tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80352440625208325832024-03-18T23:48:00.784-04:00Tango TherapistReflections on the powerfully therapeutic "Four M's" of Argentine Tango:
Music, Movement, eMbrace, and MindfulnessTango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comBlogger432125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-12988924839229175922024-01-10T11:59:00.003-05:002024-01-10T11:59:49.020-05:00Maybe tango is not Changing. You Are.<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZ4lksdP1qz5uQ_n3qHPuGZPwmcbCTtj7MjLeTnCDbQRZkOJ6yZYP2mT5pkwesWUftj_jKuKQZ5Vexg36OrIGkJItP2N0XdKFwPtrFcjaZfpYaLLWZEAkIsf65XxIj2a2tyQkKkbEO47hupngoQeL794e6X-l5GTgeBFLMVblvy4uJvJTq9AqsJFrdSs/s500/Stages-of-Change-500x375.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="375" data-original-width="500" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhDZ4lksdP1qz5uQ_n3qHPuGZPwmcbCTtj7MjLeTnCDbQRZkOJ6yZYP2mT5pkwesWUftj_jKuKQZ5Vexg36OrIGkJItP2N0XdKFwPtrFcjaZfpYaLLWZEAkIsf65XxIj2a2tyQkKkbEO47hupngoQeL794e6X-l5GTgeBFLMVblvy4uJvJTq9AqsJFrdSs/s320/Stages-of-Change-500x375.png" width="320" /></a></div> <p></p><p></p><p><span><span><span style="font-size: large;">Is tango changing</span> in ways you don't like? <br /><br />In my practice as a therapist, I have a new way to help people be "resilient." The easy way to say this word is simply, "willing to change." And the motto is, "Change more than the world around you changes." The person who does this adapts and is resilient. <br /><br />How does this apply to maintaining your love for tango? Simply "change more than the world around you changes."<br /><br />So many people give up something because their loved activity changes. "I don't dance anymore because __________. Does tango need to change, or is it more about us? Or does one really think that that the world won't change? Either way, tango and dance are so precious, being able to adapt becomes a very important skill for any growing and vibrant human soul.</span></span></p><p><span>Here's an example. <br /><br /><b>Outward change </b>(or perception): Let's say I say, "DJ's just don't know what they are doing anymore."<br /></span><span><b>Reality:</b> I have gotten better at knowing the orchestras, and have danced at milongas that have had great DJ's. I have developed and changed; not tango. But more knowledge is the easy change. My attitude and grumpiness are growing toxic, perhaps? If so, change is needed.<br /></span><span>Needed change in oneself: <i>Leaning tolerance. People are learning to be better. Avoid being a snob. Find the best in the music. Connect better to your partner. Be kind. Be social. Being more of a connoisseur is the easier change. </i></span></p><p><span>I can identify many things that I can change. Why not work on them instead of worrying about the things I cannot change?</span></p><p><span>Let me introduce to you a powerful change theory that many therapists use: It's called Motivational Interviewing (MI). <i>MI helps change harmful behaviors, <b>whereas advice, education, and knowledge are mostly ineffective</b>.</i> That is the paradox of being human: We know something is not good for us, but cannot find it in us to stop this self-harm. We often find it worthless to castigate ourselves. When others nag us to change our self-harm behavior may become worse. MI helps people stop alcohol, drugs, tobacco, toxic relationships, and of course, harmful habits that are paired with dance.</span></p><p><span>Here are a few things that I need to change or in the past needed to change in my tango life:<br /></span></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span>Complaining mentally about others whom I perceive as being rude on the dance floor.</span></li><li><span>Mentally complaining about DJs who are not skilled.</span></li><li><span>Dancing without drinking enough water or resting enough.<br /><br />Two things have changed completely: </span></li><li><span>Staying out late to dance during the week and suffering sleep deprivation the next day. </span></li><li><span>Eating unhealthy things at the milonga or drinking alcohol.</span></li></ul><span><span><b>I am NOT suggesting you change anything. :-) </b>Asking someone to change generally does not work for therapists, parents, teachers, and between spouses! But nearly all of us can work on something that <i>we</i> want to change. Think of what you would like to change. In my next post, I will add more info about Motivational Interviewing and how effective parents, teachers, and spouses help others to change. You will be able to apply it to all aspects of your life.<br /><br />Add comments, if you like, to identify how you changed in a way that helped you stay active as a dancing being.<br /></span></span><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span><br /></span></span></div><div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>______________________</span></span></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-64851284356647162822023-05-29T03:00:00.001-04:002023-05-29T03:00:52.845-04:00The Timeless Tanda and Dopamine<p> Reading time: 3 minutes</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHb-CMXHpho-D2_352hnn5MfRNrIyGW5WGj9hVGB-GbgCnaqzZbSoVWUqIAzpSBL3_aJ1g09rd4OsLm7uSYBbDGJss5wlxezaCySN5NnSt1dJutHCqjph-HcTB8H9zEWspsD7unL7CjlvbJDWrS7YZwASp1SeqpWMOB4ZAd5svoD981uG6f0VkqPYR/s700/flow-Uplift-Connect-.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="368" data-original-width="700" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHb-CMXHpho-D2_352hnn5MfRNrIyGW5WGj9hVGB-GbgCnaqzZbSoVWUqIAzpSBL3_aJ1g09rd4OsLm7uSYBbDGJss5wlxezaCySN5NnSt1dJutHCqjph-HcTB8H9zEWspsD7unL7CjlvbJDWrS7YZwASp1SeqpWMOB4ZAd5svoD981uG6f0VkqPYR/s320/flow-Uplift-Connect-.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Tango helps me understand "flow."</span> With the help of advances in neurology, scientists are starting to map what is going on when people get into a sense of flow, also called "living in the now." Wouldn't it be interesting if scientists danced tango? I think they would better understand what it means <i>from experience </i>what the flow state truly feels like.<br /><br />Flow, as I experience it, is the ongoing sense of well-being and joy. Flow has us performing well and for long periods of time in such things as playing sports, playing music, dancing, or whatever brings us pleasure. From experiencing flow in tango, being a musician and also meditating, I try to find flow even in my work, which has a lot of unnecessary paperwork. I tell myself, "Just be present!" When I do, it often leads to enhanced performance and joy--a flow state--even in things that I had been avoiding.<br /><br />So what is the opposite of flow?<br /><br />Addiction. It has peaks of highs followed by widened valleys of lows.</p><p>According to the neurologist and blogger Dr. Huberman, addiction is the progressive narrowing of things that give one pleasure. If he is right, I then would say that the "extreme opposite" of addiction is flow: <b>The progressive ability to widen the spectrum of things that give pleasure</b>. It is when the simple things of life give pleasure.</p><p>Unfortunately, we can pursue tango in such a way that ruins this potential of being in the flow by making our dance pleasure more and more <i>narrowed and focused on only the highs of tango</i>--shifting the focus of the dance to mostly external stimuli. This makes tango take on the traits of addictive behavior.</p><p>Whatever the activity is, including yoga, sports, music, art, and dance, <b><i>flow</i></b> is the state in which we do not have lows and highs of dopamine in our blood. Instead, there is a higher yet moderate sine wave of dopamine release that does not go too high or too low. </p><p>Maybe you experience the same things I do while in the "tango flow." Tango flow happens when...</p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I am dancing totally conscious of the music, totally immersed--time stands still or seems to disappear.</li><li>I am focused on my partner and my own body's response to the music, not "performing" for those watching.</li><li>As a part of the flow, I prepared for the event by learning and growing my ability to dance well.</li><li>I have slept well as my desire to have my enjoyment of tango tied to well-being.</li><li>I have enjoyed eating in a healthy way.</li><li>I develop wonderful friendships from the world of tango.</li><li>I avoid all activities that might take away from my health (and tango skills), such as tobacco use, too much alcohol, and drug use.</li><li>I search for the eyes of those who enjoy dancing and truly want to dance with me and not for the purpose of showing off to the crowd.</li><li>I participate in the larger part of dancing tango--being with friends and socializing.</li><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEqAxbE_qPHduIheM7H9bDN2Q5IZh2FV3OU_W_Ob2pQLCKfzHZcDD3CK8oS-Q5CW1R-sHjpDixae974AOPxH-wFNqAEPf_i5BQBDbTAqbsrAEu0HMZaGn9UDx2xw4I8jykZScLG6h7dGFDVHUp8IfbWt1P_VnGlHOxYa0cRHqL-FJ2AthTdPF3v4yE/s810/Tango%20bliss.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: right;"><img border="0" data-original-height="540" data-original-width="810" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEqAxbE_qPHduIheM7H9bDN2Q5IZh2FV3OU_W_Ob2pQLCKfzHZcDD3CK8oS-Q5CW1R-sHjpDixae974AOPxH-wFNqAEPf_i5BQBDbTAqbsrAEu0HMZaGn9UDx2xw4I8jykZScLG6h7dGFDVHUp8IfbWt1P_VnGlHOxYa0cRHqL-FJ2AthTdPF3v4yE/w180-h120/Tango%20bliss.jpg" width="180" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">Pure joy. The timeless tanda.</span></td></tr></tbody></table></ul>Luckily, <b>flow</b> for most people dancing tango is not at all rare! Generally, I think that the majority of people love tango because it easily gets them into a state of flow. We are a large proportion of tango dancers. We try to dance and time stops, or at least, our orientation to time is radically altered. And when it is all over, we feel a glow that keeps going and going. We experience the ever-widening things that lead us to a life filled with joy.<p></p><p><br /></p><p><br /></p><p><br />For a scientific view of flow, read the following scientific article on the subject: <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7551835/">https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7551835/</a></p><p>Photo credit and more on flow states: <a href="https://snowbrains.com/the-brain-science-behind-flow-states/">https://snowbrains.com/the-brain-science-behind-flow-states/</a></p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-17301409031784716042022-12-31T06:55:00.002-05:002023-01-14T08:07:49.628-05:00New Year's Resolution for Self-Esteem in Tango<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHpeeP-OtDK_1LrJ9MTcPi12GhRVy5ierd-TMUg9Ol7oM9N-OJmxv1VBgxyc4ux_9AZoRq94Dvlznp6dg_OJ2gKHCusbL8g_xw6k9CD0MWV7o_KKyC9qBexdPGwDF5aF8TELGtY00yO4xK2onzDAu76tfEmUubz3NJkt5s3BxrPvEpvYEnS4D-KyJk/s588/2023%20new%20years.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="330" data-original-width="588" height="180" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgHpeeP-OtDK_1LrJ9MTcPi12GhRVy5ierd-TMUg9Ol7oM9N-OJmxv1VBgxyc4ux_9AZoRq94Dvlznp6dg_OJ2gKHCusbL8g_xw6k9CD0MWV7o_KKyC9qBexdPGwDF5aF8TELGtY00yO4xK2onzDAu76tfEmUubz3NJkt5s3BxrPvEpvYEnS4D-KyJk/s320/2023%20new%20years.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">On New Year's Eve, </span><span>the woman at the cash register</span> asked if I would be doing something special for New Year's Eve. <br /><br />I said, "My wife and I are dancers. I will dance in my living room, and then go to bed at about 10pm. <b><i>Vertical tango is for the day; horizontal tango is for the night</i></b>." <br /><br />She laughed. "I will tell my husband that!" I gathered my receipt and started to leave. She called out with a big smile. "Happy New Year!" <br /><br />"Thanks, happy New Year!" I said with a wave.<br /><br />I rarely go to <i>late</i> tango events. Especially on New Year's Eve. I don't have to drive on the most dangerous night of the year. It's good to take care of myself in this way. <br /><br />Also, I am working on my self-esteem.<br /><br />Let me explain that. As a therapist, I gain so much when I have an idea for a patient because I apply the idea to my own life. In my practice as a therapist, I truly practice. Since 2018, I have noticed an epidemic of low self-esteem. It's actually a pandemic. Worldwide, suicide rates are up and low self-esteem is driving that car off the cliff. Therapists use different techniques to help people with low self-esteem. Most interventions don't work very fast or at all. Talk, talk, talk. Something that works, I have found is really quite simple, and explains the title, "New Year's Eve and Self-Esteem": </p><p><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Operationalize self-esteem</b></span><br />What do people with <i>healthy</i>* self-esteem do? <b>A person who takes care of themselves <i>more than anyone else </i>can take better care of others. This is the proof of self-esteem. </b> On the other hand, the person with low self-esteem often takes care of others, but not themselves. In my experience with patient with low self-esteem, I notice that women and girls tend to take care of others, but not themselves. Men and boys tend to show a lack of self-esteem by acting out -- drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, driving fast, staying out late, and partying a lot. Both men and women can do these acting-out behaviors, of course, but the one thing they really have in common is<i> poor eating habits and not sleeping enough</i>. </p><p>So this is the way I show self-care as a dancer. I prefer to go to milongas that start early. I most often go to wonderful events all over Europe, but in order to get the <i>most</i> out of the weekend, I dance for hours during all the early milongas, sleep, and get up to enjoy the town I am visiting. I may go to a later milonga, but often leave before it gets too late. Those who dance all milongas until the end will be the first to say that their feet are abused, their bodies are abused, and they are exhausted. My dear friends tend to look exhausted too. <i>Why didn't I figure this out earlier? </i> It's ingenious! I'm not so smart. I just learned it from a moment of inspiration to help a struggling patient. It has changed my life. I take care of myself. In taking care of yourself, you will be better at taking care of those under your care at work or those you love. Dress well; eat well; sleep well; make yourself safe (driving habits for example); exercise well; be kind to yourself and others; express yourself in a kind but honest way; be present and enjoy your senses; seek wisdom; connect with your world. <br /><br />That is why <b><i>vertical tango is for the day; horizontal tango is for the night</i></b>.<br /><br />Happy New Year. Maybe we have here a simple but powerful resolution for <i>next year?</i> Let's take even better care of ourselves? </p><p>*Healthy self-esteem: The anti-social person, the narcissist, the psychopath (etcetera) take care of themselves, but harm or neglect others. <br /><br />Photo credit: Houston <a href="https://www.click2houston.com/features/2022/12/15/houston-new-years-eve-events-23-ways-to-welcome-2023/" target="_blank">KPRC</a>. <br /><br /><br /><br />_______________________//////////////________________________<br /><br /><b>More about self-esteem if you are interested. <br /></b>Go ahead and look up low self-esteem from Dr. Google. Most guides and ideas are overly intellectual. Simplify to one question: <i> Are you taking care of yourself?</i> Most self-esteem treatments are all about self-talk and belief. Go ahead and talk to yourself and build yourself up. I'm afraid that your mind will not believe all the nice things you tell yourself. Take care of yourself first, and watch the inner dialogue change. Would you believe others when you don''t feel taken care of but hear others say "I love you. You are wonderful"? Talk is cheap. So why would your inner dialogue convince you to have more self-esteem? </p><p>Here's something Dr. Google suggested to me in a graph that makes gaining self-esteem nearly impossible to the one who is struggling:</p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJtW6tX1MqS4qHi5xC_M_mrMZ552q5IEc1BhXAkdpQh9GlJ8W8giIQEUeF4-0svwDHiHRhauOUNy-2HXOF6iiq6UxQXNhLoLyCU6Rc8OW1C5OtdznG0xomiC4AkC3Tva6kRyccsX2DnbLyL6T6g3d9YE52syki2BlkIzTdOhgDBu_Lvf6SHaNTeHEd/s768/low_self-esteem_symptoms_2480x1726_optim-768x535.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="535" data-original-width="768" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJtW6tX1MqS4qHi5xC_M_mrMZ552q5IEc1BhXAkdpQh9GlJ8W8giIQEUeF4-0svwDHiHRhauOUNy-2HXOF6iiq6UxQXNhLoLyCU6Rc8OW1C5OtdznG0xomiC4AkC3Tva6kRyccsX2DnbLyL6T6g3d9YE52syki2BlkIzTdOhgDBu_Lvf6SHaNTeHEd/w404-h282/low_self-esteem_symptoms_2480x1726_optim-768x535.png" width="404" /></a></div><br /><p><br />I found this at <a href="Self-Esteem explained" target="_blank">https://www.psychologytools.com/self-help/low-self-esteem/ </a></p><p><br />The diagram here is all about how wrong and bad you are to yourself. There is no solution here. This list is mostly untouchable things and these elements are overly focused on inner beliefs. Again, the one simple solution is "take better care of yourself <i>better han anyone else</i>." Those around you will learn from you (like your children). The Golden Rule is not enough ("Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.") For self-esteem it is reversed in what I call the Platinum Rule: "Love and take care of yourself that you may better love and take care of others." <br /><br /><b>A wonderful guilt trip (to get you going)**</b><br />Are you a father or a mother with low self-esteem? Your children will inherit this stinky stuff. So, the buck stops with us. It's our work. We do the work. We take care of ourselves. Our children then can go on with their lives without being suicidal and depressed from low self-esteem.<br /><br />**Sorry about the guilt trip for now. It's better to have guilt now than for a lifetime. Take care of yourself!</p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-10045747086859375552022-11-28T14:26:00.002-05:002022-12-17T03:55:46.888-05:00Who is the King of the Milonga?<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJfV3-tGEFhBJpbQkG0qW3EJjaX7RoYszVbgKvn0PBjbc15woWW80gM-aJIc45D43VKtlWq-TRP4SlpwjUz2BlW8vEX8hox6RSEIzIayiVtIoPC_Kk9X3-oqDuBNmliEQAilLWkKS7npDMw9-k9Jal-2W-rzXaihe7esVKtCEmHW4jhZLWDJJUmsbA/s670/Tango%20customers%20as%20KING.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="335" data-original-width="670" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhJfV3-tGEFhBJpbQkG0qW3EJjaX7RoYszVbgKvn0PBjbc15woWW80gM-aJIc45D43VKtlWq-TRP4SlpwjUz2BlW8vEX8hox6RSEIzIayiVtIoPC_Kk9X3-oqDuBNmliEQAilLWkKS7npDMw9-k9Jal-2W-rzXaihe7esVKtCEmHW4jhZLWDJJUmsbA/w400-h200/Tango%20customers%20as%20KING.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><span><span style="font-size: x-large;">If you know a bit about chess</span>, you might have noticed that the chess piece pictured above is not really the king but a pawn. The cliché that customers are kings is simply not the best business model for many endeavors, and certainly not good for tango events. Customers sometimes at times need to be thrown out of the store!<br /><br />Tango organizers have <i>many important social relationships</i>, and many people to please--not just dance customers who may see themselves as all-important. Organizers have to have good relationships with volunteers, paid staff, DJs, the building owner, neighbors, and perhaps even the city.