The power of the Mirada

A continuing dialogue about leading and following...                          Romanian translation

The eyes are more powerful than the nodding of a head.   

Translated, using tango terminology, the same sentence is:  

"The mirada is more powerful than the cabeceo."

Traditionally tango dancers say that the cabeceo [the nod of the head] is what the man does and the woman, the mirada [the look].  I never understood the concept of these two terms having anything to do with one's gender, and in practice, women nod and men can respond to a woman's inviting smile by coming to her with continued eye contact.  I don't want to be left out of the power of the mirada.  Simple eye contact and nothing else has no second in non-verbal communication.  I want to use the mirada's magical power too!

"Magical power?" 

You think I am kidding, right?  Pediatric developmental research has long indicated the importance of a lot of eye contact with children in order for them to develop normally.  Very negative things happen in our development if our caretakers give us little or no eye contact.  More recently, the New York Times reported on the new "flurry" of research on eye contact.  The lastest new study was from

Violet tango, or just the blues?

Is tango just a little too depressive?  Too blue?  

I have heard people say this, but I do not think so at all.  It's best to be a little bit more careful with the colors on your palette than to paint tango all blue.   Try violet, for example.  Let me explain:

Tango music can sound upbeat and happy, but then if you learn the meaning of the Spanish lyrics, you can be surprised by how sad they are at times.  Sometime even the music and the lyrics both seem like just a Spanish version of the blues.   Maybe learning Spanish can be hazardous to your emotional well-being?  Well, not really.

I am going suggest a different frame of this picture of sadness or melancholy that may be helpful, but first a story: