tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post1555179348847285113..comments2024-03-21T14:56:18.159-04:00Comments on Tango Therapist: The female ego in tangoTango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-1042343412091504022014-05-15T18:18:05.922-04:002014-05-15T18:18:05.922-04:00Mark, I recently danced with a person that I norma...Mark, I recently danced with a person that I normally would have been willing to dance with again at some future point assuming all the usual circumstances of music and partner worked out; however, all this person seemed able to do was to criticize how the local partners were not good dancers and it was a completely negative experience because this person would just not stop, despite a few mild comments on my part about going where you have your preferred selection. I get that it sucks when YOU do not get what YOU feel you've put in out of people at an event; however, the best way to get more out of people in the future is not to spew negativity. Either go where you find joy or work your butt off until you discover the joy where you're at or some combination of the two.<br /><br />I now recollect why I avoid this person as much as possible, it seems that every 2-3 years the same conversation recurs.smwhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02872985563424976698noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-49491098615403416932011-07-16T19:01:16.343-04:002011-07-16T19:01:16.343-04:00Cherie: Having an a sense of self (the "I&quo...Cherie: Having an a sense of self (the "I") is a necessary place to start, and that is where I would expect a person like you to start. Your contributions to the world community are vast, and I am honored to have your thoughts on my blog.<br><br>Christine: The only thing that I can suggest for someone like you is to never give up on the magic of the dance. Your tango philosophy is great. In many discussions with women, they often attribute their most magical moments to about the 1 or 2 year mark, but make it your goal to keep adding the magic rather than comparing the magic.<br><br>Señorita Terpsichoral: Exactly... the generalizations and comparisons will only embitter a person and that aura is sensed by potential partners. That woman will find herself not dancing and only grow more and more dissatisfied. I will disagree about the obstacles for men. In many cultures the most amazing dancers are men. The biggest obstacle for dancing well is the anti-dancing acculturation on the brain, not physiological differences. But sure you are right that flexibility and musculature can get in the way; however, in the area of much dance (let's say ballet) a man using these "obstacles" is truly amazing.<br><br>Leading Lady: I always treasure your input -- a woman who knows both roles and has learned to appreciate both. I think your English is great considering the obstacles of being a Norwegian in Sweden and writing in English!<br><br>Diedonne: And you know I am hearing the ladies complimenting you because you dance with connection and in tune with the music. To me that means you that you honor the true leader (la música) and let women hear the music and do their part. What they tell me is that it is so easy to dance with you.Tango Therapisthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12548118004604256736noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-35198322928624707242011-07-16T15:28:48.436-04:002011-07-16T15:28:48.436-04:00Mark,Interesting post, something to think about, a...Mark,<br><br>Interesting post, something to think about, and it makes me appreciate women/dancers who can put their ego aside, and connect with us.Dieudonnenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-32905788656210725012011-07-16T14:20:54.684-04:002011-07-16T14:20:54.684-04:00I know all your points but your Number 2. makes me...I know all your points but your Number 2. makes me still laugh! I remember what a relief it was to laugh at our impossible, frustating position! That was during my follower period!<br><br>But there is one more thing lighting the flames in my eyes! When the famous followers change to a leader abrazo the other ladies start to glorify them and wonder why they do not get gigs! <br>Gigs based on what?<br>These videos are mostly some kind of Happenings like the ones people kept on doing in 70's. Very little leader skills involved.<br><br>But a korean lady Peninsula Cho has saved my mental health. She is the first leader worth name! She is amazing - Clasic style, technique is really good and her musicality is extremly nice. There is some follower videos on Youtube and leading at FaceBook.LeadingLadyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01962460209335459383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-2971798782890077672011-07-16T13:54:35.962-04:002011-07-16T13:54:35.962-04:00I think men do face a few additional anatomical ch...I think men do face a few additional anatomical challenges when taking up dance: you have a higher centre of gravity and a round (rather than elliptical) hipbone (which also affects balance) and the side effects of testosterone in puberty can also have a negative effect on male flexibility. <br><br>And I also think that many of us have experienced a frustrating gender imbalance in tango (which may of course be put down to the fact that dance of all kinds is more popular among women than men, not necessarily because we are better at it). Neither of these two things says anything about any particular leader or follower.<br><br>But I have heard the assertion that the man's role is harder and following is much easier so many times that I think that when people tell you following is harder or women dance better they are, perhaps, trying to balance the score. <br><br>At the end of the day, of course, such generalisations will not help anyone improve their own individual dance. <br><br>www.tangoaddiction.wordpress.comTerpsichoralhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12150778504060694415noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-48219896503719088442011-07-16T12:10:15.395-04:002011-07-16T12:10:15.395-04:00I think I agree with Cherie. There are such diffe...I think I agree with Cherie. There are such differences in the tango roles' challenges at various times. Personally, from where I'm at in my dancing experience, (1.5 years) I can't even imagine how the guys interpret the music intuitively and manage good floorcraft/dodge traffic as well, all while keeping/protecting you as a 'treasure' in his arms, staying deeply connected etc. I get to dance and trust him to manage the rest.Christine--RHPhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14209880537597263440noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8035244062520832583.post-89994033530235286412011-07-16T11:21:15.301-04:002011-07-16T11:21:15.301-04:00I'm a woman with an ego, of course, as we all ...I'm a woman with an ego, of course, as we all have. But I've never said or thought any of those 4 points.<br><br>I think in Anglo-Saxon cultures, generally women are more comfortable in their bodies and find it easier to move to music than men. But no one can say they are "better" dancers than men. <br><br>What I say in beginning classes is that at first, it's easier for women to follow a strong leader than for the man to be one when no one really knows anything yet. (Ruben can make a refrigerator dance.) And it's more difficult for the man at first because he has to worry about leading, floor craft, traffic, the music.<br><br>But then later it becomes more difficult for the woman who has to follow every man's different style while the man always dances his own way with whatever partner he has at the moment. <br><br>So that point evens out, I think. <br><br>The cabeceo protects everyone's ego. And it especially protects the woman from men molesting her in her own space--her table. A man can not come over and sit down or bother her in any way, unless she gives him permission. That's why women feel so safe in the milongas here when they go alone.<br><br>In Spanish, "egoista" means selfish, and we all do have to watch out for #1 to a certain point. Once we do that, then we can give of ourselves to our partner, and he to us, and that's when we can both go to Tango Heaven.tangocheriehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10012220622641996877noreply@blogger.com