</span><p></p><p><span>The organizer, just like us pawns with crowns, can only move one space at a time. However, in chess, the king must move only one space at a time but in all directions. Those eight directions for the king are the relationships surrounding the organizer. </span></p><p><span>What <i>kind </i>of king do you have at the event you go to? An autocrat? Won't listen? Or are your favorite events run by someone who listens to sound counsel all, as all good leaders do? Are they active or passive? </span></p><p><b>There's a"dance" of organizers with customers</b><br />My hat is off to tango event organizers. They most often are doing what they do because they have certain organizational skills, love people, and love the dance. How do we, as customers/dancer follow their lead? Well, not very well if they are not good leaders. In Buenos Aires and any well-organized milonga, organizers are checking on customers, DJs, volunteers/staff with <i><b>active</b></i> oversight and supervision of how things are going. They are navigating how things should go--especially on the dance floor--and keeping things on course. Customers want to feel safe and at home, and that takes good leadership. Are we following a good lead? Do we stop going to an event without even seeing if the organizer will listen to our concerns when things are not going well?</p><p><b><span style="font-size: medium;">This is what I notice of events that are truly well organized--</span></b></p><p><b>Organizers create a sense of the feeling of home, taking care of these six <i>basic needs:</i> </b></p><ul><li><b>Temperature: </b> Is it too hot or cold? As simple as this may seem, every customer has a different "need." But men can take on jackets if they are too cold. Women should not have to look like Eskimos so that men can wear T-shirts. I suggest temperature changes only when I see women who are obviously too cold (usually at overly airconditioned US milongas).</li><li><b>Water</b>: I immediately look for hydration. I get cramps if I don't drink a lot. Can I hydrate easily and at a reasonable price (or for free)? My favorite ongoing milonga is <i>Flores</i> in Mannheim, Germany. They have free water, and a nice bar if you want other drinks.</li><li><b>Food:</b> The best milongas have either some basic goodies out or a bar that serves food for a reasonable price. That's what hosts do. An early milonga after work, perhaps on Friday, needs something to eat. A wise organizer charges extra if people will be coming hungry, which is better than not being aware of basic needs as a host. Christian in Regensburg is especially keen on hosting a milonga with finger food.</li><li><b>Safety (Traffic control):</b> <b>Wise organizers know<a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2012/04/tango-etiquette-pocket-sized-version.html" target="_blank"> dance etiquette</a></b><a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2012/04/tango-etiquette-pocket-sized-version.html" target="_blank"> (<i>los codigos</i>) </a>and redirect rouge and dangerous dancers. Also, wise organizers create a good traffic flow by having at least four entry points to the dance floor. Milonga traffic control causes less frustration and is where organizers can shine. Customers who think of themselves as kings of the dance floor are usually the very people who need to be sent home, as is done in Buenos Aires.</li><li><b>Sleep:</b> Paying attention to sleep is a wise business decision. Starting earlier allows people to travel to your milonga from farther away without reserving a hotel. <a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2021/10/are-early-milongas-bad-business-decision.html" target="_blank">Organizers who advertise well in advance that the milonga starts earlier <i><b>and ends</b> earlier </i>are astonished</a> by how their attendance goes up. Also, more organizers are paying attention to a general public understanding of <a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2019/06/tangos-worst-health-risk.html" target="_blank">good sleep discipline and the circadian rhythm</a>. Presently, I simply do not go to late events. I state my preference and have helped enact huge changes in some cities. I believe if organizers would only attempt earlier times, they would see an increase in business. But change is hard for some, or even impossible because of the building contract.</li><li><b>The need to communicate: </b> This basic need is a bit more complicated than one might think. It has three parts: The ability to hear at a milonga, the ability to listen by being silent, and the ability to speak. <br /> > <b>Hearing:</b> Could you imagine if the organizer had a single small speaker at an event and you couldn't hear well? Now, imagine being deaf as a permanent condition <i>because</i> of going deaf early from micro-damage from multiple events with loud music? Unfortunately, nearly every organizer I know is not taking charge of protecting the hearing of his or her customers. <a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2012/11/dj-self-assessment-card.html" target="_blank">A good organizer has an app that monitors decibels and requires that DJs do the same</a>. Constantly being over 100 decibels is harmful to hearing. Because of passive organizers, I often wear earplugs made <i>for</i> DJs, but of course, I wear them <i>because</i> of DJs! We shouldn't have to.<br /> > <b>Listening/being silent:</b> Communicating social etiquette throughout life sometimes means remaining silent more than 50% of the time in order to listen before responding. The listening/silence percentage could be as much as 95% at a milonga because we are mostly listening to the orchestra--or so one would think.<br /> > <b>Speaking:</b> In tango, we request and accept dances without talking; we don't talk while dancing; empathetic guests don't talk while standing next to the dance floor (and organizers watch for this and redirect people conversing while standing next to the dancefloor). Is your favorite organizer actively taking care of this part of a milonga's ambiance?</li></ul><p><span style="font-size: large;">Organizers are amazing people. </span><span>They need your support by being fair and diplomatic about what would make their milonga or even better. </span> But if you do not speak up and give good counsel to your organizers, then their precious event may slowly die out. They need our help.</p><p><br /></p><p>Please add other ideas in the comments or email me at <a href="mailto:mark.word1@gmail.com">mark.word1@gmail.com</a> if you have trouble making a comment. <br /><br /></p><p>Photo credit: Great photo of chess board. Please read the excellent article, challenging <a href="https://blogs.lse.ac.uk/businessreview/2017/02/03/is-the-customer-king/" target="_blank">"the customer is king" myth</a>."</p><p><br /></p><p></p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-67236441451886484852022-10-02T06:19:00.006-04:002022-10-05T13:10:24.296-04:00Buy Some Tango Burnout Insurance<p> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC52Pn76GvvtMpoFESviCm4BW3ACvcChhNG7EilWL9IdsjjYk4jXwmT-77_kkiucyoRW808TvZye8_N4s2cr7K9QkDH-S_HpO5RcN6mjpGVGJHhCqrn4eT2Oqz2hm4bQcyzsYERW0vpAxOOJGnrJM5620IMKTNemKnNnK2Jnx7obeJw4dRc9rKBSqo/s1620/IMG_2359.PNG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1080" data-original-width="1620" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiC52Pn76GvvtMpoFESviCm4BW3ACvcChhNG7EilWL9IdsjjYk4jXwmT-77_kkiucyoRW808TvZye8_N4s2cr7K9QkDH-S_HpO5RcN6mjpGVGJHhCqrn4eT2Oqz2hm4bQcyzsYERW0vpAxOOJGnrJM5620IMKTNemKnNnK2Jnx7obeJw4dRc9rKBSqo/w400-h266/IMG_2359.PNG" width="400" /></a></p><p><span style="font-size: x-large;">Burnout Insurance.</span> I suggest buying some tango burnout insurance. There are only two steps. First, assess how much you value tango. Step two, figure out at least the most likely risks of giving up because of tango burnout.</p><p>1. <b>Assessing the value of dance:</b> Even if tango-burnout insurance would cost a lot (it doesn't), it would be worth every bit of money and energy needed to buy it. The valuation I give dance is "PRICELESS." Dancing contains my humanity as a dancing, social animal. That is what all humans are. I feel fully alive when I dance. As babies, music <i>made</i> you and me dance even in our cribs without instruction before we could speak, before we could do math or make tools, and <i>all other uniquely human things.</i> The assessment for me is now over. I need insurance for something invaluable. Now, step two. . . .</p><p>2. <b>The main risks of dance burnout:</b> Make your own list. The below risk list are the things that would burn me out. </p><p></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Over-use: </b> Dancing too much causes bodily problems, and looks like an obsession (some call it an addiction). I learned this as an iron-distance triathlete. I saw too many burned-out and broken athletes from an accumulation of undetected "micro-injuries." Athletes and dancers burn out when they become obsessed with events and over-training. Obsessions and addictions too often end badly.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Not getting enough sleep: </b> Burnout is sometimes 100% somatic, not psychological! In the past, I even felt burned out at work from tango-induced sleep deprivation. Even our beloved passion can follow if we aren't careful. The body's immune system is degraded as much as 50% after not getting enough sleep after just one night at a 3-day event. The second and third days of a weekend event create a health risk for those who are not sleeping enough. I continue dancing in a post-pandemic world because social contact makes our immune system stronger--<i>but only when we sleep enough.<br /> </i></li><li><b>Being a complainer: </b> I am working on not being a complainer. The best way to practice this is in two parts. Accept the things which I cannot change (most everything), and change those things that I can. <br /> > I used to complain about the DJ playing too much D'Arienzo (for example); now we make a list of DJ's to avoid. <br /> > Or I would complain that the music was constantly over 100 decibels; so I now wear expensive earplugs. <br /> >Or I would complain about crazy-ass floorcraft, or too many women sitting, or people at all levels of experience who don't know basic tango etiquette. So now I go to encuentros mostly. <br /> >Or complain that I didn't get accepted into an encuentro. (And I have done this.) Go to a milonga and dance with all those who are not being invited. I have found some of my favorite dancers this way. It's humbling. Secondly, go register for another encuentro.<br /><b>So don't burn yourself out. </b>There will always be something to complain about, even the weather in heaven. Everyone has a very different list. But I realize that incessant complaining leads to burnout too. <i>This is the main burn-out risk for me--being a complainer.</i> So I have made this my spiritual path that I be more tolerant when I must live with things just the way they are.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Getting too old ("I am getting too old for this shit"): </b> The body gets old and death is the ultimate burnout. Some people, however, dance until they die. This is what I am planning to do; so I dance alone every day. Let's say it is too hard for me to drive a long way to a milonga. Let's say one day I decide not to go to milonga anymore because the tangueras are now 213 centimeters tall on average (7 feet), or whatever the excuse. Dance is dance--alone or with others. I used to get up and walk at least a little every hour. Now instead, I get up regularly from my desk and dance instead of merely walking around. <b>This is my <i>very best Tango Burnout Insurance.</i></b> So I highly recommend, for example, playing a Canaro milonga* (given below) and dancing in your office or kitchen. I am already getting lots of practice and ideas while dancing alone just for the pure joy of it.</li></ul><p></p><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>So many before me have burned out</b></span> <b>and disappeared </b>from the tango scene. I run into them at the grocery store, and they tell me, "There is more to life than tango." I want to say, <i>"You don't miss pure, ecstatic childlike joy?" </i>I am pretty certain they did not think they needed Tango Burnout Insurance. Look around. People die burned out, unhappy, and without any passion because of this failure to assess what is important in life. I remember as a teen, my parents would say every once in a while that their wish was to die with their boots on. My parents stayed active until they died "with their boots on." But I do not wish to follow in their boots. I hope to be wearing dance shoes.<div><div><br /><div><br /></div><div>Photo credit: Peter Neumeier. Sybille and Mark in heaven without dying.<br /><i>Esmeraldas Encuentro, Austria Germany 2022.<br /></i><br />*Grab a broom and dance.<br /><br /></div>
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; clipboard-write; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/LWQBs9IraFE" title="YouTube video player" width="560"></iframe></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-7970631352522551332022-08-13T09:48:00.004-04:002022-08-15T08:26:36.436-04:00The Dancer who was Raised as a Dog<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKMEgm4NpgrnFZNBs7qdUdR3Fc_8UIeuQI9ODpZYvUV-_e82R6ICkHb9Ov075ekgnRzx5f8Nn5bH34flcbGde5PzLOKM4d571PNZuCzNYijwSxnND8rX0L_PZSqHxpzy0-8pR2_gZQZl9ul9QPjcNlTypyD2u41ay3nntyJCBOP5mcV_8bliIEeeiu/s500/The%20boy%20who%20was%20raised%20as%20a%20dog%20audio%20book.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="500" data-original-width="500" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKMEgm4NpgrnFZNBs7qdUdR3Fc_8UIeuQI9ODpZYvUV-_e82R6ICkHb9Ov075ekgnRzx5f8Nn5bH34flcbGde5PzLOKM4d571PNZuCzNYijwSxnND8rX0L_PZSqHxpzy0-8pR2_gZQZl9ul9QPjcNlTypyD2u41ay3nntyJCBOP5mcV_8bliIEeeiu/w400-h400/The%20boy%20who%20was%20raised%20as%20a%20dog%20audio%20book.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9I2gp3S6p4X0dDTvGMA9mnVf1WCEK_P4O8LABNuJ9L_AnW5ITcbCD-KIy4OVn79-eYaWR6JJ6586-N9NZw2va24LWU0xBZm4JgvNvi6Nz5dgnLlkWZp8WYIgYrGK1Cy8v8eNOmqB48hCAozZurDROxI8NulgEy2EjZxnrvAHueJchSker8O1Zw0yu/s562/Dancer%20who%20was%20raised%20as%20a%20dog%20summary.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="253" data-original-width="562" height="144" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9I2gp3S6p4X0dDTvGMA9mnVf1WCEK_P4O8LABNuJ9L_AnW5ITcbCD-KIy4OVn79-eYaWR6JJ6586-N9NZw2va24LWU0xBZm4JgvNvi6Nz5dgnLlkWZp8WYIgYrGK1Cy8v8eNOmqB48hCAozZurDROxI8NulgEy2EjZxnrvAHueJchSker8O1Zw0yu/s320/Dancer%20who%20was%20raised%20as%20a%20dog%20summary.png" width="320" /></a></div><span style="font-size: large;"><br />In the book, "The Boy who was Raised as a Dog," </span>I learned more about the neurological effects of neglect on children's brains as seen by MRI's. I think it has an underlying message for dancers.<p></p>The author found that one of the ways to help neglected and abused children was through rhythm and music therapy. I wonder how many of us are finding tango as a way to help us better live in the world. Could it be? Read on.<br /><br />The book made me wonder how many of us were raised as a dog--if not by parents then perhaps years of often neglectful and abusive education. We learn to sit in rows and raise our paw before barking out what we hope is the right answer. In some countries now or in earlier times, many of us "dogs" have been beaten for getting answers wrong or misbehaving. We often are unsafe at school or in our dangerous neighborhoods. Also, certain cultures wean us from dancing and touching and playing. Howling (singing) is often forbidden or shamed for those of us raised as a dog. <p></p><p>Dr. Bruce Perry dedicated his life to helping neglected and abused children. He took MRI pictures of their brains. Areas of their limbic brain, the emotional center of the brain, were missing or underdeveloped. Spinal fluid filled in the space where brain matter should have been. As a result, some children grow up to have no feelings of remorse and can be very dangerous sociopaths as teens or adults. As a dancer and therapist, I was fascinated by therapies that work for neglected children. Dr. Bruce Perry, came up with several techniques, or treatment modalities to help these neglected children develop their brains to have a more fulfilling life. Behavioralists and psychotherapists were against his ideas at first. Their therapies, however, don't work. Perry's do.</p><p>Some of these may speak to your experience. How has tango changed your life, and why are you drawn to tango?</p><p>Is tango your "therapy" to deal with the past and present in your life?</p><p>I can say "yes" to these questions for myself. Perhaps I was not truly neglected, but I really love the nearness of tango, the social interaction, the music, and touch. As a baby I was the last of six children. Especially when my siblings were off to school, perhaps I was a bit lonely and neglected with a very busy mother and a distant father who was often on the road as a bus driver. I remember being three years only and discovering parts of the neighborhood that were around 300 meters away. That was just too far for an urban neighborhood. Being so far away from home as a three-year-old child would have been a case of neglect with today's standards. I was alone when I went out and discovered the world like this. So perhaps I have been drawn to a few things that Dr. Perry uses for neglected and stimuli-seeking children, <br /><br />Let me present some of the treatment modalities that make huge differences for children who may have grown up in an orphanage, for example:<br /></p><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><b>Connection with other peers </b>in spite of serious by parents or caregivers. <br />Do we seek social interaction around tango to help fill that gap we feel? Children who had this connection with siblings who even lived in cages with other children have the best chance to lead a normal life compared to children who were raised absolutely alone. Dr. Perry watched how some of these little patients developed their own language to communicate with other children. That helped, but he had a lot to do to help them.<br /><br /></li><li><b>Quality time and touch. </b> <br />Perhaps you have heard of "failure to thrive." I once worked with a child and her parents right now. The mother would binge on alcohol and have blackouts. The child would cry and cry during mom's inebriated "vacations." Failure to thrive is a term that pediatricians and therapists use to describe a child who is neglected can even die. My little patient had a skull size that was larger than her peers at birth, but at around the 9-month mark, her cranial size was alarmingly under her peers. She eventually gained weight. Her father was allowed to stay home from work to make sure that his wife was not drinking and to give the baby a lot more stimuli. Babies need skin on skin, and need to be rocked. They need the rhythm of language and music even if they don't understand. Dr. Perry writes: "Preemies who received ... gentle massage went home from the hospital almost a week earlier on average. In older children and adults massage has also been found to lower blood pressure, fight depression, and cut stress by reducing the number of stress hormones released by the brain." We all have a little child inside of us who needs the same things babies need.</li><li><b>Rhythm therapy.</b> <br />Are you taking a musicality class? Consider that therapy. Even elephants, seals, monkeys, and birds can learn to walk on the beat. Musicality shows you to choose different lines to dance--the "compass" (basic beat), the bass line, the strings, or the melody. Perry says, "It may seem odd, but rhythm is extraordinarily important. If our bodies cannot keep the most fundamental rhythm of life--the heartbeat--we cannot survive. . . . Numerous hormones are rhythmically regulated as well. . . . The brain doesn't just keep one beat: it has many drums, which must all synchronize not only with the patters of the day and night. . . . Disturbances of the brain's rhythm-keeping regions are often causes of depression and other psychiatric disorders." Dr. Perry noted that the awkward gait of a child disappears. They have a better rhythm in conversation--although they can have really good intellectual and cognitive skills, they learn to be less odd, less nerdy. </li></ul><p></p><p>I wonder if we are all a bit neglected in some way--maybe it was by our parents, or by the lack of siblings or friends, or the cold culture we grew up in with its fear of human touch, or more recently, the phobia of illness via touch, <b> But now as adults, we should make up for any neglect by taking care of ourselves in safe ways. </b>What I am suggesting here is what works for the neglected child within: Human touch and rhythm.