Saturday, October 29, 2011

FDA Warnings on Tango

Warning:  Your stage tango may be
hazardous to my health.
Late last night to my amazement, I saw an advertisement for Argentine tango was on television.  It was wonderfully done.

The couple was all alone on the dance floor as others watched them. The camera panned across the adoring faces of those watching. Then I saw close-ups of the dancers' feet, a shot of their hands together and moments of passion expressed on their faces.  The dancers dramatically displayed well rehearsed moves that needed no lead-and-follow because they had learned patterns they had practiced over and over.

At the end of the advertisement, the tango scenes continued with wonderful moments of ecstasy and grace, but at the very end, like a new medicine advertisement, a hurried voice mentioned all the side effects that the Federal Drug Administration had required the tango industry to include:

"Side effects include loss of friends, loss of money and harm to others," the rapid-fire machinegun voice said. Without a breath he went on to say, "Many tango students report that they eventually only horrified good dancers on the social dance floor.  50% of those who buy this product report that they experienced the side effect of endangering others on the dance floor.  The other 50% were simply unaware of how much they were endangering others. Not recommended for children under 30."

Of course this was only a dream.

But I invite you to watch the faces of those new to tango, watching social tango dancers. After two seconds they are bored. But those who have bought into the the above tango-drug really can can catch everyone's eyes. The beginners are watching and hoping that they one day can do the cool moves too. But that's not all! Our stars-in-their-own mind see others too!  Tango dancers trained in emergency medicine are watching in case they are needed to help those who might become injured.  But that's not all! As seen on cable TV tango is also drawing those who . . . yes, watch cable TV, who are no entranced, watching the best B movie every made -- tango without laugh-tracks to cue the audience when something is in reality truly absurd.

Before the FDA gets involved, don't you think it is time to require a product claim for tango?  For those teachers who are selling showmanship tango for social dancers, shouldn't a side-effects warning be required? Stage Tango on the social dance floor, like all ego-enhancing drugs, should have a warning.

One must weigh the benefits against the side effects.

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Photo Credit: On the Air and In the Air Tango

1 comment:

  1. Great post. Argentine tango should come with a warning label:
    Once or terminal.And not to be confused with Ballroom Tango.


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