being wise.  Ironic.

  Irony Alert:  I have written ironical posts in the past,   
  but no matter how obvious the irony, someone doesn't  
 get it.  So now you know. :-)                                            


Monday, June 1, 2026

Your Local Milonga: How to Survive Tango Town

The Tango Town Survival Guide (Because You're Already Living There)

If you did not read the thought experiment in my last post, "Living in Tango Town," please read it first.

Based on the comments on that post, a majority of people said they would not come to "Tango Town." They gave many reasons. This follow-up is for those who said, "Hell yes!" to this imagined social experiment.

In this scenario, a newly created local tango community would be richly rewarded, allowing participants to afford top-tier lessons and fly their family and friends out to visit. To me, the reaction to this experiment was totally unexpected: Tango Town was seen by many as a type of tango hell.

Of course, Tango Town is a fiction designed to elicit how one feels about the prospects of being "stuck" in a local tango community. However, I thought that providing the best possible conditions would overcome any concerns. Nope. But why?

To give you context, here are the eight main benefits that many readers actually rejected:

  1. Unlimited Education: A stipend of 1 million euros over 5 years to study non-stop with private instruction in tango, languages, philosophy, yoga, tai chi, and human growth.

  2. Global Connection: The financial means to fly family and friends from around the world to visit you.

  3. World-Class Socials: Regular milongas with a high-level dance community, guest friends, and excellent international DJs.

  4. Abundant Time: Plenty of time to read and pursue personal intellectual interests.

  5. Elite Wellness: Access to sports and physical fitness with personal coaches.

  6. Community Resources: A financially secure community with enough combined resources to host tango encuentros, marathons, and festivals without worrying about liability. Certainly, 150 wealthy tango dancers could grow their local community, right?

  7. Accessible Healing: The ability to work on personal growth through therapy without the burden of high healthcare or insurance costs.

  8. Future Freedom: Enough capital to donate to important causes or build a business for future financial freedom and early retirement.

Because you read the Tango Therapist Blog, below I present some ideas on how to survive the main "adversity" of constantly going to your local milonga. 😉

Sure, becoming rich has some risks, but most people do well with financial security. Sorry to say this, but you will not actually be chosen to participate in this research. The Tango Town experiment was merely a mirror to reflect how you view your current local milonga scene. Since many saw the experiment as a nightmare, it's clear that local scenes present real challenges!

These survival ideas will help you navigate them—because your local milonga is Tango Town!

The Tango Town Survival Plan

Having no plan increases the likelihood of your local milonga becoming Tango Hell. If your default strategy has been avoiding local milongas, skipping lessons, or dodging less-than-ideal DJs, you need a strategy. In the thought experiment, avoidance wasn't an option. To survive and thrive in a local scene, people must learn to get along and dance well with others. That is demanding.

1. Expand Your Tango Roles

In a small community, learn to dance both roles. In Tango Town, a gender-balanced community of 150 people means you have 75 potential partners. If you learn both roles, that number instantly doubles to 149. Because most real-world communities aren't perfectly gender-balanced, dual-role dancing becomes vital. It’s a massive challenge for some, but what a great challenge to have! Tango teachers often keep this tightly held secret: learning the other role is exactly what made them better.

2. Value Your Organizers

Make friends with your local organizers and help them. Some people show their love for tango through their organizational labor. Value this. If you want to influence them to host earlier milongas or cultivate an environment of ethical dance through the traditional etiquette (los Códigos de Tango), build a relationship with them. And if necessary, step up and organize a milonga or práctica yourself.

3. No Shunning

Greet everyone; shun no one. There is no justification for shunning people just because you don't want to dance with them. Greet people warmly, but be clear that you choose your dance partners via mirada and cabeceo. Ignoring someone out of fear that they might ask you to dance represents a lack of courage to set adult boundaries. A simple, "Hey, I'm glad to see you here," goes a long way. If necessary, you can establish boundaries later: "We may never dance, but I see you as a person and I'm glad you're part of this community."

4. Avoid Making Cliques

Dance across generations. If you only look for partners based on age, dating potential, or sexual attraction, it will lead to poor outcomes for both you and the community. I regularly dance with a woman who is blind and nearly 90 years old; she is an absolute joy in my life and those dances are incredibly memorable. When I danced in Latin America, everyone danced with everyone, regardless of age.

5. Dance with the Person, Not Their Beliefs

Dance with fans of Putin, Trump, Netanyahu, or with whomever you disagree politically and philosophically. I call it "dancing with the enemy" to make them human. If dance cannot bridge the gap between people who disagree, what will? Arguing?



6. SupportLocal DJs (And Get Over Yourself)

DJs vary in quality. Even playing the same music, some lack a sense of timing. My wife and I are currently working on what it takes to become good DJs ourselves—if you don't like a local DJ, become a better one. I know supporting local talent can be hard. Sometimes, my fellow tango connoisseurs, music is like wine: the wine might be mediocre, but the company is excellent. If you only look for "fine wine" at a milonga, you miss what makes the evening great: friends. This is your local milonga; get over yourself. (I might be talking to myself here. 😊)

7. Commit to Local Lessons

People who rejected Tango Town often said they wanted to travel to better themselves. But look at Buenos Aires: local barrios became the breeding grounds for excellent dancing. Running away from your own neighborhood isn't always the most efficient way to grow. If you are willing to drive three hours to another city to dance on a Saturday, try investing that same time and gas money into working with a local teacher or practice partner.

To grow, you do need to dance with different people. For me, dancing well with beginners—as both a leader and a follower—is an incredible way to sharpen my own skills while helping the community grow. Traveling to other cities is fine, but having a coach where you live changes the game. If Tiger Woods always had a coach, who are you to skip out on one? I’ve been dancing for 20 years, but two years ago, I started taking beginner lessons as a follower—first in groups, then privates. It completely transformed my leading. My wife experienced the exact same thing.

8. Grow Psychologically and Spiritually

Address the old hurts, insecurities, and social anxieties we carry from childhood and everyday life. These unresolved issues love to manifest at the milonga. Rejection, cliques, rumors, boundary violations, jealousy, and mimetic desire ("coveting others' partners") are the exact reasons people run away from local communities. They are trying to escape themselves.

In Tango Town, you couldn't run; you had five years and a stipend for a therapist to sort it out. Confronting these issues in your local scene won't be easy, but the need to grow is still there.

Postscript: Help Me Understand

I still struggle to comprehend why the idea of living in Tango Town caused such aversion. What am I missing?

I want to hear from you. Please send me your thoughts via email at mark.word1@gmail.com or leave a comment on Facebook. Those who said "Hell, no!" have explained their rationale (and told me I'm mistaken about their avoidance!). Now, I would love to hear from those who genuinely love their local milongas, or who would gladly pack their bags for Tango Town.