Our life experiences are capable of bringing us joy. But we can have a range of wonderful to tragic experiences too.
Recently a viral statement showing up on the Internet, written by two psychotherapists who claimed that tango was an addiction, a trauma, a fraud, and a loss. I have been told that authors are known to love tango and use it for psychotherapy. I contacted one of them, and asked if he really thought that tango was an addiction, a trauma, a fraud, and a loss. “No,” he wrote back, “it was an intended exaggeration.” His intent does not matter to me; my interest in this post is the following question:
WHY did calling tango “addictive, a trauma, a fraud, and a loss” go viral?
Why did so many people repost a negative and false rumor about tango? Perhaps if you or your friends found truth in the belief that tango is an addiction, a trauma, a fraud, and a loss, we all can all learn something from these strong feelings. I would say that most of us have been influenced by the modern beliefs that attempt to find addiction and trauma in nearly everything we do as human beings.
Why did so many people repost a negative and false rumor about tango? Perhaps if you or your friends found truth in the belief that tango is an addiction, a trauma, a fraud, and a loss, we all can all learn something from these strong feelings. I would say that most of us have been influenced by the modern beliefs that attempt to find addiction and trauma in nearly everything we do as human beings.
Here are some of the trends which perhaps explain the viral post. I think you have also observed some of these trends:
1. Addiction as something good (and maybe not so bad?)
Addictions are serious and devastating. Surely you have seen or heard about products that are advertised as being a video game that is (happily) “addictive.” “Buy it today! It's addicting!” Bakeries have pastries which are addictive or “orgasmic.” I hope you know that pastries are neither addictive nor orgasmic. For those who truly fighting addictions to survive, this is a slap in the face. On the other hand, those avoiding getting help will like the misuse of the words addiction or trauma. If everyone around them seems to have “addictions”--like tango dancers and people who love chocolate, they can say, “Then my problem with cocaine cannot be that bad.”
Addictions are serious and devastating. Surely you have seen or heard about products that are advertised as being a video game that is (happily) “addictive.” “Buy it today! It's addicting!” Bakeries have pastries which are addictive or “orgasmic.” I hope you know that pastries are neither addictive nor orgasmic. For those who truly fighting addictions to survive, this is a slap in the face. On the other hand, those avoiding getting help will like the misuse of the words addiction or trauma. If everyone around them seems to have “addictions”--like tango dancers and people who love chocolate, they can say, “Then my problem with cocaine cannot be that bad.”
2. Blaming addictions and traumas as an escape
I have had my heart broken, had back-stabbing colleagues at work, and have had beloved activities which fizzled out. What is very concerning to me is that we can easily fall into blaming and victimhood by calling things like love or relationships “an addiction” or “a trauma.” This allows one's experiences and perhaps obsessions and compulsions in different areas of life to become mere diagnoses and the object of blame for tough times in life. It is an unfortunate decision to call tango, love, men, women, bowling, religion your “opiate,” your drug, your addiction. (I hope you are listening, Karl Marx.)
I have had my heart broken, had back-stabbing colleagues at work, and have had beloved activities which fizzled out. What is very concerning to me is that we can easily fall into blaming and victimhood by calling things like love or relationships “an addiction” or “a trauma.” This allows one's experiences and perhaps obsessions and compulsions in different areas of life to become mere diagnoses and the object of blame for tough times in life. It is an unfortunate decision to call tango, love, men, women, bowling, religion your “opiate,” your drug, your addiction. (I hope you are listening, Karl Marx.)
3. Tango is just fun. Dance is unique to human beings. It is more than fun. The person or culture that does not dance lacks an important human experience of survival. Feel sorry for the person who does not dance. Perhaps, another example will help to explain. Self-expression in words is also unique to human beings. Self-expression is more than fun. The person or culture that does not allow self-expression through words, such as in North Korean, might dance, but that person is likely prohibited from self-expression in words. Dance and verbal self-expression are unique to humans. Both are survival and coping behaviors for people to endure difficult times and also celebrate wonderful times. Tango and dance in general is capable of helping people get through life or even find ecstasy while dancing alone or with others. Don't make dance a scapegoat for the dramas of life that sometime come along in the course of being human.
Tango helps me to experience a range of feelings from ecstasy to sorrow. May our dancing and life experiences tend towards ecstasy and happiness. In this new year, may you not have any addictions, traumas, acts of frauds against you, or tragic losses. If you do, I hope that a warm embrace tango community helps you through these tragedies towards triumph.
PS: For those interested in the scientific definition and even a research article on tango and addiction, continue reading.
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"Argentine tango: Another behavioral addiction?" (an NIH research article)
Because many people are sure that tango is to be blamed as addictive, below I am including a clinical article which researched the possibility that tango was another of a growing list of "behavioral addictions." The National Institute of Health article, in my opinion, was clearly looking for something that was absurd. Yet, the researchers found that "tango dancing could lead to dependence . . . . However, this dependence [was found to be] associated with marked and sustained positive effection whilst the negative [effects] are few." In other words, it is not addictive. The clinical study found that most subjects of the study were positively impacted by tango. Cocaine use, gambling, and other things known addictive behaviors--by definition-- do not to lead to positive outcomes among those involved with addictive substances or behaviors.
Diagnostic Criteria
What are the all the necessary criteria for a diagnosis of addiction? Don't play doctor, get a professional before you self-diagnose yourself. You must have a majority of these criteria, and especially criteria 5 and 7. A good way to look at these criteria is to compare your relationship with those you deeply love, especially children, which is a normal "preoccupation." You may have an inability to stop loving them, and the feeling of “withdrawal symptoms” when away from your children.
Photo credit: The man who helped the quote go viral-- https://www.facebook.com/milo.radulovic -- quoting the authors, Igor Zabuta & Emma Kologrivova.
What are the all the necessary criteria for a diagnosis of addiction? Don't play doctor, get a professional before you self-diagnose yourself. You must have a majority of these criteria, and especially criteria 5 and 7. A good way to look at these criteria is to compare your relationship with those you deeply love, especially children, which is a normal "preoccupation." You may have an inability to stop loving them, and the feeling of “withdrawal symptoms” when away from your children.
The criteria for behavioral addiction help professionals identify problematic behaviors. These criteria are outlined in the DSM-5, a manual for diagnosing mental disorders. Here are the key diagnostic criteria for behavioral addiction:
- Preoccupation: Individuals with behavioral addiction intensely focus on engaging in the addictive behavior. They spend a significant amount of time thinking about it and planning future activities related to it.
- Loss of control: People with behavioral addiction struggle to control their engagement in the addictive behavior. They make unsuccessful attempts to cut back or stop.
- Withdrawal symptoms: When unable to engage in the addictive behavior, individuals with behavioral addiction may experience restlessness, irritability, and anxiety.
- Tolerance: Over time, individuals with behavioral addiction may require more of the behavior to achieve the same level of satisfaction or pleasure. This can lead to increased engagement in the behavior.
- Negative consequences: Behavioral addiction often results in negative consequences in relationships, work, and other areas.
- Inability to stop: Despite recognizing the negative consequences, individuals with behavioral addiction find it challenging to stop. They feel a strong compulsion to continue, despite the harm it causes.
- Interference with daily life: Behavioral addiction can significantly interfere with a person’s daily functioning, disrupting routines and overall well-being.
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