Saturday, November 21, 2009

The 2% Solution, part 2

  • Did you ever get rusty at having fun?
  • Did you need to be coached on joy?
  • Have you practiced at being happy?
Our joy is the 98% that fills in the 2% talent that many of us have, making tango our 100%

In part one of the 2% solution, we considered the idea of having 2% talent as a tango dancer, and how many dancers with little talent become good dancers. Filling the 98% gap is helped by three things: Having a coach, practicing alone and practicing with others. But these three things are not the real solution. The solution is JOY.

Many people who HAVE talent never become good dancers.  They hide their light. On the other hand those who do not have talent become good to great dancers because of their joy in dance. They work at having fun. I believe those who work at anything because of joy will excel in life. The majority of good dancers in most communities started with 2% talent. I am one of those who out of joy is improving in spite of my talent deficit.

Joy is the answer
I took a long to time to get to the real 2% solution, I know. But since so many believe that having talent, a coach and practicing a lot will be the path to being good, it was only fair to see why they are NOT the solution.

Losing Joy
The most disheartening thing is to try to change the thing you cannot change. You cannot change how much talent you have. Surely, one can practice and find a coach, but what is the point if we don’t know that the real issue is joy?  So, find mastery with the talent you do have. Enjoy your practice but find a coach that helps you practice at the best level of your talent (not at the level you SHOULD dance). Find a coach that inspires you and helps you on the path to maintaining your joy. It is joy, not fundamentalistic Tango-as-Righteous-Religion, that is the work of a good coach. Such coaches who take care of your joy quotient are rare. Most coaches – even the best of the best – do not know that their most important commodity is teaching people how to have JOY and to maintain JOY. So look around!

We need all the help we can get because joy is often elusive. A coach can take it away, practicing with people or alone can take it away. So you will need to protect your love of tango. A good tango community is the best environment for this, just as a loving group of friends, family and community helps most people to grow spiritually.

Find your own 2% solution. Find the people who give you joy. Three women at the Tango Siempre Milonga last night told me that they were rusty even before we started dancing. I asked them, “Are you rusty at having fun?”

“Well, no!”

“Then if you have fun, you are dancing 100% in my book.”

And it was fun. It was the 98% piece joined with 2% talent solution.

If you don’t mind dancing with a mediocre dancer (in the life-long process of trying to become good), please do some “pro bono” work, and dance with me at the next milonga. There is lots of work-at-joy to do. Add to the joy that keeps others and yourself coming back to gain mastery at JOY while out on a tango walk. That’s the other 98% of the 2% solution.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

The 2% Solution: Talent is not the Answer

I am a mediocre dancer. I know that. But I learned three important things that many other mediocre dancers have not. The importance of:
Maybe you need a talent-focused tango coach?
  • Having a coach
  • Practicing alone
  • Practicing with others
Talent is not the answerIf you are like me and only have 2% talent but can work hard you can be at least a good dancer. I am in the 2% talent range on many things. But I am emboldened with having learnt to play music professionally. I wasn’t very talented, but I worked hard at it and I watched myself pass talented people who had gobs of talent but didn’t work at it.

I did the same with speaking foreign languages: Not much talent there either. I wasn’t allowed to take French in 7th grade because my aptitude test said I didn’t have the talent for it. A few languages later, Spanish, Greek and German, I learned the same lesson of the 2% talent solution.

It took me a long time to learn how to ride a unicycle, but because my children wanted to, I took my little talent and got up early before anyone would see me struggling like a clumsy clown. Now people think that the 3 of us have uncanny talent at balance as we play street hockey on unicycles. No, I have 2% talent. The rest was work. We have 100% fun and joy together, but it all started with the 2% solution.

Work is not the answer either
If one does not have talent and only works hard, failure will soon be knocking at the door. The only way to stick to it with little talent is to find joy in what you are doing. One of the most important things about going to a coach is they might be pretty hard on you, but they should be helping you with the joy of mastery. So (if you’ll allow some coaching about being coached), avoid really negative coaches. They will ruin you. Look at their students who are so critical of others because they have endured an abusive coach (the critical parent paradigm) and now invest all their energy in pleasing the critical inner dialogue instead of loving tango for what it is – pure joy. Sadly most tango teachers do not find your talents; they find your flaws and try to make you dance like them instead of dancing like you.  Avoid the S&M Tango Dance Academy!!!  You can tell who goes to the S&M Tango Dance Academy by the students in their black leather and whips.

