tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post2495942677196661694..comments2024-03-21T05:39:38.636-04:00Comments on Tango Therapist: Heartbreak Milonga and the Tango TomcatTango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-49384483379187994942011-09-13T05:44:49.702-04:002011-09-13T05:44:49.702-04:00Your views are intriguing. I'm looking forward...Your views are intriguing. I'm looking forward to hearing more in the next blog.Terpsichoralhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12150778504060694415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-86904705445229259452011-09-12T20:22:21.649-04:002011-09-12T20:22:21.649-04:00Terpsi: Regarding the difference between Europe a...Terpsi: Regarding the difference between Europe and BsAs. The difference is that Europe may find its way to a stricter etiquette -- the hard way. You see, from a sociological perspective, that "código" or etiquette came out of real issues of psychological and physical safety. I was always an iconoclast with rules; so I am not a fundamentalist by nature, but I think that we are naive to reinvent tango etiquette to "fit us," only to find out that "our parents were right." Some rules like eating pork stay in spite of new circumstances... but wait, new research is bringing us back to not eating pork. The Kasimir story is Europe! Generally, German milongas and the sense of safety at them is wonderful. This series on psychological and physical safety has made me realized that Tango Etiquette has a much more basic function than what I first thought. More on that in my next blog. But again, thanks for you insights. I think your experiences with performing tomcats would be very interesting.Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-34486015466801436642011-09-12T09:13:28.655-04:002011-09-12T09:13:28.655-04:00Could I just clarify something about dancing multi...Could I just clarify something about dancing multiple tandas? In Buenos Aires, you don't dance multiple tandas in succession, not because of what it would mean (i.e. not really as a choice) but because everyone clears the floor during the cortina and the conventions against taking to the floor again with the same partner until a few tandas have gone by are just very strong. It's simply not usually done, at most milongas, unless you are sitting together and have come to the milonga as a couple. (Even so, you still clear the floor during the cortina). <br><br>In Europe, you can dance multiple tandas with the same partner. I have very mixed feelings about this. When I'm waiting to dance with someone, I get frustrated if they are dancing tanda after tanda with another woman. However, when I myself am in the arms of good leader, getting tanda after tanda of lovely tango bliss, it's different. In Europe, there are no hidden meanings behind these long tango sessions. <br><br>And you're right, in Buenos Aires there are so many tomcats around that women very quickly get wise to them. They can still do damage though -- but less to women at the milonga. The real damage they can inflict is if you are trying to work with one of them professionally (luckily, this is not my case at the moment, but sometimes it's unavoidable).Terpsichoralhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12150778504060694415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-65371506881170576002011-09-11T21:02:40.517-04:002011-09-11T21:02:40.517-04:00Terpsi... I always learn a new angle when I hear f...Terpsi... I always learn a new angle when I hear from you. Your comment clarifies something for me: The issue between the tomcats you describe and the tomcats in small communities is that these small tango town tomcats can make a thriving tango community into a tango-ghost town. The Kasmir story was in May of 2010. What has happened to that community since then? (That will be in my next blog!!) What you describe is the difference from having many alpha cats to just one. Another way of putting it is that there is an important difference between an urban scene vs. the smaller tango and more fragile "ecosystem." A tango tomcat is not going to harm a larger community like mine in Washington DC, but I have seen it devastate tango in places that should have had huge tango scenes, going by the size of the cities. Cassiel's article describes a one-tomcat town in Germany. Also, in BsAs tango etiquette is more generally taught to new tangueras; so as you point out, even the newest tangueras know the rule "more than one tanda" means something much more than just "I like to dance with you." Women who grow up in BsAs know how to take care of themselves around tomcats. That is my guess from living in Latin America myself.Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-57204078956618126642011-09-11T20:30:15.380-04:002011-09-11T20:30:15.380-04:00@ Leading Lady: I think there is a lot of wisdom ...@ Leading Lady: I think there is a lot of wisdom to what you have written. I have also heard that a person dances as he is inside. Some of us are truly drawn to the wrong person. Sometimes innocent people are not drawn to those who would do them harm, however. These things you know. Did the Finnish book ever get translated? If not, you have a good tango project before you! If it has been translated, please share with us the title and author. Kiitos! MarkTango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-12711012276548298372011-09-11T19:58:11.711-04:002011-09-11T19:58:11.711-04:00You know, living in Buenos Aires, I don't even...You know, living in Buenos Aires, I don't even think in terms of Tango Tomcats, Vultures etc. because there are just simply so many of them. They are legion. Unlike the Kitty Cat of the story, some of them are actually really wonderful dancers. And the tantalising promise they hold out to their favoured partners is not just that of a few good tandas at the milonga (of course, in Buenos Aires, you don't dance tanda after tanda with the same person) but of a potential career teaching and performing with them. The stakes are higher. But perhaps, in their sheer numbers, these guys become less harmful. Also, the competition you mention does spur them on to greater heights in their tango. On the whole European men who dance lack this motivation to improve. There is not the same keen sense of competition. And I think that has its disadvantages, too.Terpsichoralhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12150778504060694415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-42411866449574793692011-09-11T06:25:44.766-04:002011-09-11T06:25:44.766-04:00I think your posting here shows clearly one the ma...I think your posting here shows clearly one the main features of the pista - its power to make us and our behavior visible for others.<br><br>When reading about this maestro, my thoughts went back to a book about Finnish tango, where every other chapter is a bizarre story about a tango dancer's life and ideas. When he wants to take some tango steps at home he picks out the skeleton from the closet and then whirls together with it around in passionate tango!<br><br>I think for most of us the intensity of this dance comes from the size and number of skeleton's we need to air during a tanda or two! Its a relief when we can do it in this way without any words - many times we maybe even couldn't find any words. <br><br>I think also that a couple with skeletons in same size will find each other; these skeletons are like magnets pulling them together and then pushing them apart.LeadingLadyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01962460209335459383noreply@blogger.com