<br /></p><p>If you have been reading my blog, you may have often wondered if I overstate the importance of therapeutic dance in your life. After reading Perry's book, "The Boy Who was Raised as a Dog," I think that on the contrary: I have greatly underestimated the importance of therapeutic dance for 14 years of writing this blog. </p><p><br /></p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-65487867984313548442022-07-27T13:43:00.003-04:002022-10-02T09:10:26.023-04:00Tango Intercourse? <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggLD86IiVjEHkBoPyPfcxp_g2FkltQQsnxE-LnL87IGaMwLWv5WPzHqOMEXXN2i-pxkVEC0owooPycmopPDvakGt84ss-hWJGr1_edklvSMSgZgImAn0vv328nFKsvFBZ4260qJWKFbrgRP8YMWix-mZRCc29yJnS9lRr59XVxhpL-PwmS3efZ47V/s2048/Juliana%20Galambos%20Barbing%20Regensburg%20202205.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img alt="Tango is more than a "conversation."" border="0" data-original-height="1365" data-original-width="2048" height="427" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhggLD86IiVjEHkBoPyPfcxp_g2FkltQQsnxE-LnL87IGaMwLWv5WPzHqOMEXXN2i-pxkVEC0owooPycmopPDvakGt84ss-hWJGr1_edklvSMSgZgImAn0vv328nFKsvFBZ4260qJWKFbrgRP8YMWix-mZRCc29yJnS9lRr59XVxhpL-PwmS3efZ47V/w640-h427/Juliana%20Galambos%20Barbing%20Regensburg%20202205.jpg" width="640" /></a></div> <br /><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">The majority </span>of those who read my blog are not native English speakers. Because of this, many may have looked up the word "intercourse," not knowing what it could mean. <br /><br />For native speakers, this word often does not mean "conversation." "Intercourse" means in your dictionary, dear native speakers, "conversation." In the middle of the 1800's, someone coined the term "sexual intercourse." Cute. It took a century, but by the 1950s, "intercourse" without "sexual" being added started to mean "sex." Why? Because most people probably knew that the analogy was a poor choice of words to express sexual intimacy. Sure, sex may be like a conversation to some folks--<i>even a great conversation</i>. But I feel sorry for these people.<br /><br />Tango can seem like a conversation to some (tango intercourse)--even a great conversation. I feel sorry for those people too.<br /><br />I'm not going to say anything more about sex here. </span><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-family: arial;">I just want to say that tango is in no way a conversation for anybody--in spite of what your tango teacher says. Tango is an ecstatic dance between people that is so complex, that it is diminished greatly by calling it a conversation. As complex as a conversation can be, tango is far more complex.</span><div><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /><b><i><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Words often limit how we understand our experience. This is what has happened by likening tango to being a "conversation" or even, let's say, "intercourse."</span></i></b></span><p><span style="font-family: arial;">Wouldn't you agree that a good conversation happens when one or more people <i>actively listen</i> while a single person other actively talks/expresses her or himself? Taking turns is key for good conversationalists. That doesn't describe tango. Tango is not trading off roles of listening and expressing. Moreover, this description of tango as "conversation" mostly by tango teachers confuses their students.</span></p><span id="docs-internal-guid-16235b12-7fff-4938-f6d3-970537c6ae91"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial;"><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">However, if you still say tango is a conversation between two people . . .
</span><span style="font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
. . . Ask yourself about </span><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">the last time you sat down and conversed with someone during which you felt ecstatically united and connected with their feelings. It <i>does </i>happen in conversations, but I am afraid it is all too rare. Yet, an ecstatic connection happens </span><i style="white-space: pre-wrap;">all the time</i><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> in tango. </span></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">
. . . Ask yourself about the last time you had progressive conversations at a party that seemed to build on each other. But at milongas, progressive interactions build on each other. One tanda after another can be magical at events that balance the genders or roles.
</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">. . . Finally, ask yourself the last time you turned up the music so you could converse better. <i>And this last question brings us to the most salient reason why tango is not a "conversation":</i></span></p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">We dance while music is playing. Music is never "distracting" the dancers simply because<b> it's La Musica who is the one talking. </b> We respond in silence. My partner and I are both listening to the one talking--the music. All the diads on the dancefloor are doing the same. Our bodies are reacting mostly without any thought. To me, it feels like the music is <i>making</i> us all dance. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Indeed, I do "listen" to how my partner hears the music, and there is a type of millisecond back-and-forth. However, unlike conversations, one is never in a special role of listening for one moment and expressing the next moment. These are concurrent energies. If you still insist that tango is a conversation or even like a conversation, please write a book about your ecstatic conversations and how to regularly have them! We are all waiting for your best-seller book!</span></p><span style="font-family: arial;"><br /></span><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">My connection in tango is a tandem experience of the music overcoming me and my partner for the <b>most <i style="text-decoration-line: underline;">sustained</i> ecstatic moments in my life</b>. Even being a musician in ecstasy on stage, a windsurfer in ecstasy on the water, a snowboarder in ecstasy on the slope, a meditator in ecstasy before the divine, or a lover in ecstasy with my partner--these were never "conversations"; so why would tango be? If tango is a conversation or even <i>like</i> a conversation for others, I can accept that. </span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: arial; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">That's just not my experience.</span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Photo credit: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/christian.beyreuther" target="_blank">Christian Beyreuther</a>, photographer and organizer, at his <i>encuentro </i>near Regensburg, Germany, May 2022. </span></p><div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 11pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /><br /></span></div></span></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-11338745817062061102022-04-05T13:08:00.000-04:002022-04-05T13:08:24.857-04:00The Day After the Milonga at Work<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZ_wtME_7Gv7d-YbJBRREkiZC0mmK60qULjvjF4MrfFKc6-3Ro6NTjVZdAkN7HOcG8u75es36-RoMKSn3X0yUOcTQ3gp80jL4IShr6931SUki6g6hXYxZ77rdtcvlrC6VUOM1gz6Bg7o/s1600/https-%253A%253Awww.life-with-confidence.com%253Aso-tired-reasons.html.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="179" data-original-width="269" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgcZ_wtME_7Gv7d-YbJBRREkiZC0mmK60qULjvjF4MrfFKc6-3Ro6NTjVZdAkN7HOcG8u75es36-RoMKSn3X0yUOcTQ3gp80jL4IShr6931SUki6g6hXYxZ77rdtcvlrC6VUOM1gz6Bg7o/s1600/https-%253A%253Awww.life-with-confidence.com%253Aso-tired-reasons.html.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br /><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sleeping is a primal need. Dancing is a primal need.</span> We don't need to choose between them. We need both.<br /><br />Some will say sleep is more important, and it is. But dance is also is a human need and a major marker that we are human and not apes (who don't dance spontaneously as humans do). Dancing is a subcategory of the need to move, but a very important and unique need.<br /><br /><b>But here is the thing--one primal need, sleep, is too often being canceled out for the lesser need and desire of tango. </b> <br /><br />So here are a few questions for you: Are you still are going to late milongas? Ever heard of the circadian rhythm? Sleep deprivation causing depression? Poor memory? Higher risks for multiple diseases? Lower functioning of the immune system? You probably have. So if you said yes to all these questions, then no doubt you are <i>gently influencing your favorite organizer </i>to make their milonga earlier. Right? <br /><div><br /></div><div>My love of tango has brought great passion and joy to my life. But my late-night tango practice had me sleep-deprived for years. I regret not seeing this earlier. Poor sleep led to poor judgment in nearly all areas of my life. I can see that now. For example, when I started sleeping sensibly again, I noticed that I remembered tasks at work better. I had better performance. I remembered people's names. I would remember passwords easily. I had fewer colds.<br /></div><div><br /></div><div>So here are some things to consider for basic needs: Air, water, food, sleep, and the need to move. Don't hold your breath for days before the milonga or after dancing. Don't go without water before, during or after a milonga. Eat to nourish your dancing body. And finally: wake up about the need for sleep. If you need to move, then dance!<div><br /></div><div>Putting knowledge into practice is the next step. Support the organizers who think early<i><b> </b></i>milongas are what dancers want and need. But they need to hear your voice; so please speak up. Or at least vote with your feet by going to any milonga that is earlier when there is a choice. Your request for an early start, however, is not enough. If the milonga starts at 7:30 pm goes until 2 in the morning, then no one will show up until 10. 7pm to 11pm provides a four-hour milonga. Make it 5 hours max. Your body will dance better for the rest of your life. Yes, I know that some milongas go all day or maybe 7 hours in Buenos Aires. Old traditions are responsible for good things and bad things. It once was a tradition to smoke at milongas too. Someday and even now, milongas are happily early and well attended because unwise traditions are giving way to wisdom. Help your favorite organizer make the switch. It's time.<br /><br /><br />
Photo Credit: <a href="https://www.life-with-confidence.com/so-tired-reasons.html">https://www.life-with-confidence.com/so-tired-reasons.html</a></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-49582099783881356332022-02-26T06:35:00.002-05:002022-03-06T11:14:31.412-05:00Opening Arms versus Owning Arms<br />
<div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLBXh0rH9_NN_nv-EiqzXir9X_qhJzOF8bRjV_bMiC4JMLLqXXso3d8kqa-2ETQ_N29W8NjIFykwjgnwmzJEeKxmArxo89bxysBTzLIRFp7d64v-xxjBIKPJ_hIlCWqdF_VEkgcvbKNtQ/s1600/Jefferson%252BMemorial_5440.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="551" data-original-width="1000" height="220" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjLBXh0rH9_NN_nv-EiqzXir9X_qhJzOF8bRjV_bMiC4JMLLqXXso3d8kqa-2ETQ_N29W8NjIFykwjgnwmzJEeKxmArxo89bxysBTzLIRFp7d64v-xxjBIKPJ_hIlCWqdF_VEkgcvbKNtQ/w377-h220/Jefferson%252BMemorial_5440.jpg" width="377" /></a></div>
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;"><font size="6">We the People ... ... </font>should put our freedoms in the right order. Ameican freedoms, as prioritized in the Constitutional Amendments, got it wrong. This post is not against or for guns; it's about prioritizing freedoms. <br /><br />I propose that people keep their guns if they think they need them, but as far as priorities, the Second Amendment should be changed from the freedom to <i>own arms</i> to the Freedom of Movement, and that includes dance: To <i>open one's <b>arms</b> and dance</i>.<br /><br />Now, this sounds cute and simple, doesn't it? But I am serious. Do oppressive governments FIRST fear the freedom of dance or of speech? If the world was paying attention, swing dance and jazz were the first to feel the stranglehold of Nazism before larger "freedoms of speech " felt it. Tango was forbidden for a time in a repressive regime in Argentina. Coincidence? Here is another example: The Taliban were prohibiting dance far before the general public in the West had ever heard of them. Could it be that dance is not only the pulse of the human spirit; maybe dance is the pulse of freedom of expression? In the history of humanity, many governments and religious leaders have <i>and still are </i>prohibiting dance. </div>
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
<br /><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeRcoDJnCzG88PDNyBnd6DrF7qmprdkfNn-SzOE48ne7ME7Tn3Zhe54HPFftmaOaf6O-ic9jiDZaKBD8x1O08x0fWW6E9RQgyomGkTBOu2YAlg1VAq4RoqRdVSpO_OgJOyOj63W6zgoY/s1600/Screenshot+2020-04-18+at+20.21.16.png" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img alt="As Jefferson looks on..." border="0" data-original-height="530" data-original-width="391" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjeeRcoDJnCzG88PDNyBnd6DrF7qmprdkfNn-SzOE48ne7ME7Tn3Zhe54HPFftmaOaf6O-ic9jiDZaKBD8x1O08x0fWW6E9RQgyomGkTBOu2YAlg1VAq4RoqRdVSpO_OgJOyOj63W6zgoY/w295-h400/Screenshot+2020-04-18+at+20.21.16.png" title="Police arrest people dancing at his memorial." width="295" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><i>With Jefferson looking on at<br />his memorial, a dancer is<br />subdued by police.</i></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<b><span style="font-size: medium;">In light of a country</span> out of control with gun violence,</b> let me point out a little-known document, written by Thomas Jefferson. Two groups of youth wanted to use public property in Washington, D.C. in September 1825. It was a rotunda, and the two groups requested space to practice. One group wanted to dance and the other wanted to practice with small weaponry.*</div>
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
When I first came to the Washington, DC area, <a href="https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/dancing-in-jefferson-memorial-our-founding-father-would-approve/2011/05/31/AGkcvkFH_story.html" target="_blank">police aggressively subdued people</a> who demonstrated against restrictions to dance at the Thomas Jefferson memorial. </div>
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
<strong><span style="font-size: large;">Thomas Jefferson</span></strong> specifically speaks well of dance and even gives permission to dance at that public rotunda and at the same time denied a request to practice the use of weapons at the same public place. Ironically DC police, wielding weapons aggressively made dancers stop, fighting them to the floor. Thomas Jefferson watched, standing in frozen disbelief in his own Memorial building. And since that time, more and more bloody massacres have happened while people were dancing. What would Thomas Jefferson have to say on this subject? <b> Well, this is what he did say:</b></div><div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;"><br /></div>
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
"...[The] use of a room for instructing [students] in the art of dancing, stands on more favorable ground [than for weapons training]. [Dance's] object is the embellishment, and not the destruction, of the lives of our young citizens . . . . <strong>Dancing is generally, and justly I think, considered among innocent accomplishments; while we cannot so consider the art of stabbing and pistoling our friends, or dexterity in the practice of an instrument exclusively used for killing our fellow-citizens . . . ."</strong></div>
<br />Watch carefully when your freedom to dance is taken. You laugh. Watch. When your culture values bearing arms more than open arms you have already have lost the value of dance in your culture. Freedom of speech may be next.<br /><br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
Photo credit. <a href="https://www.svenlerphotography.com/photography-blog/?offset=1404412565596">https://www.svenlerphotography.com/photography-blog/?offset=1404412565596</a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEJJ75yfcpKx7UREob19ZS3bNMTtMN24raVMH8BtaxIbDJ_5vi3uLUFvsnL28c6maqyKo3wLbT2GTyyD1Ja2LYJdpV_MligRZHqwYRUvRt0dBtKbwc4YlqcpBNx04nP4-YWC8lNGaEzo/s1600/Thomas+Jefferson+on+Dancing.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgTEJJ75yfcpKx7UREob19ZS3bNMTtMN24raVMH8BtaxIbDJ_5vi3uLUFvsnL28c6maqyKo3wLbT2GTyyD1Ja2LYJdpV_MligRZHqwYRUvRt0dBtKbwc4YlqcpBNx04nP4-YWC8lNGaEzo/s400/Thomas+Jefferson+on+Dancing.jpg" width="325" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
<span style="font-size: large;">*Extra thought:</span></div>
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
The whole text is transcribed below from the manuscript to <a href="http://memory.loc.gov/master/mss/mtj/mtj1/055/0500/0503.jpg">Jefferson to Louis Xaupe</a>, dated September 1825: "An application from young gentlemen of the University for the appropriation of a room wherein they might receive instruction in the use of the small sword having led me to the consideration of that subject previously to the receipt of your letter of yesterday, I inclose you my answer to them, which I pray you to receive as equally an answer to yourself.</div>
<br />
<div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">
The other part of your request, for the use of a room for instructing them in the art of dancing, stands on more favorable ground [than for weapons training]. [Dance's] object is the embellishment, and not the destruction, of the lives of our young citizens, and the Visitors seem to have provided for it in the statute which enacts that one of the elliptical rooms on the middle floor of the Rotunda shall be used for 'schools of instruction in drawing, music, or any other of the innocent and ornamental accomplishments of life.' Dancing is generally, and justly I think, considered among innocent accomplishments; while we cannot so consider the art of stabbing and pistolling our friends, or dexterity in the practice of an instrument exclusively used for killing our fellow-citizens . . . ." </div>
<br />