I have to admit, I sometimes like dancing with these S&M students--ouch those ganchos hurt!  Hey!  No spanking at a milonga!  Only practicas!  (Spanking is not in the códigos de tango but that's just good commons sense!)

Next: "The 2% Solution:  The role of joy


Photo Credit:  
http://www.yisforyogini.com/2011/08/5-ways-yoga-is-like-s-and-m.html

Tango Service:  http://www.tangoservices.com/

Saturday, November 14, 2009

Turning Around Tango's "Vertical Expression" Definition (poem)

Tango: The vertical expression of a horizontal desire. – Anonymous


Vertical Desire
Until I learned the power of tango, touch-in-movement,
My life was a safari led by pangs of passion-hunger.
The hunt was on.

But in tango, I found myself fulfilled ...
  by touch,
      by movement.


In tango – at the milonga – I am on a photo safari.
I capture only the moments of beauty,
And I put them in the Album of My Mind.
Tango has turned my world around,
No leader or follower but two followers
Intensely listening not only to the music
But to what the other hears in the music.

She takes me to places I have never been,
And she tells me I do the same with her.
Who's the leader when we are both following
The music?

Strange how even my moments of intimacy

Have been so transformed by tango.
My intimacy is a sharing of two souls,
Fulfilled by touch, by movement.
There is no leader but two followers
Led by the music of two souls in embrace,


And this sort of passion has become
The horizontal expression of a vertical desire:
Tango.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Milonga Jungle Creatures Part Two: Those who DO dance

In part one, I mentioned the Milonga Jungle Creatures that I avoid (Black Widow, Kitty-on-a-Leash, Gretel Grudge, etc.). Now here are some other creatures, whom I have catalogued while on one of my Milonga Jungle excursions.

The Enigma Creatures: Some women do not dance as much as they like. Alicia my friend and first tango coach does not dance as much as she likes because she can dance every dance and all night. She was born in stilettos. Luckily it was a head-first birth. In part, I am writing this for her. Having the ability to learn from the creatures who dance is important. I think I know about these dancing creatures better than many women because they capture me! So far they let me go after 3 or 4 songs. However, I hope that ladies leave some more ideas in a comment.

Ladies, learn from these creatures:

Miss Aisle B. Dancing: Some women stand in the aisle as men are coming off the floor, with that “dance with me” look in their eyes. That works for them. This is sales, a numbers game. Rejection cannot ruin you in the sales game.

The Romance Novelist: The woman with the aura about her just sitting there may be writing a hot romance novel in her head. She has that look of I-just-love-being-here all over her face. Why is she blushing and fanning herself?

Amy Magnetist: She has some sort of power over men. Did she read this in a book, or is she the Black Widow in disguise? Anyway, get a book on animal magnetism.

Helga Hypnotist: She learned long ago how to hypnotize the best dancers at the refreshment table, and dance all night!

Gretta Moovit-Baybee: She moves to the music while sitting or standing. I dance with this tanguera most when I am an out-of-town dancer. She is almost always fun to dance with, and often a great dancer.

Permit Patty: Before a milonga she asks for me for a “permit to ask for a dance” or I more often give her the permit. Either works. Permit Patty comes all dressed up to the milonga after a class and I don’t even recognizer her until she is asking me. I am so relieved that she found me because I would not have even seen her. It is an honor to be asked by Permit Patty.

Fanessa Vullafun:  Having fun is 100% for her.  Fun is what Fanessa is all about.  She goes to classes to add to her "F2" (fun-factor) not snob factor, and she is my best partner, the one I'll most likely ask to dance a milonga.  We'll most likely dance more than one tanda.

Nancy Knotty: They say that the nice guy comes in last. Maybe the nice girl comes in last too. What is the opposite of nice? According to Santa, the opposite of “nice” is “naughty.” Try that ladies. (Now I am guessing.)

Cammy the Chameleon: All the above all in one woman and maybe even the option below.

LAST and least:

Femme Fatale: Handsome men get dances. Beautiful woman get dances. Beauty fades but the Milonga goes on. Give up the Femme Fatale myth as a part of your human development.

