Blaming the Leader for a Great Tanda

  

Festivalito con Amigos 2025, Saarbrücken, Germany

In a social media discussion, a woman wrote eloquently of what it is like to dance with a musical leader:

"I don’t lead, but as a follower, when I dance with a great leader whose musicality is excellent, I internally bow to them, because to me it is absolutely incredible how you guys do it! How do you tell my body what to do, how and when, totally bypassing my own controlling mind and achieving precision as the result? Moreover, when the lead is feather-light, comfortable, and seems effortless, it’s pure magic to me.  So… may this be an encouragement for those who are hesitant to learn musicality - it really pays off."

My response to her is the following:

As I am learning the following role, I want to be like you. I want to close my eyes and be in wonder. But here, as a leader for nearly twenty years, I think I have an important message for you. You don't realize what it is like for leaders who have a partner like you, who inspires our dance. For us, you are a full partner in the magic.
1. Your embrace from the start tells me that the music is already filling your body, relaxing both of us, drawing us together. 2. Biagi's orchestra starts, and you listen to the music and then to me. You don't pull us into the downbeat when the music inspires dancing on the upbeat. You are delighted with the playfulness of the dance.
3. You let yourself go as we dance Francisco Canaro's adoration of the criollo influence in the cross rhythm of the vals cruzado. There is no fight to just stamp out the contrabass line. We just fly together. Free.
4. You accompany me as we go from a fast part in a milonga, then splash slow-motion into a musical pool. Your eyes are closed as I wonder why everyone around us is in a race to finish the song, never pausing at the end of phrases. Or in yet another milonga, I dance the habanera rhythm, and you play with the pizzicato violin part. You are so playful! We giggle with our improvisational teamwork.
5. You make it easy to be "feather light," because you are present with the music and with me. You don't abandon the embrace and take off when I pause at the end of a phrase. We breathe in together, and then go again. I feel your smile on my neck.
6. You incarnate the music, naturally feeling the music. No wonder that you finally feel that someone is there with you, as we embody the music together.
7. You feel free and unjudged/unjudging, and we laugh together when we do things that were not intended but somehow were cool anyway. Without knowing it, you just created a new movement or creative idea that I will polish (and I name it after you) in a little book which I keep.
8. Fully present, we approach the "landing" of our flight together. I am leading up to a dynamic ending (a slow-motion giro), and you do not go off on your own to do something that has worked for you in the past. We end in a warm embrace after a sandwicho that ends with you tucked into an unexpected ending embrace as Enrique Rodriguez robs the last beat from many around us. Sometimes I am in awe and wonder. Sometimes I hold back tears. Then I turn to you and say, "You are amazing." But you say, "I just followed you." No, you (and we) were amazing together. I hope that you can believe me. ______________

P.S. If you have followed my blog, you will know that I have long resisted the analogy of "lead and follow," borrowed from ballroom dancers. But, alas, it is hard to give up this nomenclature, so expected by the community. The magic of all dance is far more complicated than any analogy to describe the dynamic in couple dancing. Once leading and following becomes more nebulous, that's when the real magic begins.

Photo credit: thorstenjanesphotography.com