<br />Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-71134944300960971482021-10-30T12:06:00.000-04:002021-10-30T12:06:35.006-04:00Are Early Milongas a Bad Business Decision?<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgWkcpRT_6A1ey_JvVfuQGYAxoH7_d1HICS55sQkqdot4irxI8HylLE8iir6go13S9BFikjhjgg8yBlyaGaJ6s8m7t9iQQnjAVWKPhiJxvbg7oSKCqtsn6lzYcLYJED1Ec4IbhO4q538/s1000/good_bad.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1000" height="315" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgMgWkcpRT_6A1ey_JvVfuQGYAxoH7_d1HICS55sQkqdot4irxI8HylLE8iir6go13S9BFikjhjgg8yBlyaGaJ6s8m7t9iQQnjAVWKPhiJxvbg7oSKCqtsn6lzYcLYJED1Ec4IbhO4q538/w525-h315/good_bad.jpeg" width="525" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">No.</span><span style="font-size: large;"> The early milonga eventually will be seen as the best business decision of the century for tango lovers. </span></b>The COVID-19 pandemic was mostly bad news for tango communities. However, one thing that was good is that the pandemic has taught many people that they need more sleep. A strong immune system requires it.<br /><b><br /><span style="font-size: medium;">Why are early milongas a good business decision </span>for those who are organizing them?</b> I was not sure that that would be the case, but it made good sense "on paper." In early 2019, I gave my rationale to local organizers, and many were skeptical. However, people who had to drive an hour loved the idea. Others liked hiking or some other activity on the next morning. During the week, many need to wake up early for work. The late-night milonga made them cancel one, and often it was tango. On the other hand, there were those who were night owls, worked late regularly or were retired who hated the idea of an early milonga. <i>Organizers wondered if people would come. </i> So what happened? Dancers came in record numbers once the milongas started at 7pm. </p><p>For the nay-sayers, below is a footnote of the myths of why early milongas are a bad business decision.*<br /></p><div><b><span style="font-size: medium;">The best business decision always has an eye on the bottom line: Money.</span></b><br />An organizer in my community gave the early milonga concept a try on her longest-running monthly Saturday milonga. The result was stunning. Never had there been so many people come to that milonga since its inception, some 12 years ago. She said, "This is great for me too. I have to get up with my children the next day. I love it." </div><div><br /></div><div>So what was a feasibility issue for early milongas eventually became a good business decision for her and other organizers who jumped on the bandwagon in the same city. But beyond the money issue, having early milongas (before 7:30 pm start), In summary: <ul style="text-align: left;"><li>More people came. The main reason was that people out of town came.</li><li>Dancers had better personal balance and danced better.</li><li>Customers drove home before the drowsy-and-drunk drivers were on the road.</li><li>People with multiple interests awoke to enjoy a full Saturday or Sunday.</li><li>People who work for a living woke the next workday with uncompromised sleep rhythm.</li><li>Everyone had a better chance to have their memory and mood doing better.</li></ul></div><div>One can ask, how is it feasible (or a good business decision) to continue late-night milongas in a time when people are more knowledgeable about the direct correlation of being more susceptibility to infections and viruses? </div><div><br /></div><div>Are late-night milongas feasible or even thinkable in a post-pandemic world? <br /><br />_______________________________</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Photo Credit:</b><br /><a href="https://www.businessarticleshub.com/20-of-the-worst-business-decisions-ever-made/" target="_blank">The worst business decisions ever made</a> [article]. </div><div><br /><br />*Here is that false or at least questionable list of reasons early milongas won't work in your town:</div><ul><li>Early milongas have lots of kids running around your feet. This is not true. Early milongas billed as kid-friendly can create this problem. The tango community understands etiquette. So a simple rule of no children on the dance floor fixes that problem.<br /><br /></li><li>Dancing is a late-night event. "Some wine and a darkened room are part of the tango allure. Think about it. Some of the best dancing you probably have done was <i>early in the day</i> at festivals or <i>encuentros</i>. Early milongas or <i>practicas</i> are doing well in large cities too, including Buenos Aires.<br /><br /></li><li>The excuse is often this: "We have a class before the milonga and <i>that is why the milonga has to be later.</i>" This is the best and worst reason to have later milongas. First the best reasons: Classes and following a milonga help raise enough money for organizers. Classes, it is argued, help grow the community with new dancers. The worst reason for combining classes to a milonga: If you are going to have a quality milonga, don't have people learning and then practicing what they learned at your milonga! Also, do you really want to frustrate and demotivate beginners with trying to dance after a class? Seeing advanced dancers dancing so well may be frustrating for many beginners. <br /><br /></li><li>No one will come. The smart organizer merely must try an early milonga that is well advertised. Early milongas in traffic-ridden cities during the week may be hard. But in some cities, an early milonga could allow dancers to come right after work and then go home early.</li></ul><div><br /></div><p></p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-47145212310204253542021-09-12T09:33:00.004-04:002022-02-26T12:01:59.779-05:00Be Your Best, Not Hers<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6kNJ_VjycgvDSiUjn3WJSub6F4dAOr89Yzwe5Ow2RMkkibE7Wx53bxPR5d727tykSet9c9Z_BLAqhPHYq-t26gQ9hsUjXldY0optAvLByGBKRF7LsGF71OpjvANFinr0EKo2QfdKn-To/s2048/IMG_0116.JPG" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1364" data-original-width="2048" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi6kNJ_VjycgvDSiUjn3WJSub6F4dAOr89Yzwe5Ow2RMkkibE7Wx53bxPR5d727tykSet9c9Z_BLAqhPHYq-t26gQ9hsUjXldY0optAvLByGBKRF7LsGF71OpjvANFinr0EKo2QfdKn-To/s320/IMG_0116.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br /><p></p><p><b><span style="font-size: large;">My goal</span> is to be my best.</b></p><p>For those who do not dance, let me share a fact: It is a rare thing to have your own partner as your favorite dancer. But let’s say that you marry your favorite dancer. What happens when another great dancer replaces you? So it was never my goal to be my wife's best dance partner. It still isn’t. </p><p>After years of dancing together, however, Sybille has become my favorite. We have great dances with others, and then when we reunite, we both rediscover how wonderful we are together. It’s always a wonderful surprise. After dancing with others we return to each other as better dancers and interestingly renewed in our appreciation of each other. </p><p>If one day Mr. Perfect Dancer comes along, I will be so glad! She’ll tell me why he was so good. I will learn. And eventually, all my partners will notice that I have improved.</p><p>My goal is just to be my best, not her best.</p>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-49271820007675628202021-03-18T08:55:00.005-04:002022-10-27T14:42:08.680-04:00A New Tango Start<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0eoFMqoT6Zj3Qo0QXxALmsE-VpaV29cxE9YrcwYUO5JXbdz4hTPzhMx15WnMh3CrPnkOfLFoo8kES0xKz17Om5f6RRA8cNCsdyxGpGuR1vADgPJ_tl20QuOxtTDUhg2Ug8-AG11ROsQ0/s1200/Dark+side+of+the+moon.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="600" data-original-width="1200" height="303" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh0eoFMqoT6Zj3Qo0QXxALmsE-VpaV29cxE9YrcwYUO5JXbdz4hTPzhMx15WnMh3CrPnkOfLFoo8kES0xKz17Om5f6RRA8cNCsdyxGpGuR1vADgPJ_tl20QuOxtTDUhg2Ug8-AG11ROsQ0/w606-h303/Dark+side+of+the+moon.jpeg" width="606" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><b><span style="font-size: large;">At the end of the pandemic, maybe a new start? </span></b> Look around, if you have been around and experienced tango communities come and go, you will see the effects of the <b>Dark Side</b>, the negative elements of tango. Slowly tango can become extinct here and there in the tango world. Maybe a new start can help tango to better thrive?<br /><br /> Tango communities--communities that hug--will certainly lose some dancers forever and have a smaller pool of prospective dancers.<br /><br />The Dark Side, then, is a true threat to tango communities as it is so vulnerable for viability now. It is true that a certain kind of tango may continue; I call it "Wax Museum Tango." You already are aware of the Wax Museum of Dance museum piece, taught with other ballroom dances which live in the Wax Museum of Dance, or the so-called ballroom dance. Although I have enjoyed ballroom dance, it really is not so much a social dance but for the show--expensive gowns and lessons which only the rich can afford.<br /><br />You also have seen Wax Museum Tango exists already in the ballroom repertoire. It's a generalized rhythm taken from a few authentic but not beloved tangos. The ballroom tango tempo is prescribed in a narrow spectrum between 120-128 beats per minute. (<a href="http://www.ballroomguide.com/resources/music.html" target="_blank">I am not kidding</a>.) Men and women often look in opposite directions as they march machine-like across the floor. He is passionate and tough on his woman and she is a bordello-like temptress. Great fun. Argentine tango is different, but also easily could join the other museum pieces if the "Dark Elements" of AT continue to eat away and this and that tango community in the world. Surely you know of some communities--sometimes large cities whose tango communities wither and die. That's how it happens. One or more of the below elements sealed the coffin of that community. For a large city near where I live, it was #5 as the major factor, but all were there.<div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRk5v7Q-XlVpw8fz3QOHrMUMdOcFad6V_HBxaN3PTWxg0nG-pfIzQo1M_Gh0uzbCsZ3C8Y8GuOc2hfvNUKRTO4Gl2NI9JgQtYzUWJ9GOS6vxEnPpEpIBozZMSOkdFxkyGrfVy5nzWW3_8/s1680/ballroom+wax+museum+tango.jpeg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1680" data-original-width="1200" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgRk5v7Q-XlVpw8fz3QOHrMUMdOcFad6V_HBxaN3PTWxg0nG-pfIzQo1M_Gh0uzbCsZ3C8Y8GuOc2hfvNUKRTO4Gl2NI9JgQtYzUWJ9GOS6vxEnPpEpIBozZMSOkdFxkyGrfVy5nzWW3_8/w143-h200/ballroom+wax+museum+tango.jpeg" width="143" /></a></div></div></div><div><b>Elements of the Dark Side: </b><br />
<br />1. Dark Side Element: <b>Over-defining what dance is.</b><br />Source: Teachers and students who focus on multiple standardized moves and perfect presentation. In a few words: Cookbook dance.</div><div><b>Solution:</b> Dance always was and will continue to be as unique as each person is. People who are motivated to dance out of a need to show off to others, or even worse, to compete to see who is best will ruin any dance genre as a social dance. The dance will land in the Wax Museum of Dance. <br /><br />Competition brings with it choreography (literally "written out dance") that requires mostly group-think. Sure ballet is beautiful but does it have people dancing out of joy for the music? Maybe in the streets? Or dance halls? It is an elitist dance that damages the body. How many old ballet dancers do you find out there? Communities that have teachers who focus on social dance and being unique in one's body create communities that will last. <br />
<br />2. Dark Side Element: <b>Lack of shared etiquette among social dancers.</b> </div><div>Source: An over-emphasis on how to move the body gracefully but not how to move gracefully in the community. The source tends to be from ballroom and salsa dancers using rules from a one-dance (not tanda) community. Tango teachers and veteran dancers are the only ones who can fix this. But often they are too passive or don't know or want to follow etiquette.<br /><b>Solution:</b> Well, you cannot easily fix what I have seen in a now-dead community--a teacher who comes over to a potential partner, puts out both of his hands with his feet inches from her feet, expecting that she is delighted to dance with him. Then he breaks a very important etiquette rule: He teaches her at the milonga. Since he has many women who he thinks need his services, he drops her off at her seat after a few dances and repeats this behavior. Etiquette worked very well in the tango community to make the community grow and remain lively. Don't try to fix etiquette. It is not broken, only misunderstood or trivialized by some.<br />
<br />
3. Dark Side Element: <b>Creation of unisex sanitized dance. </b> </div><div>Source: This element is pernicious because it hides under the important social changes of our times. But in reality, it is the <u>cultural appropriation</u> of social dance from Argentina. Do you really want to kill tango? Forget that we are passionate human beings that love to be held. </div><div><b>Solution:</b> Learn to appreciate yin and yang, male and female energies--in yourself and others. Erasing these ancient ways of understanding life does not come from making female into male. If you do not like being uniquely feminine or masculine and kind of wish that everyone were the same, then <i>Argentine </i>tango is not your dance. I recommend the fusion or blues community, where that works well. One thing that I see that differs between Hispanic culture and Europeanized culture is that the former women love being women and men love being men. (Yes <i>machismo</i> and <i>machisma</i> come from this too, but is it any better in "Gringolandia"?) If you want to participate in the <u>cultural appropriation</u> of tango, make it a unisex dance! My wife and I lead and follow. When there are too few men in Gringolandia, as is often the case, my wife leads. Unisex communities will see fewer and fewer beginner men maturing in this environment. Look around! In the rare case that there are too many men, I want the chance to follow. By dancing both parts we are not making the dance neuter. Knowing both parts is a part of learning the dance better, not some sort of social statement for masculinists or feminists. The bottom line is that communities with their cultural appropriation of tango via unisex sanitized dance will fizzle out, and then come back and argue with me.)<br />
<br />
4. Dark Side Element: <b>Poorly trained DJs.</b> <br />Source: Milonga organizers who do not give clear guidance to all DJs. (In other words, it is <i>your</i> party, not theirs!<br /><b>Solution: </b>Whenever I played professionally as a musician, someone in charge wanted to know our repertoire, and make it clear that he or she wanted people to dance. If the band was too loud, the organizer would be the first to complain. Organizers wanted the dance floor not to get too rowdy. I remember one rowdy crowd in which there was a guy who threatened to get his gun in his car. The organizer ordered us to play "a bunch of slow songs." And so we did. It was like a tranquilizer for the crowd. </div><div><br /></div><div>But what do tango organizers often do? They often allow the ignorance or egos of the DJ's rule. One DJ is dancing and not in control of the volume. Another is not paying attention to the floor but talking loudly off to the side. Another plays an expressive Pugliese on a crowded floor instead of waiting for later in the evening. Yet another DJ plays a super long and loud <i>reggaetón</i> to which some in the audience are holding their ears and no one (thank God) is dancing. The DJ is <i>not </i>the queen or king of your milonga. If you love tango and do not know what you need for a successful <i>dance party,</i> then get a room manager. A poor DJ ruins the party and has harmed ever so slightly the whole community. Some may decide to give up tango at your poorly managed milonga.</div><div>
<br />
5. Dark Side Element: <b>Lack of coordination and civility among organizers. </b></div><div>Problem: If the community does not have a central calendar, like one finds in Washington DC or Austin, Texas, organizers cannot even begin to be civil to one another.<br /><b>Solution: </b> Well, try getting a group of volunteers. Start with a milongas-only calendar, as I did in 2008 in Austin. Large cities around where I live have this problem of a lack of coordination, too much competition, and straight-out incivility. Meanwhile, my smaller town has avoided this pretty successfully. This Dark Element has destroyed tango in spite of huge populations.<br /><br /></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Photo credit: Ballroom tango https://milagro.org/ballroom-tango-vs-argentine-tango/</div><br /></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-46711099749692927682021-01-30T21:48:00.001-05:002021-01-30T21:54:10.329-05:00Literally dying from a lack of touch<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-family: Times; letter-spacing: normal; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; orphans: 2; text-align: right; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_FiUYxku0_2LgZStawu7hD_6K8BPlAKFt-KvrT6IuEfsser_CiM3Zv9dM6nuc2kiohwg7CcWu27j1gPte1qiCrBVwh7x0aDMuwCR1YJOLRCxh5cyRmSY_kyZOG1veZtX_6i_9It2EJvk/s1600/28619535_10213623071598335_8720600411387610728_o.jpg" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" data-original-height="844" data-original-width="1500" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_FiUYxku0_2LgZStawu7hD_6K8BPlAKFt-KvrT6IuEfsser_CiM3Zv9dM6nuc2kiohwg7CcWu27j1gPte1qiCrBVwh7x0aDMuwCR1YJOLRCxh5cyRmSY_kyZOG1veZtX_6i_9It2EJvk/s400/28619535_10213623071598335_8720600411387610728_o.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;">Encuentro in Newport News, Virginia by Ivy Garrenton</span></td></tr></tbody></table><div style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; color: black; font-family: Times; font-size: medium; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">Sybille, my wife, and I were talking about<span> </span></span><a href="http://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-five-languages-of-tango.html" style="font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">the five languages of tango</a><span style="font-size: x-large;">, and I think she formulated what allows people to stay a long time in tango:</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400;"><br /></span><span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400;">"People start dancing tango for different reasons, but those who stay with tango, stay because their dominant love language is the Language of Touch," she quipped.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400;">I think she is has a good point.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: large;"><b style="font-style: normal;">Dying to dance tango? No.</b><br />At least, I don't think it is <i>dancing</i> that we are so missing. It is probably more that you are dying to have <i>human touch</i>. A desire to have socially acceptable human touch with many people may add years to your life, according to the research. This is especially true of certain people. Although research indicates that human touch increases in its pleasantness the older we get, the lack of touch especially as infants and older adults can lead to "the failure to thrive" conditions, leading to an "unexplainable" death.<span style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400;"> This idea of having a dominant Language of Touch is another way of understanding how people literally die from a lack of touch, which I mentioned back in November.</span><br /><br />If human touch with friends, family, and one's partner is important in a general sense, and you personally especially crave human touch, then tango will be your long-lived friend. Having the luxury of touch adds</span><span style="font-size: large; font-style: normal; font-weight: 400;"> <a href="https://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/7-ways-hugging-makes-you-healthier-and-happier.html" target="_blank">years to your life on the planet</a>. </span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><span><br /><b><span style="font-size: x-large;">Some</span><span style="font-size: large;"><span> </span>prefer</span></b><span style="font-size: large;"><b><span> </span>the other 4 languages.