So what if the good looking lady is getting a lot of dances.  Don't forget the other creatures who may be dancing more than you.  Femme Fatale is not stealing all your dances!  Negative self-talk is.  This in cognitive therapy is called “the negative filter”  Let me suggest something that is a typical female negative filter about men, and this negative filter will ruin dancing for you: Believing that men are SO much different than women. (Research is showing this NOT to be true in spite of pop psychology – Venus/Mars stuff.) Men AND women chase after the packaging. A very handsome man from Dallas comes down and dances like a bumper car clown, and you stand in line to dance with him. (So I don't want to hear about "men are so shallow...bla, bla, bla.")

Femme Fatale be damned.  Get over it and start dancing anyway.  Metamorphose into one of the many dancing Milonga Jungle Creatures if the Femme Fatale persona never possesses you or before she leaves you at some point.

If you have read this blog, you have one Permit Patty life-long memembership with me.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Milonga Jungle Creatures

The milonga is a microcosm of the Universe in many ways – at least in the human behavior universe. One of the enigmas of the milonga universe is how we dance with some and do not dance with others. I have no idea why some women won’t even look at me. I showered. I take tango lessons to be better. I go to practicas to learn what women feel from a new lead. I just don’t know why I am shunned by some. Fil, a tanguero friend and philosopher once told me, “You never will understand why a woman shuns you. It is just like life in that regard.”

Yet, I can reveal at least the secrets of why I do not dance with some women. I avoid certain creatures out there in the milonga jungle:

The Black Widow: A woman who looks angry is not going be someone I dance with. An angry tanguera scares me away. She seems mad a men and women, sitting there fuming that she is not dancing. The angry woman has three choices, I suppose: (1) Hire a dance taxi; (2) hire a taxi home before the chair melts from all the steaming; or (3) learn how to repress your homicidal feelings enough that men do not fear your lethal gaze.

Dressed-Down Doris: The problem usually is that the women have dressed very nicely, and we men dishonor them with casual dress. Ladies, don’t do what men do who break away from one the best parts of tango culture – such as looking, acting cultured.

Gretel Grudge: A tanguera who is a walking grudge bank. Gretel remembers the time a man said something stupid from 2 years ago (me). Gretel Grudge won’t even dance with the guy that danced poorly two years ago (me). Gretel will sit out more and more dances until she will have no reason ever to come to a milonga again. Gary Grudge, her husband, gave up tango about two years ago. Now he’ll have her company again. I won’t begrudge him that! (See the Black Widow above – pray for Gary.)

Satellite Dish-Woman (SDW): I don’t dance with her anymore. She is too hard to read. SDW sends out signals to men who possess the new, updated version of the SDW Tuner (that is, they can read minds). These men in possession of the ability to read minds will know that Satellite-Dish Woman really meant that her last three refusals were just for the moment. I do NOT have the new software or even SDW hardware. I like the less-complex biological transmitter (a woman’s voice). Bio-Transmitter Woman (BTW) has her shoes off or needs to rest. She answers my cabeceo but tells me (with her voice), “Don’t give up on me, I really just need to rest.” Women talk twice as much with men (according to research.) And one would think that they would be excellent at this task. Well, most woman are good at this task, except of course, Satellite Dish-Woman.

Miss Daisy: She loves me, she loves me not. Hot/cold. One day, don’t be surprised if you are dancing much less, Miss Daisy. Tango gives us all an opportunity to learn life’s larger lessons. Caliente/Helada Señorita Daisy probably is hot and cold at work and at home too, no doubt.

Techno-Frau: A woman texting on a cell phone is not going to get a cabeceo because …

She is not dancing with me

She’s engaged to AT&T.
Milongas should be like western saloons where men must leave all weapons at the door and women, their cell phones. Is she texting all the men with whom she’d rather be dancing?

Kitty on a Leash:
 A woman sitting next to a man, and just dancing mostly with him is also a problem. I have double-trouble getting a cabeceo from her and an "I won't kill you if you ask her" cabeceo from him. She should get up and meet other people.

The creatures at the milonga I just mentioned are often just temporarily this or that. They grow (as I am trying to do), and become better dancers and people, sharing the great love we tangueros have of this rich dance and culture. Three years ago, I started out with “me Tarzan you Jane” in the Milonga Jungle. And now you’ll find me in the jungle enjoying the distant drums of the Tango Beat, wearing a tux, nodding with a smile instead of asking.  If apes can get what they want with a look and nod, so can we.


Next: The milonga creatures who seem to dance a lot (it is not all just looks)




Photo credits:
Black widow -- http://www.zastavki.com/eng/Fantasy/wallpaper-17455.htm
Techno-Frau -- http://www.theverge.com/2011/12/15/2638130/photographer-seymour-templar-smartphone-light

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Tango is NOT an Addiction, Part II

Tango is NOT an Addiction, Part I started out, “If the model for motivation you follow is addiction, you run a higher risk of eventually being healed. Once you are healed of your addiction, we may never see you again at the milonga. What keeps some tangueros/tangueras motivated and others fall away? A different model may help you from falling away.”

So what is the different model from the Medical Model?  There are many models to choose from.  I like a Human Development Model, but let's just choose something outside of the humanities.

How about a business model for tango? Anything we love, including tango, eventually becomes work--at least at times.

Why do people come and go in Tango? Will you and I just fade away too? If you were to ask newlyweds, they run NO RISK from ever falling out of love.  Yet, so many of these "no-risk" marriages fail.  People “addicted” to tango feel the same about tango--no risk of falling out of love with tango.  So in Part One of this theme, I hoped to decreased your risk for leaving tango. You are no longer addicted. Tango is a good way of just getting what all people need in life – Maslow’s Hierarchy of Need.  Are you addicted to air?  Nonsense!  The medical model is taking over everything we love and calling it addiction.  Imagine two psychiatrists observing two new women at their addictions clinic:  " Look at her!  She has had three children because she is addicted children and family.  Oh no, see her over there?  Another tanguera!  She's addicted to tango because she loves a warm embrace and dancing to music in perfect tandem with a partner.  She needs help!

Now the question is how to keep this wonderful fountain of life, called tango, in your life.   Now that you have detoxed yourself from the medical model! :-)

The business model
According to a business model there are four types of motivation for motivating people to stick to things that need work: Compliance, willpower, imagination and habit. Each succeeding motivation type is more likely to lead to more motivated individuals than the ones preceding it.

This work-for-it model may work well after the honeymoon with tango is over. Once tango becomes a chore or work, the business model helps us stick to it and rediscover why tango was once so important.
  • Compliance (I know this work is good for me. I will follow the rules).
  • Willpower (I am going to get off this sofa and go).
  • Imagination (I am going to rediscover why tango was so good for me. I can imagine being really good at this.)
  • Habit (tango is just what I do. It fulfills me and makes me a better person).
Imagination was where it all started. Maybe we were lonely or want to have a better relationship.  Perhaps we went to learn how to dance with our partner. We imagined getting to be a good dancer, making our relationship better. Some long time dancers learn tango as another dance to be learned, like a new language for linguists. That imagination was or is going to be seriously challenged by how difficult becoming a good dancer really is, or learning to dance did not help much in keeping or finding a partner. Imagination cannot hold you, so you when you fall away, with this weak model, you can easily say that tango was an "addiction."  Too bad.  Maybe everything that your love will be seen as an addiction.  That's a fatalistic, negative model.  Maybe you are addicted to the model and not to the things that you love?

It does not take a prophet...Your tango will experience through the years many positive and negative experiences. We may lose a partner and a song reminds us of that loss. A new crowd of people come into the scene and they have different values and skill levels, and it is just not fun anymore. We may go through a depression and our “aura” is so heavy that people don’t even want to dance with us. So a balanced business model of compliance/willpower/imagination/habit may become the only way to stick with it. Ask the people who have been dancing for 10 or more years. They have stuck with it. Why? Ask them! They have had injuries related and unrelated to dancing. They have experienced drama and trauma related to dancing and watched people come and go (loss). But they are still working at it. I think they have learned to comply with the rules (both the etiquette and rules of dance), which allows them to dance with anyone in the world (not just a group out of a certain studio). They have had willpower to allow play to become work and then turn back to play again with the lessons of any love we might have--abandoning hope and love are so easy otherwise. Perhaps tango as a good business allows them to imagining the next level of dance and the fun it will bring.  Finally, like the devoted monk who prays and goes to church, tango has become a habit out of the comfort it brings.

And from the humanities, yet another model (in a few sentences)I hope that you have already found this on your own; so I will not say much here about even a better model than the business model. The spiritual growth model focuses on you connections to real people. You have joined a group of people who hug each other, who celebrate with each other, who cry together when someone in the community dies.  Can I then suggest a benediction to those who made it to the end of this blog?  If you truly want to stick with the wonderful thing in your life, stop worrying about "sticking to it."  It will stick to you when you ...

“Dance that you may have life and life abundantly."