</b> </span></span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXc245rvgrdvWI6gfK8eaoHI7QfMUI08cjFQtU6PDNs-mAv1RQ9ydC5Odw5WbbWYNVn9pxAAmbXPS2k11YiJG6L4Vaiov1TF4fN7jSOJ8ponf71ReMVk8-SL61r3obePBRot00tsk57x4/s400/The+5+Love+Languages.png" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="87" data-original-width="400" height="88" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgXc245rvgrdvWI6gfK8eaoHI7QfMUI08cjFQtU6PDNs-mAv1RQ9ydC5Odw5WbbWYNVn9pxAAmbXPS2k11YiJG6L4Vaiov1TF4fN7jSOJ8ponf71ReMVk8-SL61r3obePBRot00tsk57x4/w400-h88/The+5+Love+Languages.png" style="cursor: move;" width="400" /></a></div><span style="font-size: x-large;">Gary Chapman, the author of<span> </span><i>The Five Love Languages</i>, suggests other languages that I believe are complementary to tango-- the languages of Quality Time and Words of Affirmation. Coupled with the Language of Touch, tango will be pleasant for a long time. </span><span style="font-size: x-large;">When I wrote the post<span> </span></span><a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2015/07/the-five-languages-of-tango.html" style="font-size: x-large;" target="_blank">The Five Languages of Tango</a><span style="font-size: x-large;">, the first draft had problems with the so-called languages of "receiving gifts" and "acts of service." But it became clear. The freedom of movement and expression is the greatest gift you can give to many people. In the realm of dances, there are simply some better dances for this than tango. Seeking a "freedom of movement" high? You might be in the wrong dance studio, and you might be a menace on the dancefloor!<br /><br />Longevity in life and tango may be correlated, but the dance is so much more enjoyable when we give each other a warm embrace. Is touch your dominant language, your most fluent language? Tango itself needs to stay with this foundational strength; otherwise, I fear that tango itself will once again die out as so many dances have over history. I love other dances for movement, but if tango stays with its own foundation, it will come back strong after the pandemic once again allows a warm embrace.</span></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="font-style: normal; font-weight: 400; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-size: medium;"><br class="Apple-interchange-newline" /><br /></div><span style="font-size: medium;">Photo credit:</span><br style="font-size: medium;" /><span style="font-size: medium;">The line of dancers in the </span><i style="font-size: medium;">ronda </i><span style="font-size: medium;">was taken by Ivy Garrenton </span><span style="font-size: x-small;"><a href="https://m.facebook.com/ivygarrenton/">https://m.facebook.com/ivygarrenton/</a> </span><span style="font-size: medium;">at the Newport News, VA (USA) </span><i style="font-size: medium;">encuentro. </i><span style="font-size: medium;">March 2018.</span></span></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-82989384837077886682020-12-03T19:47:00.001-05:002020-12-03T19:47:15.248-05:00Musicians who make us get up<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">Worldwide </span>17 December 2020 we celebrate Bethoven's 250th birday. This is a good time to ask what great tango musicians have in common with Ludwig van Beethoven? It is simply this: They all keep people on their feet. If you have never been brought to your feet by Beethoven, read this story:</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: left; margin-bottom: 0.5em; margin-right: 1em; padding: 6px; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtoR18Nd65YVXuyuvyqkXBN0HiywnddcfEqKHKiXN94BmdozmNCZC8tPg9I_A4VeHecVF3_eSmG_oveCeFswRQKcIDYijrEphv9sx_6qQedwSATeb3pbP3JUUlFf_DmZjN_qxl42vdN4/s1600/beethoven.jpg" style="clear: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHtoR18Nd65YVXuyuvyqkXBN0HiywnddcfEqKHKiXN94BmdozmNCZC8tPg9I_A4VeHecVF3_eSmG_oveCeFswRQKcIDYijrEphv9sx_6qQedwSATeb3pbP3JUUlFf_DmZjN_qxl42vdN4/s320/beethoven.jpg" style="cursor: move;" width="248" /></a></div>
</td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="font-size: 13px; padding-top: 4px; text-align: center;"><div style="margin: 0px;">
Only the best keep people on their feet.</div>
</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-large;">T</span>he year, 1824, and the place is Wien, Österreich. An absolutely deaf man is conducting his newly composed 9th symphony for the public. Although it is a tradition not even to clap after a movement and wait until the end, you have already stood with others four times, driven to stand and cheer.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
Police in the auditorium try to stop the fourth ovation because only royalty are supposed to get three ovations, and now you have disrespected the Viennese royals by putting a lowly musician ahead of them. The fifth standing ovation is yet to come. You have never seen a chorus used for a symphony. You may have wondered if they would ever sing since they have sat in silence through every movement of the symphony. Finally, the chorus dramatically stands.</div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin: 0px;">
The music is so powerful tears are in your eyes. You stand for your fifth ovation in spite of the police. At the glorius end, one of the lead vocalists, a woman, turns the composer/director around to face the audience, and he realizes that everyone is on their feet. Certainly you will want to go home and listen to it again. But that is not possible. Sorry. The radio doesn't exist. You cannot buy the CD or even get the vynil. None of these exist. Unlike modern audiences, you now go home, knowing that you porbably will <i>never get the chance to hear Beethoven's 9th ever again</i>. <br /><b><br />What precious moments! There will be no record of this momenteous night beyond impressions on paper--the music manuscript and impressions from the audience in the newspapers and streets. </b></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><b><br /></b></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><b>Tango Audiences: The lack of being present</b><br />This brings us to the great difference of great tango music and Bethoven's music: Beethoven's listeners were attentive and quiet and then boasterous in their praise between movements. On the other hand, rarely have I seen concert goers so loud and unattentive as in a live tango concert. We are all used to tango musicans being dead, and then seem to forget that some are young and alive, playing for us in the flesh! Dead or alive we disrespect them.</div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;">In the 1800's generally the audiences were absolutely quiet and listening. If you did not listen at the concert you may not ever hear it again! It was a rare person who heard any of Beethoven's symphonies twice.</div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br />Interestingly, the pandemic has us back to listening attentively and not just talking as tango music is in the background. Does it take a tragedy for us to return to mindful attention? Maybe we have learned something.</div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;">Note for music lovers:<br />If you have never been brought to your feet, please read this wonderful introduction that appeared in the New York Times: "<a href="https://www.nytimes.com/2020/12/02/arts/music/five-minutes-classical-music-beethoven.html" target="_blank">Five Minutes that wil make you love Beethoven.</a>"</div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div><div style="margin: 0px;"><br /></div>
Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-20832102479951965612020-11-26T22:15:00.004-05:002020-11-27T17:04:15.952-05:00Post-Pandemic Body and Tango<div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIi44On1QCS8YZGV9WgShYiT_ACwQNuoPpaafC8_b2XKh_e8iNBTnT-X6rJ3mcOzV3eZjklBs9Sdzew5eimyS2uX1u9b26IUJGZCbxLjs_FWY97tngbwN9InEmNFDqyKrKmK-eVjgelU/s750/baby-pointing-milestone-750x470.webp" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="470" data-original-width="750" height="251" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjoIi44On1QCS8YZGV9WgShYiT_ACwQNuoPpaafC8_b2XKh_e8iNBTnT-X6rJ3mcOzV3eZjklBs9Sdzew5eimyS2uX1u9b26IUJGZCbxLjs_FWY97tngbwN9InEmNFDqyKrKmK-eVjgelU/w400-h251/baby-pointing-milestone-750x470.webp" width="400" /></a></div><div></div><br />
<div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Will tango survive the pandemic?</span><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>What helps the body survive is exactly what will help tango survive. But surviving is not the same as thriving. If you ask a pediatrician or geriatric physician about what <b>"failure to thrive"</b> means in medicine, they will tell stories of vulnerable children and mature adults who died from <b>a lack of touch</b>. A "failure to thrive" tango community has a problem with touch too. Death looms.<br /></span><br /></span></div><span style="font-size: medium;"><span>The need for human touch is correlated to </span><i>human longevity itself. </i><span> That is what "thriving" is! However, once the risk of a dangerous virus is gone, fear can remain for a lifetime. World Wars and the Great Depression are examples of tragedies replayed in the psyches of many for their entire lives. People go to their graves with this fear of losing everything again. Even so with the Pandemic of 2020, unfortunately, we will have those who will never get over this experience. Being traumatized will halt what needs to happen. We will continue needing touch on two levels. First, on the biological level, the </span><a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2020/02/tango-and-microbiome.html" target="_blank">microbiome</a><span> needs social interaction because of the biological need for diversity of the bacteria in our bodies. Scientists have been ignorant about this until more recently, and the general public and many physicians do not know it. Post-pandemic, some dancers sequestering themselves for a lifetime will unwittingly create the likelihood of a weakened immune system. That's where a short lifespan comes into play. Second, on the psychological level without touch, failure to thrive starts--all the food and comforts do not keep children, the elderly, and yes, the forlorn dancer alive, who are all dying of a lack of touch and interaction--it's more than just the dance. The body and/or tango die out if the population is now avoidant of one thing: <i>Touch</i>. But that won't happen, at least to you, if you know how important touch is.</span></span><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>What are some of the foreseeable challenges for the Tango community?</b><br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li><span>Some milonga venues will be lost, never to return.</span></li><li><span>Some organizers were truly harmed financially by the pandemic and will not want to face the risk again.</span></li><li><span>Many teachers will have gone on to some other way to make their living. Being a teacher was already hard, but the pandemic had them take their talents elsewhere. </span></li><li><span>Some dancers just cannot afford to go dance as they did before.</span></li><li>New blood, that is, the new dancers who would have come to tango has stopped flowing for nearly a year. What does that do to a village when reproduction stops and the toddlers also died out? (Tango "toddlers" are the dancer who were one- and two-year-olds tanguer@s when the pandemic started.) </li><li><span>And my biggest concern as a therapist mentioned above: Some dancers have been traumatized by this pandemic. The tragedy is abundant: Friends and family have died, even dancers you knew. M</span>any dancers will be forever changed in the way they understand a hug from a stranger. The pool of people who will continue to hug may shrink. That, I fear will shrink a dance whose foundation is a musical hug.</li></ul></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>How was the pre-pandemic embrace in your community?</b><br />Something else adds to my concern: A warm tango embrace was <i>already rare</i> in many communities. That should send off an alarm bell if you love tango. If indeed touch is the epicenter of tango's survival, then many communities may have already been in decline before the pandemic even started. Does the "close embrace" make many in your community uncomfortable? I have a frank suggestion for touch-avoidant dancers: Consider learning how to dance ballroom which is mostly a museum of dead dances. Do you have any friends going out to dance the Viennese Waltz, the Quick-Step lately? No? How about the Paso Doble? Museums have signs everywhere: "<b>Don't Touch!</b>" <br /><br />Once it is safe again, just as it was after the 1918 pandemic, tango will live again as long as the embrace is warm and gladly given.</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><br /></span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></div></div><br /><b>Note: </b> This post completes 12 years of Tango-Therapist and the 418th post. Many have stayed with me that long. Thank you for your kind words and support. The research I have put into many posts has been a great education for me, and I hope for my readers.<br /> --Mark Word, Thanksgiving Day 2020.<br /><blockquote style="border: none; margin: 0px 0px 0px 40px; padding: 0px; text-align: left;"><br /></blockquote><div><div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;">Photo credit: <i>This photo is about the importance of children pointing, but I like the image of God as a child giving life to Adam (humanity). God knows that touch gives life. Children know. Adults have to think about it, or discover it late in life when going to a milonga.</i> https://www.adam-mila.com/milestones/language-development/pointing/</div><div style="border-image: none 100% / 1 / 0 stretch;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br /></div><div class="t m0 x1 h3 y3 ff1 fs1 fc0 sc0 ls6 ws0" style="-webkit-text-stroke: 0.015em transparent; background-color: white; bottom: 1221.2px; font-family: ff1; font-size: 48px; height: 33.4219px; left: 95.6613px; letter-spacing: -0.0096px; line-height: 0.912109; position: absolute; text-shadow: none; transform-origin: 0px 100%; transform: matrix(0.411765, 0, 0, 0.411765, 0, 0); unicode-bidi: bidi-override; visibility: visible; white-space: pre;"><span class="ls2" style="letter-spacing: 0px; position: relative; unicode-bidi: bidi-override;">
</span></div>
</div>
<ul>
</ul>
</div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-27548777802202892092020-10-24T17:10:00.000-04:002020-10-24T17:10:51.000-04:00Dancing through life with balance<div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="4a0ac-0-0" style="background-color: white;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #1c1e21; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHvpcMBCVqV0NK-B5b5pprzGvbrWh7MPjEUWaGN3Amhad-3kfhWn_qSf7dyBhnTp8w5a4XjD0TjnBigA4GJILMsTmwVgWhv8L2uoFSXRPz6Jd9beDNC42jLx3BBbmcF4i8UB8RXzXW20/s800/Tightrope+tango.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="534" data-original-width="800" height="311" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXHvpcMBCVqV0NK-B5b5pprzGvbrWh7MPjEUWaGN3Amhad-3kfhWn_qSf7dyBhnTp8w5a4XjD0TjnBigA4GJILMsTmwVgWhv8L2uoFSXRPz6Jd9beDNC42jLx3BBbmcF4i8UB8RXzXW20/w464-h311/Tightrope+tango.jpg" width="464" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; color: #1c1e21; font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: center; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4a0ac-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span><span style="font-size: large;">he tango community</span> is filled with people who are a rare breed of humanity. <br /><br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4a0ac-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;">Throughout time, people who learn the arts with passion often look at the world in a different way. What makes tango and my tango friends special, I think, is that this art form has its origins in social connection and improvisation. <br /><i><b><br />Tango is a rare "performing art" for just two people.</b></i><br /><br />Even though tango has a special place among the arts, all artists--passionate dancers, artists, musicians--have at least a chance of looking at <i>all of life</i> in a deeper way. I think the passion for dancing tango helps people to find a more harmonized world view. Ancient civilizations or any modern country that appreciates the arts has more of a three-dimensional view of life in general. Tango, with its social, improvisational core, makes it <i>especially</i> wonderful for helping people gain a multi-dimensional world-view.<br /><br />I have garnered many close friendships from dancing tango with people from all over the world. And the one thing that is most amazing is not that tango is a universal body language, but it also helps all of us be more balanced in our world-views. The world around us tends to try to understand reality empirically. That is good but limited. In a sense, it is the "body" or "outward manifestation" model. The ancient Greeks had a great way of explaining three ways to understand reality. This is the artist's view, a three-dimensional model to look at the perceptual world: Body, soul and spirit. This 3-D model is a common way for truly amazing tango dancers to see the world, and here below I think, is how they understand their art. <br /></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4a0ac-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span></font></font></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4a0ac-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><span style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;"><font size="5"><b>Harmonizing of a 3-D World</b>
</font><font size="4"> Body (outward expression model)
Soul (the balance of intellect & emotion model)
Spirit (energy & flow model)</font></span></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="4ujmv-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="4ujmv-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit">
<span data-offset-key="4ujmv-0-0"><b>BODY</b> (Greek: <i>soma</i>): <b>Health Model:</b> <i>Wellness</i>-focused dancers take care of their body's health. They avoid over-use, which leads to injury and pain. She sleeps, eats, and exercises to maintain bodily health. A healthy body relies on other qualities from soul and spirit. A healthy middle ear is the only reason a dancer can physically balance. This type of balance is only an <i>analogy</i> of the balance of intellect and emotion (soul).</span></font></div><font face="inherit">
</font></div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="3mqj6-0-0" style="background-color: white;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3mqj6-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit"><font color="#1c1e21"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>SOUL</b> (Greek: <i>psyche*</i>). <b>Balance Model:</b> A long-term excellent dancer who has emotional and intellectual balance is creative, passionate but intellectually aware. The balance (soul) model is dissimilar to the body <i>wellness/sickness</i> model of the soul. "Mental health" exists in ancient literature but only as poetry and analogy. Still today, "mental health," is simply a way for "therapists" (from Greek "healers") to be accepted into the payment side of insurance and the medical system. Have a <i>balanced</i> soul but a <i>healthy</i> body! Even then with balance and wellness, finally, where does energy/flow come from? Something is missing, and that is the third model of Spirit.</span></font></font></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="3ub90-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><font face="inherit">
</font></div>
<div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="3q3gu-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="3q3gu-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit"><b>SPIRIT </b>(Greek: <i>pneuma*</i>). <b>Energy Flow Model</b>: Certain dancers, although older, may have a huge reservoir of energy flow or Chi. Where does that come from? Sometimes the ONLY time they really have great energy is when they are dancing. When the music stops, they may even limp off the dance floor and are weary again.