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Part I: Tango is NOT an Addiction

"Oh, yes it is!" many of you may say.  It is NOT.   

If the model for motivation you follow is “addiction," you run a higher risk of eventually being healed. Once you are healed of your addiction, we may never see you again at the milonga. What keeps some tangueros/tangueras motivated and others fall away?  A different model may help you from falling away.  [Tomorrow, I will introduce a motivation model, but for now, let's find a better human behavior model that explains the power of tango.]

I work in a medical world of colleagues, some VERY SMART people.  So I know that I am a minority in my own business of "mental health" to reject the medical model as being helpful in describing human behavior. 

Tango is joy, freedom, movement not an addiction.
Addiction is a very negative medical model, and, sorry to say, you and everyone you know is sick to some degree.  [Read Viktor Frankel for a glass-is-half-full perspective of human psychology.]  So we go to our 12-step meeting.  I stand and say:  "My name is Mark, and I am addicted to the medical model.  I find it hard to think of the world without applying the modern medical model to everything.  My computer is sick because it has a virus.  St. Paul had a 'conversion disorder' being blinded by a light, talking to Jesus (psychosis) and hearing him too.  I feel guilty when I say this, but even Jesus had some sort of delusional disorder.  Everyone I know is sick, sick, sick.  I am addicted to the medical model."  I sit down.  People clap.  I cry.

Now the Voice of Reason:
Tango is a wonderful thing and so is air.  If you say I am addicted to both, then so be it.  I really am fond of air.  Abraham Maslow said that air, food, water, shelter, sleep, movement, touch* (there are more) are the first level in the hierarchy of human needs.  Babies and old people who are not touched die.  The medical term is "failure to thrive."  Just say it!  "They died for lack of a caring touch!"  Our need (especially in touch-resistant America) is fulfilled in tango.
Did you ever realize that you are getting nearly everything you need according to Maslow on the most basic level at a milonga?  Is this addiction?  The "religion" of the medical model has infected the way you think.  Whoops, did I say infected?  Oh, my God,I have contracted a medical model disorder.  And I am not just sad about it, I am clinically depressed.  But after I get off work and you see me dancing all night, you'll know that I am a manic-depressive patient.  I think this is what is called a sarcastic rant.

So please stop telling me you are addicted to tango, okay? It is not the case.  You had a great milonga.  You were breathing.  You got some food and water at the refreshment table.  The studio was great shelter with air conditioning or heat. You were moving, touching, communicating.  And, that meine Damen und Herrn was just the first level of Maslow's Hierarchy of Need.  Tango starts at the bottom and goes all the way to the top of his pyramid.

Now, that you are not addicted, you now are less likely to just stop tango when it turns out to be work one day.  Or you have some really bad experiences related to tango.  The honeymoon one day will be over.  Will then the addiction is healed?  And will you (as many before you) never go to a milonga again?  If you are addicted you may just say, "I am over that!"  But I hope you will not give up as others when they convinced themselves they were no longer addicted to air, water, food, touch, movement, and JOY.  Pure joy.  Where is my bandoneón?  I feel a melancholic tango coming on.  I am singing now: 

Esa mujer que bailaba conmigo
Ya no viene desde hace mucho.
Abandonó el tango y sus tradiciones
Así como si fueran malas adicciones.
Abandonó la milonga por su tristeza
Pero el tango todavía ama a su pureza.

That woman who danced with me
No longer visits the milonga
She abandoned tango and its traditions
As if there were merely evil addictions.
She abandoned tango out of sadness
But tango still loves her nevertheless.

Let's make a date to meet in Austin in 30 years at a milonga, okay?


Tuesday, November 3, 2009

The Three Guests (poem)

Guests at the milonga thought
"Certainly they are lovers."
The way we looked at each other
In silence and nodded.
How I led her to the dance floor by her hand.
Then we had a knowing, silent stare.
I came closer and we leaned together,
Connecting, heart to heart as lovers do.
We looked at each others' hands together,
As my left and her right connected.
And as if this had been a perfectly timed ritual,
A new phrase in the music suddenly became
Our Movement.
Movement of two made one.
Certainly these two are lovers, danced for years together.
Later our legs entwined.