</font></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="ceg5r-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="bkkja-0-0" style="background-color: white;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="bkkja-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">How well are you harmonizing these three models in your dance, or for that matter, your life? Look around. Many apparently good dancers may have dead-end dance and personal lives. They mistreat their body with over-use, poor sleep, too much alcohol, or push themselves to dance when they are not </span></font><b style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">well</b><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">. Even if the body is well, perhaps they may not be </span></font><b style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">balanced </b><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">in their psyche because they spend too much on intellectual </span></font><font color="#1c1e21"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">choreography</span></font><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;"> or are passionate but too much in their own world. Or perhaps, they are healthy in body and balanced with emotion and intellect, but some dancers may be burnout, leaving tango because they lack </span></font><b style="color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; white-space: pre-wrap;">energy flow. </b><font color="#1c1e21" face="inherit"><span style="white-space: pre-wrap;">Their energy may wain or be totally blocked by events in their life which will cause this energy to go off on some other tangent.</span></font></font></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="cqgnf-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="cqgnf-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><br /></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="80qnh-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="80qnh-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit"><span style="font-size: medium;">Harmonizing body, soul, and spirit is the ancient way of harmonizing everything, including dancing</span>. Isn't dance one of the most ancient wonders of the world? Being a healthy, balanced, and spirited dancer makes you a living ancient wonder in our modern myopic health-and-body-focused world. You, a tango dancer, have learned, indirectly perhaps, a three-dimensional view. That is why you love the dance and the people in the community who organically see many of the world issues similarly and harmonize with the planet more than most communities to which they belong. </font></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="80qnh-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit"><br /></font></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="80qnh-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit">My hope is to my body, soul, and spirit into everything you do.</font></div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="80qnh-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><font face="inherit"><br /></font></div></div><div data-block="true" data-editor="316t4" data-offset-key="fgq0a-0-0"><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fgq0a-0-0" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; direction: ltr; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; position: relative; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</div><div class="_1mf _1mj" data-offset-key="fgq0a-0-0" style="direction: ltr; position: relative;"><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9JHFxyAapfmz9T35i5Al3v4DqOTXdGBHcwE-FqSLNoYjKP2KGRIrUtnKVwUR9Q0pCXf-QvT-_173E0eLDDAavuG0poT8EhDMKdh2EWlefsAsaaxzVra4J5LxJwe3Xej0B9b-NuqKocs/s1600/Screenshot+2020-04-11+at+17.11.44.png" style="font-family: helvetica, arial, sans-serif; margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="554" data-original-width="772" height="229" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw9JHFxyAapfmz9T35i5Al3v4DqOTXdGBHcwE-FqSLNoYjKP2KGRIrUtnKVwUR9Q0pCXf-QvT-_173E0eLDDAavuG0poT8EhDMKdh2EWlefsAsaaxzVra4J5LxJwe3Xej0B9b-NuqKocs/s320/Screenshot+2020-04-11+at+17.11.44.png" width="320" /></a></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-family: inherit; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;">*Spirit in Greek is <i>pneuma. </i>and means breath, wind, and spirit in Ancient Greek. Other words used by ancient writers used <i>shakti (Sanskrit) </i>and <i>chi (Chinese)</i>.
**<i>Psyche </i>does not mean the "mind" in Greek but means "soul" which is a balance of emotions and intellect.
Note: Did you notice that I did not have to explain <i>soma,</i> "body." Everyone seems to understand the empirical, externalized, non-contemplative, what-you-see-is-what-you-get model. :-)</div><font face="inherit" style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; white-space: pre-wrap;">
</font><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px; text-align: left; white-space: pre-wrap;">Photo credits:
<ul style="text-align: left;"><li>Balancing tango dancers. "Tightrope Tango" by Christopher Clark <a href="http://www.christopherclark.com/" style="background-color: transparent;">http://www.christopherclark.com/</a> </li><li>Spirit, soul, body graphic: <a href="https://www.slideshare.net/salvation123/spirit-soul-bodyr1">https://www.slideshare.net/salvation123/spirit-soul-bodyr1</a></li></ul></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #1c1e21; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><font face="inherit">
</font></div></div></div>
Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-34598791344878198542020-09-06T19:45:00.000-04:002020-09-06T19:45:15.966-04:00A Sexless Marriage and the Mystery of Tango<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpIgSQwz8L7Aa3DDLgSCp1FuSeFeKCFzPe9pqxWlyDM8KkqPzk0GM03Tdb_rD5QiHrI172-OviP0bNtqJqGb1NLjVuzRLyLkRv3YpKJwL24ebEFDvoSSljdYGYKe6hzmTWsJcRA81Rpo/s700/Sexless+marriage+hands.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="700" data-original-width="665" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjZpIgSQwz8L7Aa3DDLgSCp1FuSeFeKCFzPe9pqxWlyDM8KkqPzk0GM03Tdb_rD5QiHrI172-OviP0bNtqJqGb1NLjVuzRLyLkRv3YpKJwL24ebEFDvoSSljdYGYKe6hzmTWsJcRA81Rpo/s320/Sexless+marriage+hands.jpg" /></a></div><br /><span style="font-size: large;">When I was new to tango</span>, I was single. I was in a new job, and for three years I was a perfectly happy single man. This was the longest period that I was not in a relationship in my whole life. Tango was enough--at least for a time. It was a good time to get to know myself. Social dance filled a void.<br /><p></p><p><span>As a therapist, I have been fascinated by social interactions in tango, my own and others'. Let's say that I was distracted a bit from this mysterious phenomenon, I will call the "tango-is-enough phenomenon."<br /><br /><b>The Sexless Marriage</b><br />A while back, I was astounded</span> with a story from a <i>confidante</i> that she was having an extra-marital affair before starting tango. But tango was enough, she said. She stopped seeing her lover. Her sexless marriage drove her to seek out what she was missing, but the extramarital affair, she found, was not as fulfilling as tango. Tango was enough. She didn't have time for something that suddenly felt shallow.<br /><br />Astounding.<br /><br />Then I heard the story again! And again! But then I thought about it. Why am I astounded when that was my experience too that tango is enough? <br /></p><p><b>Mystery versus the Myth of Passion</b><br />I realize that for those who understand the social interaction in a tango community, these stories will not seem that unusual. All I am suggesting here is that the tango-is-enough phenomenon is unfortunately overpowered by stories of tango passion and gossip-worthy scandals. Something is very precious about this phenomenon of tango being better than an affair. You know, people meet each other in bowling clubs, or book clubs, at work, or whatever. Then the love affair/marriage might follow. But do other activities you know of stop extra-marital affairs?* There is a mystery here. Something is strange at the quantum biophysics level. :-)</p><p><b>Lock-Down to Think About Things</b><br />During this pandemic, as we go into flu season, we have a chance to realize more about the mystery of life and what is important to us. What brings us to be grateful? Pandemic or not, many of the elements of the beauty of life are requesting our intention and attention. The many facets of tango are still there--connections with others, listening to music, dancing ecstatically alone, learning more about the music and orchestras, and most of all being in the zone, mindful in all things. <br /><br />I suggest staying in the present, full of joy. Tango is not just a dance but the way to understand that life is meant to be a mystery, lived in the present, and that the mystery of happiness is enough, joy is enough, life is enough. Tango is merely a sweet signpost along the way to keep us on this path.</p><p><br /></p><p>*<span style="font-size: x-small;">Even though tango just indeed may be enough, my suggestion to the sex-deprived spouses (sometimes both having affairs) is that they seek marital counseling, specifically a sex therapist. <br /><br /><br /></span>Photo credit: Need a ring?<span class="trans dtrans hdb" lang="en" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; color: #0580e8; vertical-align: initial;"><span style="color: #1d2a57; font-family: arial, helvetica, hiragino sans gb, microsoft yahei, wenquanyi micro hei, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"> </span></span></span><a href="https://www.damiani.com/us/en/" style="box-sizing: border-box; color: #1d2a57; display: inline !important; font-family: arial, helvetica, "hiragino sans gb", "microsoft yahei", "wenquanyi micro hei", sans-serif; font-size: 17px;">https://www.damiani.com/us/en/</a></p><div class="di-body normal-entry-body" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="pos-body" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="sense-block pr dsense dsense-noh" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; border-color: rgb(255, 255, 255); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 3px; box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 30px; position: relative;"><div class="sense-body dsense_b" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box;"><div class="def-block ddef_block" data-wl-senseid="SE00039911" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; padding-left: 10px; padding-right: 10px;"><div class="def-body ddef_b ddef_b-t" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; margin-bottom: 20px;"><div class="examp dexamp" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 1.4; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-right: 22px; margin-top: 20px; padding-left: 12px; position: relative;"><span class="trans dtrans hdb" lang="en" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0580e8; display: block; font-family: arial, helvetica, "hiragino sans gb", "microsoft yahei", "wenquanyi micro hei", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; vertical-align: initial;"><br /></span><span class="trans dtrans hdb" lang="en" style="-webkit-font-smoothing: antialiased; box-sizing: border-box; color: #0580e8; display: block; font-family: arial, helvetica, "hiragino sans gb", "microsoft yahei", "wenquanyi micro hei", sans-serif; font-size: 17px; vertical-align: initial;"><br /></span></div></div></div></div></div></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-35063872100191765332020-08-22T17:11:00.005-04:002020-08-22T17:32:50.402-04:00The Best Pandemic Tango Ever<p> </p><div><span face="" style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: roboto, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkkqQPMbGhFQNROKc69MXmJL80r77oUYYirXjniSYdhuopB6PVTX75Gn1hD_gtuIxizVueCp3xlvxlYN1TzPTcbwpow4Z8GjnMWngciStgqNmlruMC3UzCOUQ_hJhjS702MWBQIZ6cV1I/s291/pandemic+stamp.jpeg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="173" data-original-width="291" height="270" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjkkqQPMbGhFQNROKc69MXmJL80r77oUYYirXjniSYdhuopB6PVTX75Gn1hD_gtuIxizVueCp3xlvxlYN1TzPTcbwpow4Z8GjnMWngciStgqNmlruMC3UzCOUQ_hJhjS702MWBQIZ6cV1I/w455-h270/pandemic+stamp.jpeg" width="455" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><span face="" style="color: #222222;"><br /></span></div></span></div><div><font size="6">W</font><span style="font-size: xx-large;"><font><span style="font-size: xx-large;">hat is <i>pandemic</i> tango?</span><span style="font-size: medium;"> </span><br /><br />Or even</font> w</span><font size="6">hat is <i>endemic</i></font><span style="font-size: xx-large;"> tango?</span></div><div><br /></div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><i>Endemic</i> and <i>pandemic</i> are not words only meant for disease! In fact, these words have nothing to do with disease directly. They have the same base meaning: -<i>demic</i> means "population." <i>En</i>-demic is in-the-population and <i>pan</i>-demic is throughout-the-population from the original Greek. </span><div><span style="font-size: x-large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: x-large;">For those who follow this blog, I have suggested the four endemic M's in tango--Music, Motion, eMbrace, and Mindfulness. Some friends even have suggested Manners (etiquette), and eMotion to make it six M's. These "Ms" are pandemic to tango--present in the tango community no matter where you go. Some of these M's may be really a lot more important to you now that you have not been dancing much.<br /><br />So be mindful of what you miss during this time of being separated from your love of dance. That defines what your body and mind seek out the most essential elements of tango.</span><div><br /><div><font size="4"><b>The Element We Most Miss</b><br />Endemic to tango, at least for social tango, is the embrace, and many tango dancers miss the embrace the most during our physical distancing during this pandemic phase of our lives. A colleague at work was the first person to touch me. We worried that she would die, and she was in the intensive care unit. I really didn't know her very well, but when she came back to work, I told her that I had prayed for her every day. She wanted to embrace me, but she settled on a handshake. It felt so amazing to have social contact again. </font></div><div><font size="4"><br /><b>Let's be positive and proactive</b><br />Using the word "endemic"--prevalent or characteristic--helps us get back to basics to what dance really means. Maybe it is not the social touch for you. But what is the positive pandemic element in tango for you? What is always present and important to you?</font></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><b>A Prediction</b><br />At least for me, I think that I have also found what is endemic to a healthy life. This forced break from tango has brought me to see some of the positive things that have sprung up: More reading, more deep sleep, more important projects that have been neglected, more conversations with my partner--these are also endemic to a healthy life. As horrible as COVID-19 has been--as with all its tragedies--we humans can also find ways of surviving and being better. It is not a normal outcome of tragedies, but it can and does often happen. I predict that many will transform their tango to be more regulated with earlier milongas and better sleep, and certainly, we will all be much better huggers when this is all over.</span></div></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span>If you wish to contact me: mark.word1@gmail.com .</div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;">Definition of <i>pandemic</i> is from <a href="https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/pandemic" target="_blank">Webster's</a></span></div><div>Photo credit: <span style="font-size: small;"> <a href="https://danielcameronmd.com/time-to-designate-lyme-disease-as-a-pandemic/">https://danielcameronmd.com/time-to-designate-lyme-disease-as-a-pandemic/</a></span></div><div><span style="font-size: large;"><br /></span></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-75540666095578573232020-08-11T22:01:00.004-04:002020-08-15T20:30:12.899-04:00Tango and Reincarnation<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEaFLdPgVF20sGg2PCbo5myYJ2KI1rPbY7wH990Cbc9j_tiu-11omj7RO2pvrU-QwJZtyBVSB3uRmycdK2pZ7SckEotj4OB8LO02O6LSHeGpBDXMQIqJYiSugDBqPi_hfnW5VTKW3SGJA/s1600/reincarnation-past-life.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="472" data-original-width="715" height="211" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEaFLdPgVF20sGg2PCbo5myYJ2KI1rPbY7wH990Cbc9j_tiu-11omj7RO2pvrU-QwJZtyBVSB3uRmycdK2pZ7SckEotj4OB8LO02O6LSHeGpBDXMQIqJYiSugDBqPi_hfnW5VTKW3SGJA/s320/reincarnation-past-life.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-large;">R</span><span style="font-size: large;">eincarnation means something different in tango.</span> <br />
<br />
Juan D'Arienzo's orchestra plays and you embody the music in a totally different way than if Troilo's orchestra is playing. When your body changes so much, I would argue that this is a type of new "incarnation." A new tanda starts, and then the next orchestra is Di Sarli. Now your incarnation of the music transforms you yet again.<br /><br />
So this sort of "reincarnation" is possible when we dancers let go of all the steps we have learned. Reincarnation happens by listening to the music rather than nervously trying to knit one' "moves" all together during a tanda. Let that go! Breathe. Reincarnate as the music guides you to a new embodiment, moving uniquely through this present tanda.<br />
<br />Really it's bad karma to dance the same way to no matter what music is playing.<br /><br />Why wait to die to be reincarnated the old way? Each tanda, each orchestra, really each song gives you the chance at reincarnation. I do not want to be flippant about Hindews or others who truly believe in reincarnation, but isn't it sad to leave your partner behind in reincarnation? Tango offers reincarnation with a partner; nirvana with a partner; heaven-on-earth with a partner. If we get to choose, I choose reincarnation with every tanda and with every partner. During a pandemic, it may mean dancing with a broom, dancing alone, but whatever you do--experience reincarnation regularly.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://anomalien.com/reincarnation-hypnosis-and-how-to-recall-past-lives/">Photo credit</a>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-46049357276659243212020-07-13T21:30:00.000-04:002020-07-13T21:30:13.285-04:00Generalizing Tango Ecstacy during the pandemic<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV36wUDafjp7QKGneWBcbdZjNcQxOIZ2gFVvZZYv8Jq37l57XxPbBCVSjawnkU1-9x8pvTMyBcrnCn-MV6xw8qk6X3eKFsE2aaH5J-la5yf5JHiHpVoepa9X1CpA4Ncf0DFkqKhk-t4t4/s663/steets+of+gold.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="373" data-original-width="663" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiV36wUDafjp7QKGneWBcbdZjNcQxOIZ2gFVvZZYv8Jq37l57XxPbBCVSjawnkU1-9x8pvTMyBcrnCn-MV6xw8qk6X3eKFsE2aaH5J-la5yf5JHiHpVoepa9X1CpA4Ncf0DFkqKhk-t4t4/s320/steets+of+gold.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><b><font size="6">
M</font><font size="5">oments of tango ecstasy</font></b> are generalizing to other places in my life. Did you ever feel like you were walking on the streets of heaven--even a bit lost? Well, with any luck, you will <i>stay lost</i>!<div><div><br /></div><div>Let me explain "generalizing." If a person has a specific anxiety for driving over tall bridges, for example, that anxiety may become <i>generalized</i> into being afraid of any bridge, such as an overpass. Now the fear is starting to grow to the point that no driving is possible without debilitating fear. Driving and perhaps even going out of the house becomes difficult. This person probably has <b>Generalized Anxiety Disorder</b> (GAD). COVID-19 is creating temporary and even permanent GAD symptoms in the world. What can we do to help others or ourselves?*</div><div><br /></div><div><b>GAD is not you</b><br />Today's disorder-focused world of psychology tends to see the world with dark glasses on, that is, modern psychology focuses on what is wrong--something that psychologists would quickly point out as being abnormal if one of their patients did this. But whose calling who crazy here?! </div><div><br /></div><div>So let's do just something more positive:<br /><br /><b>Generalized Ecstasy Delight</b> (GED not GAD)<br />A more positive generalized emotion is ecstasy, or joy, or happiness. Worry can be "nurtured" but other emotions can also be nurtured. Why not? Positive experiences make this possible only when we generalize the positive emotions we found with tango. I think that tango has enriched my life so much as to generalize its beauty to other activities, other new or old passions. My connection to my partner, my meditative spiritual practice, my joy at work, my love of nature--all these help me to nurture my GED. Thank you tango! I see tango--really dance and music--as a path, pointing to other ways to find joy in all things. The pandemic cannot take away ecstasy if this emotion becomes generalized. It doesn't just happen; it's a Quest.</div><div>
<br />
Generalized-Ecstasy-Delight moments show us a path, the way <i>of and to</i> joy and ecstasy. The path is the process, not just some destination. Meet you on the golden streets of Nirvana? Let's get lost there!</div><div><br /></div><div><div style="text-align: center;">_________//_________<br />// </div>
<br /><br /></div><div>Maybe you or another person you love is fighting with Generalized Anxiety Disorder? Here is a step-by-step alternative to the symptoms which describe GAD:</div><div><br /></div><div><span id="docs-internal-guid-b34a436e-7fff-5ef0-fb1e-f8c03733bf6c"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.38; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"></p><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt; white-space: pre-wrap;"> GED (Generalized Ecstatic Delight) versus</span></div><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 18pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 18pt;"> GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder)</span></div></span><span style="font-family: Arial; font-size: 10pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: 10pt;"> By Mark Word</span></div></span><p></p><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div dir="ltr" style="margin-left: 0pt; text-align: left;"><table style="border-collapse: collapse; border: none; text-align: center;"><colgroup><col width="244"></col><col width="238"></col></colgroup><tbody><tr style="height: 60.75pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Generalized Anxiety Disorder </span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> GAD symptoms</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt; text-align: center;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 13pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; font-weight: 700; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Generalized Ecstatic Delight</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"><br /></span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 14pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;"> GED resiliencies</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Persistent worrying or anxiety about a number of areas that are out of proportion to the impact of the events</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Persistent ecstasy and delight in more than one avocation, person, group, activity. Even the simple things in life bring enjoyment</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Overthinking plans and solutions to all possible worst-case outcomes</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Visualizing plans and ideas that give great enjoyment in creative thought</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Perceiving situations and events as threatening, even when they aren't</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Finding ecstasy in situations and events even as others may see these as “mundane”: Connection to others, a simple walk alone, gratitude that comes easy</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Difficulty handling uncertainty</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Riding the wave of uncertainty as a chance for psychological or spiritual growth</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Indecisiveness and fear of making the wrong decision</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Allowing decisions to be an example of being human and doing our best from what we know</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Inability to set aside or let go of a worry</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Living in the present (mindful) rather in the past (regret/depression) or future (worry/anxiety)</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Inability to relax, feeling restless, and feeling keyed up or on edge</span></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Living in serenity & courage with wisdom coaching when one or the other is chosen for the moment</span></p></td></tr><tr style="height: 0pt;"><td style="background-color: #f4cccc; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Difficulty concentrating, or the feeling that your mind "goes blank"</span></p><br /><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Credit: <a href="https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/generalized-anxiety-disorder/symptoms-causes/syc-20360803" target="_blank">Mayo Clinic’s symptoms of GAD</a></span></p><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><br /></p></td><td style="background-color: #d9ead3; border-bottom: solid #000000 1pt; border-left: solid #000000 1pt; border-right: solid #000000 1pt; border-top: solid #000000 1pt; overflow-wrap: break-word; overflow: hidden; padding: 5pt 5pt 5pt 5pt; vertical-align: top;"><p dir="ltr" style="line-height: 1.2; margin-bottom: 0pt; margin-top: 0pt;"><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">Practicing using a balance of intellect/emotions (</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-style: italic; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">psyche</span><span style="background-color: transparent; font-family: "Times New Roman"; font-size: 12pt; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; vertical-align: baseline; white-space: pre-wrap;">) beyond just constant inner talk, such, as visualizing, feeling the pulse in different places in the body, being attentive to sensations, noises, the awesome sound of silence or music. Blank is good</span></p></td></tr></tbody></table></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div></span></div><div><div style="text-align: left;"><font size="2">Note about GAD: Many people have unresolved PTSD and not GAD. Medication alone is usually insufficient to help combat anxiety. Ancient peoples did not call it therapy, but the same principle is what "treats" it: One must face the anxiety in order to overcome it. "If you fall off the horse, get back on." Sounds simple, but it's not for the person who must do it.<br /><br />*Feeling safe is not necessarily good. </font><span style="font-size: small;">Grandiose Delusional Disorder allows people to believe they are safe when they are not during this and all other pandemics in human history, but that is another story.)</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div><div>Photo credit: <a href="https://environmentandamericanlit.wordpress.com/2016/09/18/streets-of-gold/" target="_blank">Streets of Gold</a><br /><br /><br /></div></div></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-81287213959282503932020-06-28T21:57:00.004-04:002020-06-29T16:55:37.233-04:00Why I am not ready to dance yet<div class="separator"><div style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="505" data-original-width="580" height="349" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4F_OVQB2iyJhPF5t9v5lNWlnwKzt2vPWiQLq6lZ3TT3zsu6BNZ6tt8ZqRnQJDZhQpBqI0VipXs11HKXD_rJvp2OdHqEFU4V0TkbR0FJGEawWNgbweoW7vHhQaKEBKLuSlL8byRunvd40/w400-h349/IMG_4767.JPG" width="400" /></div></div><br /><div><font size="6">Are you ready or not?<br /><br /></font></div><div><font size="6">I am not. <br /></font><br />Perhaps, if it were safe, we'd all be ready to go. But it's not safe, and I have things to do!<br /><br />I don't want to spend a moment of time pining over the pandemic, and then miss what I can work on under the circumstances. I wish it were all over for everyone--especially those who are sick and dying--but wishing for an early end seems unrealistic.<br /><br />What is realistic is avoiding futile wishes for it all to disappear, as a few politicians have predicted and wished. Please join me in a search of personal growth as a dancers and as a people during this tragic time. The pandemic gives us all an opportunity to learn something. Here is a list of things that I am working on:</div><div><br /><font size="5">1. Build a robust im</font><font size="5">mune system insomuch a as I am able before dancing again.</font> If you dance long enough, you will join me in the over-65 risk group for COVID-19 or other possible epidemics in the future. This is the time to get really smart out bolstering my immune system. Before the pandemic, I had completed a post's draft on some insights for tango about tango's unique help in <a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2020/02/tango-and-microbiome.html" target="_blank">building our immune system</a>. Pre-pandemic, I had read the book, <i><a href="https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23644794-10-human" target="_blank">10% Human</a>, </i>and I do everything I can to build and maintain a robust immune system. It was perfect timing to read that book. See footnotes for more on the immune system for dancers.</div><div><br /></div><div><font size="5">2. Become a better breather before I dance again. </font> It will make you a better dancer. I incorporate better breathing into my own dance-alone practice. The pandemic teaches us that our respiratory system needs to be exercised. I regularly do breath-work. Let me give you some resources and ideas that may change your dance and even help increase you level of wellness (given at the bottom of this post). <br /><br /></div><div><div><font size="5">3. Establish the best sleep discipline of my life before I dance again.</font> Then you will realize how often <a href="#https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2019/06/tangos-worst-health-risk.html" id="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2019/06/tangos-worst-health-risk.html" name="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2019/06/tangos-worst-health-risk.html" target="_blank">tango may have been harming your health</a>. Be part of a revolution of early milongas, encuentros, festivals. It is already happening in my area. Before the pandemic, organizers gave 7-10 or 11pm a try, and more people came out than ever for these Saturday milongas. Be a part of the<a href="https://tango-therapist.blogspot.com/2019/06/the-early-milonga-revolution.html" target="_blank"> Early Milonga Revolution</a>, but start good sleep habits now while you have the time and focus. <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5MuIMqhT8DM" target="_blank">Sleep scientists</a> came up with the simple equation: Sleep better = dance longer in life with a better sex life too. No kidding.</div></div><div><br /></div><div><font size="5">4. Establish foot health--the best I have had since starting tango.</font> Have you noticed the healing process of your worn-out feet? My feet are so much better off! Pay attention to your feet so they do not wish that the pandemic is their best friend. You'll need your whole body-with-feet, soul, and spirit happy to dance again.</div><div><br /></div><div><font size="5">5. Take lessons online</font> to support your own development and your favorite teacher. You can get a degree online, meet with your doctor online, meet with a therapist online. You can learn tango online too. Amazing but true.</div><div><br /></div><div><font size="5">6. Finally, learn more about tango music.</font> Can you name a rock band when it plays? Can you even tell which album or approximate year your favorite band played a particular song? Do that with tango. It's easy: I suggest a book like <i>Tango Stories</i>, or simply write "Laurenz tanda" or "DiSarli tanda" in a YouTube search. Play only one orchestra as you are doing chores or dancing by yourself or with your partner. Become good at the game "Name that Tune" when i comes to tango music.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have a lot of work to do to prepare for the return of our milongas. <i>We may be in solitary confinement, but I can hear you dancing in the cell next to me, and that brings me joy.</i><br /><br /><br /><br /><b>Footnotes for tasks 1 and 2 above.</b><br /><br /><b>1. Immune system ideas</b><br /><ul style="text-align: left;"><li>I learned that one's immune system is harmed on a long-term basis by social distancing because sharing our individual microbiome through social contact makes us healthier. However, this is not true during a pandemic, but we need to get back to dancing eventually! Many people are older in our tango community and make up many of the best dancers. So if you want to dance long, work on this first task more than anything else. </li><li>How old were you when you heard the word "antibiotic"? What about "probiotic"? My spell checker still has not heard of "probiotic." This is our problem. We kill micorbes and viruses and fungi without knowing that through good nutrition we get all of these living in our bodies and helping us. Nutrition and knowledge about the microbiome are essential to overcome even what your primary care physician does not know about your health. Learn now and dance longer!</li><li>My experience working in as a behavioral health consultant in a primary care clinic is that our <i>habits, behaviors, and emotions</i> are the things that keep us healthy or get our bodies unwell. Far fewer of the problems we confront in primary care are from our patients' genetic disposition. So change some habits, maybe? <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_autoimmune_diseases" target="_blank">A long list of immune system diseases</a> creates a certain equation: Immune system disorders = less dancing in your life. Do what you can in order to dance long and well. Prepare now.</li></ul><b>2. Better breathing resources:</b><br /><ul><li>Read "<i>Breath: The Science and Lost Art of Breathing</i> by David Nestor. This book has changed my life. It was just published in May 2020. I am a better breather than ever before and no longer breath through my mouth at night because of this book. At least, I suggest listening to <a href="https://www.npr.org/transcripts/862963172" target="_blank">the NPR podcast with the author</a>. I sleep so much better now.</li><li>Yoga breathing. Make one or more of the many breathwork styles your own. Follow them exactly at first and then improvise tango-style. :-) I like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MDinbiY1lH4&list=PLpvclDyHq8Kag5S3MAeJ0KSAcIMek2t4u&index=7&t=0s" target="_blank">this breathing technique</a>, but I use my heartbeat to determine how long I hold my breath. Get curious and <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TPWRROyrus&list=PLpvclDyHq8Kag5S3MAeJ0KSAcIMek2t4u&index=7" target="_blank">learn more</a> from a yoga teacher.</li><li>Learn about the Wim Hoff Method. I started in 2019. The method includes breathing and retention. I like <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EI9MBkXbyRk&t=808s" target="_blank">this video</a> the most. After a long retention, I feel euphoric all day. Cold-water exposure is a part of this method. The Method has changed my immune system for the better. I am less and less reactive to allergens. </li><li>May I suggest my own invention I use with anxiety patients? My style of the "Game of Thrones" is breathing more often and as a habit. That means, deep breathing each time you are on the "throne." (Men: it's time to sit down.) People who die, pee their pants <b>because finally they are fully relaxed</b>. I was frustrated that people did not practice. So this is a "health coach" hack: If you breathe deeply for at least 8 times, then retain for a while and exhale on the toilet, you will empty your bladder some more because you are more relaxed. Important: do this on the throne. Here's the game of "thrones" motto: <i>"Don't wait until you're dead to finally relax and pee." </i></li></ul></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-3353832394833975992020-05-25T14:49:00.001-04:002020-05-25T14:50:57.196-04:00Tango Withdrawal Symptoms<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1slhxDhJ_xVRSYfS12CgYrBYus9tu6PZmgbyFkcNNXfEOnSk4bZ3LSTYwC4ELRTI224nKgBavqK2gYMi1_2qPix_c4ADH-RMbg0Za30P7aFvvlQltC7yrF4cGR3a6Ji_qkphFPiRHf40/" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="675" data-original-width="1200" height="225" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj1slhxDhJ_xVRSYfS12CgYrBYus9tu6PZmgbyFkcNNXfEOnSk4bZ3LSTYwC4ELRTI224nKgBavqK2gYMi1_2qPix_c4ADH-RMbg0Za30P7aFvvlQltC7yrF4cGR3a6Ji_qkphFPiRHf40/w400-h225/stages-of-alcohol-withdrawal-for-women.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><font size="6">I have some good news</font><font size="4"> for tango addicts: </font>It's unlikely that you are going through a true tango addiction withdrawal. It's been hard, but you will come out better on the other end. This is why:<br /><br />What many dancers I know are experiencing lately has been refreshing: More time to read and do things they wanted to do. As for me, I am sleeping really well. I have read several great books. I meditate a lot. I am in contact with more old friends. I see that others have been talking on social media about all the things they are doing. "<a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/208267570251577/" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">I am not dancing tango, so I did this instead</a>..." they write. Life has gone on, and in some respects because of tango, we are better at being social animals even without tango in our lives. The pandemic has given a reprieve to our world's environment and our internal world too.<br /><br /><b>Were we ever really addicted? </b> The word "addiction" is now used to market video games and food; so sure, in the <i>new meaning of the word</i>, everyone reading this blog is probably "addicted." We all might be having a new-aged tango withdrawal! But thank goodness it is not a withdrawal in the outdated medical meaning of the word, <i>which the medical world needs to abandon, as </i>other words have been such as "mentally retarded."</div><div><br /><font size="4"><b>But for the few of you who are addicted,</b></font> this is what addiction would look like in the medical sense of the word:<br /><br /><font size="6">Sudden Tango Cessation Disorder</font><br /><font size="4">Consider Mary.</font> Because of the pandemic, Mary has the common withdrawal symptoms from STCD (sudden tango cessation disorder).* Like typical addiction withdrawal, she suffers from four things: (1) anxiety--panic attacks, restlessness, irritability; (2) depression--social isolation, lack of enjoyment; fatigue, poor appetite; (3) insomnia--both falling asleep and staying asleep; and (4) her mind doesn't work well--she has poor concentration, poor memory. She has many of the physical symptoms of COVID-19 too. That is how she went in for help. The physician reassures her that she will live. The doctor goes to the waiting room. "She will probably go back to dancing at the end of the pandemic," the doctor tells her grieving family. Her mother sobs. </div><div><br /></div><div>True, Mary did not need long hospitalization. Will she ever recover? She may not. </div><div><br />But you will.<br /><br /><font size="6">Your withdrawal </font><font size="4">is probably just a <i><b>withdrawal from tango </b></i>and not a <b>tango withdrawal</b>.</font> There is a difference. In fact, the next time we meet, you may be all the better for this withdrawal from tango. You have a deeper appreciation of the joy of dance and the miracle of a warm embrace. During your withdrawal from tango, you really listened to the music more carefully, and as you dance you better recognized the orchestra you learned to identify better during the pandemic. </div><div><br /></div><div>You are grateful for the things you took for granted. This probably means that you are now addicted to life. And that is a good thing.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*I am making this diagnosis up, of course. But medically defined addictions? They have all these symptoms and can include stroke, heart attacks, and hallucinations. </div><div><br /></div><div>Photo credit: <a href="https://www.aspenridgelakewood.com/recovery-blog/stages-of-alcohol-withdrawal-for-women/">https://www.aspenridgelakewood.com/recovery-blog/stages-of-alcohol-withdrawal-for-women/</a> </div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-35669976784131583642020-05-09T22:49:00.004-04:002020-09-06T16:10:43.596-04:00Time to Dance Alone<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3iPZfnAhOqElHOknThfpB4Wnb4MW6dSM76G1-W_05flGgjd99YQhfxOGmaStwCD9mc57wOMbbPpH32lXioV8Uv51MVeUMTWEb_t-Hkl42U2DN-O394xMACG49WQDoYSf78UnuEUfZwgg/s900/Greek+dancer+by+Jean+Groberg.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="900" data-original-width="747" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi3iPZfnAhOqElHOknThfpB4Wnb4MW6dSM76G1-W_05flGgjd99YQhfxOGmaStwCD9mc57wOMbbPpH32lXioV8Uv51MVeUMTWEb_t-Hkl42U2DN-O394xMACG49WQDoYSf78UnuEUfZwgg/s320/Greek+dancer+by+Jean+Groberg.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: x-large;">T</span><span style="font-size: large;">ango is just a dance, you know.</span></b> It is meant for two people. But sometimes there's a time to dance alone. Dancing allows us to be in our bodies. It makes time stop or race. It makes regular people feel as if the music has them doing things better than anything else they have ever done in life. It's an excuse to hug people and be transported to oxytocin heaven without even knowing each other's names. It transfers warmth to everything we do in life. . . . But it's just a dance. <br /><br />
***<br />
<br />
The pandemic is likely going to bring Jerry to psychological ruin. Tango had pulled him out of a deep depression in 2008. He didn't even know he was depressed, or at least <i>how</i> depressed he was. He found refuge in dancing salsa, and that was fun. Depression's best medication is fun, but tango was not a psychotropic medication--it was therapy <i>and</i> medication.<br />
<br />
"I told myself that I would never be so vulnerable," Jerry tells himself as the first milongas began being canceled. Being cut off from dancing is as scary for him as was getting a divorce. He is afraid that he has let himself fall in love again. He thought he was safe because a dance should not be able to abandon him as a woman could. "This is only a dance!" he tells himself over and over like a mantra.<br />
<br />
He knows this is a bad omen when he starts catastrophizing with slogan-like phrases:<br /><br />"A close embrace will never be the same."<div><br /></div><div>"Everyone will be afraid of microbes and viruses." </div><div><br /></div><div>"Even if things get back to normal, I will be all rusty and lose the flow." <br /><br />"I'll be lonelier than ever before." <br /><br />He looks at himself in the mirror and tells himself to slow the onslaught of negative thoughts. "It will only take over my mind and make me spiral down into despair," his internal psychologist tells him. </div><div><br /></div><div>Tango is just a dance, but his fear of being depressed--not the lack of dancing--is what he truly dreads. Another episode of his blood flowing slowly in his veins looms. Depression knocks at the door.<br /><br />
But that's not going to happen. Tango did not leave him; his wife did.<br />
<br />
Now he has skills he never had before. He just doesn't really know it yet. Like many others in the tango community, life indeed goes on during a pandemic or if a dance partner dies or if a foot gets broken. Jerry, like others, starts connecting to family and friends on video chats and messages and texts. They read books. And tango dances with them through life, but just in a different way.<br />
<br />
His mother is the most amazing connection during the pandemic and this dearth of social touch. Going to his therapist, David, helped him most reconnect to his mother. "I don't want to get on medications again," Jerry warns his on-and-off therapist. "But I am dreaming a lot. Some are okay dreams but they are very vivid. I keep dreaming about my mother, who died in 2018, along with my grandparents the same year."<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />
It is good to reconnect with David, who is his old self, even on a normal video chat, which now federal law allows patients to use during the pandemic. David peers over his glasses and stares at Jerry. He's silent for longer than usual--as if he is stumped by this dream problem. "Well, well ..." he finally says haltingly. "I know you are an agnostic, but you are presenting me with a spiritual issue."<br />
<br />
"How's that?" Jerry retorts.<br />
<br />
"If you're haunted by your dead mother. She is a spirit, and therefore, is this not a spiritual issue?"<br />
<br />
"Not really . . . no, it's not."<br />
<br />
"Okay, then. Do you want to talk about something besides ghosts, then?"<br />
<br />
"Actually, I want to talk about my fear of another bout of depression now that I cannot go dance. But these dreams are bugging me the most."<br />
<br />
"Okay, then tell me what you dream about."'<br />
<br />
"I dream over and over about her casket going into the ground, and I have no feelings. I cannot cry. My ex-wife and my Mom kept in touch after our divorce. I was kind of jealous. Then, just as it truly happened, Nicole comes to the funeral, staying on the out edge of the funeral party. Then and now, these scenes are like a close-up zoom lens. I can only see Nicole there crying as I am numb and cannot cry. I feel jealous that she can cry and I can't. At the same time, the audio is turned up, and I hear the casket being lowered into the ground. People in the funeral party take a shovel full of dirt and throw on the casket. They wait for me to do it too, but I am paralyzed."<br />
<br />
"So who is the producer of this film in your head?" David asks Jerry.<br />
<br />
"I guess, I am."<br />
<br />
"Right. And who is the director?"