Our conversation was silent, not a word,
But loudly announced our passion.
We punctuated the music with slow steps and then fast.
Surely it was the favorite song of these lovers,
Danced a thousand times.
And then suddenly -- so it seemed to others –
We stopped. . .
Magically stopped with the music.
I led her back to her chair.
And the guests heard me say:
"Welcome to our milonga and our city!
It was wonderful dancing with you!"
Guests at the milonga thought
Certainly we were lovers.
And we were -- one tango at a time.

The Unknown Tango Theologian from Salado, Texas

Monday, November 2, 2009

Part II of "The Airplane Trip, Tango and Sex"

"Flying an airplane, tango and sex all have two essential elements: The take off and the landing. The ride in the middle should be enjoyable and not too bumpy, but taking off and landing are essential." The Unknown Tango Theologian from Salado's exegesis of the Song of Solomon

"Ladies and Gents, put your seats and tray tables in the upright position. We are about to aterrizar"....

Let me suggest something to tangueros/tangueras for phase one of the landing -- the approach. The landing is not just the man's role. On Thursday, Kay added something to a tango landing of mine that made it perfect. She made a move I had never had experienced. Mostly women are just happy to be alive, but she had enough wits about her to add a nice dip in elevation to the last beat. Women have taken the controls and landed for me because I was sleeping or distracted by a near miss of a Kamikaze pilot. Women make all the difference in the world to my crazy landings to a milonga. (Milonga landings are with a helicopter-on-springs -- not fixed wing landings.) Just this last weekend, Loreen, Bentley, Judith and Janet inspired me with fun landings that made me laugh. Just incredible.
My suggestion to both men and women is that you discover what makes the ending happen musically. The bandoneon typically goes through two phrases (of usually 8 bars) where the musician shows virtuosity (fast playing) and brings it to an end. If the leader/follower knows this, then in a sense you know that the GROUND is coming up soon. Good to know that piece of information about the ground, you know.

[Tangueros, this is harder, but I will add it (since the blog is called "Tango Beat"): If you dance on the up-beat for at least the last two measures you will land on the downbeat when it you hit the ground. The vals I count (and feel) in six beats per measure, dancing the last few six-beat phrases (measures) on 1, 3, 5 and land on 1 (the downbeat).  There is a milonguero on YouTube whom I love to watch but he crashes on every end.  I hope is reading this.]

In aviation the word "attitude" means the angle of decent -- attitude is everything:
Sure, hitting the ground without crashing is a very nice climax as climaxes go. But that is not the entire landing.  My God! You are alive! Maybe more alive that any other time in last few hours, days, months, years. Embrace someone for a moment! Don't just jump away like you are embarrassed to have embraced a human being for 3 minutes.

Are we there now?
No. The entire landing is still not over until you taxi to the terminal. Wait until the pilot has turned off the safety belt sign. One's after-play is essential too. I like to take the woman back to her chair, but she has to be willing. Is she already running off to see about her next flight? Maybe a lover is waiting for her in the terminal? Or (more likely) she has been accustomed to not be escorted to her chair. If she is willing and expectant, our last moments together allow me to talk to her since I haven't talked to her more than a few sentences between songs. The cortinas (curtains) close on a the stage of a great play. After-play.

¡Bon Voyage, Tangueros!

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Airplane Ride and the Tango Ride


Air travel, tango (and sex) all have three critically elements in common:  The takeoff, the ride and the landing.  Sure, the ride should be enjoyable and not too bumpy, but the take off and landing are essential.

The flight to heaven is about to begin...

Seats and tray tables are in the upright position

During the cortina the DJ Tower is signaling to pay attention throughout the milonga's table and dance area. The "runway" should be clear so others can catch the eye of other "passengers." Chatty friends should respect that others are sitting up and looking for a chance to fly the Friendly Skies of United.  I find it strange that those not putting their seats and posture in the "upright position" sometimes complain that they keep missing the flight.

Listen to the "Control Tower"
Sometime the roar of the crowd makes it hard to hear the commands from the DJ Tower at takeoff. Talk all you want, but not over the music, and please, please--not while dancing. Even if there is a lot of chatter before takeoff, the landing needs absolute silence between dancers.  No one will die with a bad landing caused by the distraction of chatter, but I love the smooth tandem work of a good landing.

Now that you have landed...
Don't take off your seat belt until the DJ pilot turns of the seatbelt sign.  It's not often but it is weird when your flight partner is already up and taking the luggage out of the storage bin and the pilot has not turned off the seat belt sign.  Perhaps you just landed in Nirvana?  Give a sigh.  Be happy about the miracle of dance.

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