<br />
<br />
"Me."<br />
<br />
"Really?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah, who else?"<br />
<br />
Again David is silent and looking over the top edge of his glasses. "You are watching a B movie that no one wants to watch; not even you. And that is because there is no director. Jerry, what do you want me to say? Should I be like a psychoanalyst and find the archetypes and deep meanings of your cast of characters? Should I be a shaman and help you speak with the dead? Or would you prefer that I help you be a better film director to change this shitty movie into something worth watching? It's your choice."<br />
<br />
"Okay, help me with that. That is better than having a spiritual problem."<br />
<br />
"Then just maybe this is a spiritual problem? That you have not spoken to your mother except in B movie films at night? And even then you are the emotionally paralyzed child who has no voice. How would you make this a better film? A film that you would want to watch or want to show to some intimate friend. Would you wait for your dream life to come up with better storylines or would you sit down during the day and create a better film?"
<br />
<br />David and Jerry go on about his worries about the pandemic, how his anxieties are returning, and how depression is his greatest fear. But all of that is a blur. The thing about showing up as a director, that is all he can really remember about their video call. Now the empty director's chair haunts him rather than his mother.<br />
<br />
***<br />
<br />Jerry sits at his desk and pulls out some things he still has from his mother: A cross that she had from her mother. A ring. And some papers that he has forgotten, including a completed a genogram from an undergraduate sociology course. He recalls his mother. She tells him about the family as far back as she knows. He charts dutifully as he had learned in class--that square boxes are for men and circles are for women. Then came the amazing stories from his mother. Her first husband's father had raped her. She has told no one until they sit there together, filling out the genogram. Also, she admits that she had given away her first child to adoption. On a lighter note, she recounts how Jerry's sister is such a natural ballet dancer; how his half-brother is a musician; and his brother is a natural artist and sculptor. She recounts how Jerry was playing guitar even as a toddler. Jerry connects the dots. He is the musician/dancer in a family of artists.<br />
<br />
Jerry stops to think. "Here is a movie worth watching right under my nose." Well, at least he realizes he has something better than the B movie he has been watching in his dreams.<br />
<br />
Memories pour in. Mom teaching the kids to cook, taking them to church, and the words on the wall in light blue, painted with a 3-D effect: "God is Love."<br />
<br />
"I don't want a melancholy movie," the Producer says, leaning over Jerry's Director's Chair.<br />
<br />
"Fuck off. Fire me and get another Director."<br />
<br />
***<br />
"Mom, I want to tell you how it felt when I visited you. I could finally really hug you. I have to admit something. I learned that from tango. I learned to hug people. I had forgotten how. I knew how to do it as a kid. I relearned with my first girlfriend, but after my divorce, I had forgotten. I was even afraid. But I had long stopped hugging you since my teen years. I wish I could've hugged you more. From tango, I learned to dance with the young and the old. I hug the young women, the daughters I never had. Yes, I hug the sexy ladies who miraculously allow me to dance with me because of my musicality. I hug friends who giggled with my playfulness. I hug the older ladies like they were my aunts or even you. So when I visited you, it was easy to hug you again. Do you remember the time we went back to church, and I kissed my old Sunday school teacher on both cheeks as if she were a venerable tango teacher visiting from Argentina? I could see it in her eyes. You both were as surprised as you were delighted. But I just had learned how to do this because of tango. It was a reflex. It was etiquette. It is the new me."<br />
<br />
"And Mom?" Jerry went on, then pausing. "I want to keep hugging you. Holding you long. This feels right. David tells me that I can have a growing relationship with you. And I know how I can do this. When I dance by myself, please come with me. I have danced with others who were hurt like you were in your divorce and sexual assault. They found healing. And I too will find healing dancing with you. I am glad Nicole came to say good-bye to you. It was her right and yours too. It was your right to have all the people who love you to come to your funeral. And she had the right to say goodbye. Maybe death talked to her and told her that we are all connected and the times we loved were the only moments we were truly alive. I am grateful for those moments. Anyway, it was your funeral, sorry that I have been so fucking selfish. . . "<br />
<br />
"Don't say that word, okay Jerry?" a motherly voice says in his head.<br />
<br />
Jerry knows that he has reconnected with his mom at that moment. That voice. It isn't what his mother <i>would say</i>; it is what she <i>is saying</i>. "David was right," he admits to himself. "I have had a spiritual problem."<br />
<br />
The pandemic will give him plenty of time to get back to dancing by "himself." He can work on knowing the music better, knowing Laurenz and Tanturi and some other lesser-known orchestras better. But mostly, he is sure that he can find a deeper sense of himself and a healed past--or better said a "revised past, a different storyline."<br />
<br />
***<br />
In a video group room with tango friends three days later, he hears someone in the group say, "Tango is only a dance, you know."<br />
<br />
"Not in my Movie," he whispers under his breath. The voices in the chat group dim as he reflects: "It is who I am--the musician/dancer who learned his warm embrace from his mother."<br />
<br />
<br /><br /><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Story by Mark Word</div><div><br /></div><div><br />Art credit: </div><div>Jean Groberg <a href="https://pixels.com/featured/1-greek-dancer-jean-groberg.html">https://pixels.com/featured/1-greek-dancer-jean-groberg.html</a><br /><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-85217532312345479822020-04-14T21:05:00.000-04:002020-04-16T12:18:10.504-04:00Post-Pandemic Chance for Musicality<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ta6xptMZ0fFw8RJdGS5-4LBHHpOONle7EhZwqc_JBJVU2EG2d26_uW_5O-SighOXjLn9Tb4smtKVxWIaKhxL7YPzi_igPN0uOr6aARJWnF39-dhp0fEd0laKuTofnGpu-cowF9PlCEM/s1600/Storm+comes+rainbow.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="646" data-original-width="625" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3ta6xptMZ0fFw8RJdGS5-4LBHHpOONle7EhZwqc_JBJVU2EG2d26_uW_5O-SighOXjLn9Tb4smtKVxWIaKhxL7YPzi_igPN0uOr6aARJWnF39-dhp0fEd0laKuTofnGpu-cowF9PlCEM/s320/Storm+comes+rainbow.png" width="309" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;"><b>Musicality has a chance in our post-pandemic world. </b></span><br />
<br />
A wonderful, maybe even radical change away from dancing-like-always-before is upon us. Musicality has a chance to grow because we have no milongas and the meaning of a warm embrace will be forever changed for the entire planet. Life seems more precious and fragile too. The good news is that we can take this time to feel the music in our body and come back to the milongas in the future with a new vision and return as <i>better </i>dancers, even better people.<br />
<br />
<b><span style="font-size: large;">Father and Dancing Son Advice</span></b><br />
My 21-year old son misses dancing as I do. He is in Europe and very restricted in his movements. He wonders about being a very rusty dancer too. So some of the following ideas were from some father-son advice that I will allow you to eavesdrop in on.<br />
<br />
There's a good reason that when we return to dancing, that we can be better than ever before. I told him to forget figures from his ballroom classes for now. "This is a time to put on music and just let your body move without a partner," I told him. "Let it be a time to find musicality--being attentive to how the music moves your body. Your body's physical response to music is what dance truly is." "Yeah, Dad," he said, "I have been doing that when no one is looking. I'll do it some more."<br />
<br />
<b>The Dancer/Musician</b><br />
My son is a dancer-musician. I told him that I used to believe that being a musician helped me as a dancer. Perhaps. . . but upon reflection, it may be just the opposite. Being an improvisational dancer has helped me to be a better musician. I told him that if you add up all musicians <i>of all time</i>, dancers have instructed nearly all musicians to express themselves with better musicality. If you are aware of tango orchestras' histories, certainly you will see this as the path of the greatest orchestras: They played in front of dancers, and dancers' responses further helped them hone how the musicians would play. Jazz, Rock, and Tango all died as powerful cultural phenomena of their times when dancers started to sit down and merely watch.<br />
<br />
<b>Great Musicians Dance with no Partner</b><br />
Great musicians dance with their instruments and not a partner. To demonstrate the musicality of a musician who dances, let me introduce you to a video of a musical prodigy, Alma Deutscher, when she was 12 years old. Here (in the video below) she is "dancing" behind the piano. Watch her body language change its "dance" too. I start the video below when she is moving her body to the orchestra's happier moments. She dances to the orchestrata. No partner. She is not playing. But then listen and watch her musical expression as the mood changes to a deeply moving piano dialogue with the orchestra. Is she crying? Perhaps. She may be holding back tears, but her fingers and body are crying. Body and soul: This is musicality. Innate. Internal. Expressed with competence. I weep every time I see this performance.<br />
<br />
<iframe allow="accelerometer; autoplay; encrypted-media; gyroscope; picture-in-picture" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/bWlAgksUQyo?start=1081" width="560"></iframe>
<br />
<br />
The awesome depth of human experience includes musical moments. Not being able to go out and dance is forcing us to be closer to the music in our solitude. I suggest being a minimalist and discover your musicality. The simple- but-musical tango walk helps with the nuances of expressing the music in one's body. Nearly all of the private lessons that I have taken in the last five years have been on the tango walk. Simplicity is complex.<br />
<br />
Your search for musicality finds its greatest satisfaction when tears come to your eyes because of the beauty of art that you have shared with just yourself. Later it will become just one other person. Musicality is entirely internal, and a pandemic is giving you a chance to find the landscape of your heart and in that heart, your unique musically as only you can express it. In the end, doing this will be more than just learning to better at musicality as a dancer. This practice will be medicine for your soul.<br />
<br />
<br />
Photo credit: <a href="https://www.thewrap.com/purpose-driven-content-time-pandemic-peter-samuelson/">https://www.thewrap.com/purpose-driven-content-time-pandemic-peter-samuelson/</a><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>This blog post is dedicated to my two awesome sons--both musicians and dancers, who in spite of being in their early twenties, turn to me as an older-and-wiser friend. Many fathers would love to be so blessed. It's a two-way street: We learn from each other and inspire each other. </i><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-53481596664689116482020-04-06T20:09:00.000-04:002020-06-29T14:58:14.084-04:00Will we ever dance again?<div class="gmail_default" style="font-family: comic sans ms,sans-serif;">
<div class="gmail_default">
</div>
<div class="gmail_default">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQFWLopO7fCL51EQLax1_K8VbawISoSJYJsCspUkTPPvUsSl5FYyuUCJYSoQ237pubjfg-3aBE6meb6TU2nrq62kEYs5L5-SLHTD6A1BLip_oW6VxNilUhdlgKUu8LInQSh5VswT3W-j4/s1600/Screenshot+2020-04-06+at+18.32.27.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="717" data-original-width="584" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQFWLopO7fCL51EQLax1_K8VbawISoSJYJsCspUkTPPvUsSl5FYyuUCJYSoQ237pubjfg-3aBE6meb6TU2nrq62kEYs5L5-SLHTD6A1BLip_oW6VxNilUhdlgKUu8LInQSh5VswT3W-j4/s320/Screenshot+2020-04-06+at+18.32.27.png" width="260" /></a></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;">Yes...<br /><br /><br />We Will Dance Again</span></div>
<div class="gmail_default">
<br />
Alone with no dancing in sight,<br />
How many long to dance again?</div>
<div class="gmail_default">
No time for dance as we hide<br />
From a virus that has found<br />
Its way into our bodies and lives.<br />
<br />
I try to feel dance in my body,<br />
And I find it in my hands.<br />
I feel your right hand in mine.<br />
I feel your back and hold you closer.<br />
I smell your favorite perfume<br />
Mixed with mine--the smell of you.<br />
I hear the music moving us as one.<br />
I feel your chest against mine,</div>
<div class="gmail_default">
Each nuance of the music<br />
Translated by two hearts.<br />
I feel our feet on the world, dancing.<br />
On this planet, spinning towards<br />
A twilight predicted by all...<br />
This speck of dirt and water--<br />
Eventually again in the cosmic womb,<br />
And then another Big-Bang Beginning.<br />
In a New Time dance will reappear.<br />
It cannot hide forever.<br />
Once again music, joy, happiness and love<br />
Will make souls dance in a new age.<br />
Sooner or later, perhaps later than soon,<br />
Even we can live this new age in our own time,</div>
<div class="gmail_default">
And we will dance again.</div>
</div>
Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.com0